"Yep, back in the day when I worked on the other side of the camera, before each and every sex scene I'd go through this extensive ritual where I'd mat down my chest hair and the fluff it up a mite, then mat it down once again, and then fluff it right back up; then I'd put a condom on, adjustin' it half a dozen or so times, then put some lube on it, wipe it right off, and then put some more right back on, then scratch my underarms a spell, then I'd wax and re-wax my handle-bar mustache for a few minutes 'til it seemed righteous to me, scratch my underarms a few more times and then finally spend a few minutes adjustin' my black socks so's that they 'line-up' properly, and then... then... only then would I engage in the cinematic debauchery under the blistering lights. Yep, them were the good ol' days when I was known as the 'Human Pornography Delay.'"
