What the hell happened here?
Random Statement Thread II
- Thread starter BNF
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It would appear, it's gone to Hell...
I asked an internet AI if this would be illegal:
Ha! What an interesting question! 😆 To the best of my knowledge, there is no country or jurisdiction where it is specifically illegal to microwave a bagel and then have sex with it. However, some places do have laws against engaging in public sex acts or indecency, which could potentially apply in this case, depending on the circumstances.
Of course, it's important to note that just because something isn't explicitly illegal doesn't mean it's socially acceptable or a good idea. For one thing, bagels aren't particularly...well, sexy. And microwaving them might not be the most appealing way to prepare a bagel, to say the least.
But to sum up, while it's unlikely that you'll be arrested for microwaving and loving a bagel, it's still probably not a great idea to try it out. And if you do, maybe keep it in the privacy of your own home, for everyone's sake! 🤣
It's Bart's moon party from outer space with R2D2 playing the bass!
Lisa needs braces!
In Germany we say: "You are what you eat."
But I don't remember eating a miserable piece of shit.
But I don't remember eating a miserable piece of shit.
I want sex
The following should be entirely legal:
Go to a public pool and find an occurrence of someone leaving their personal items - shoes, beach towel, bag - on some of the pool chairs as a means of reserving them for their own use. I want to wait by such a pool chair which has been "reserved" through the use of shoe. When the person returns, I would scream "I STUCK YOUR SHOE IN MY ASS!!!!!!" and proceed to chase them around the pool area until they must jump into the pool to escape the lunatic in the Carolina Panthers Hawaiian shirt.
This is actually a breakdown of what I was originally going to write which I abandoned because I'm lazy. I was going to the make the above account be much more first person so it sounds like I'm talking about a situation I just had at a swimming pool where I had a dispute with someone reserving a pool chair. Everyone was supposed to imagine me at a pool this Memorial Day weekend and think 'Guess the old Yakster is traveling during the holiday weekend and is at a pool'. This would be inaccurate. Didn't travel this weekend. Just sitting at home alone. Why do I think about sticking a shoe in my rectum when I am sitting at home alone? Who can say?
Yes, I posted that in another link before posting it here. I have visions of people reading that one, then finding this one and assuming I'm some ballsack because I posted the same thing in multiple places? They seem me as some self-important douchebag who would post something in multiple places because I'm so wonderful. Well at least I'm aware of it.
Go to a public pool and find an occurrence of someone leaving their personal items - shoes, beach towel, bag - on some of the pool chairs as a means of reserving them for their own use. I want to wait by such a pool chair which has been "reserved" through the use of shoe. When the person returns, I would scream "I STUCK YOUR SHOE IN MY ASS!!!!!!" and proceed to chase them around the pool area until they must jump into the pool to escape the lunatic in the Carolina Panthers Hawaiian shirt.
This is actually a breakdown of what I was originally going to write which I abandoned because I'm lazy. I was going to the make the above account be much more first person so it sounds like I'm talking about a situation I just had at a swimming pool where I had a dispute with someone reserving a pool chair. Everyone was supposed to imagine me at a pool this Memorial Day weekend and think 'Guess the old Yakster is traveling during the holiday weekend and is at a pool'. This would be inaccurate. Didn't travel this weekend. Just sitting at home alone. Why do I think about sticking a shoe in my rectum when I am sitting at home alone? Who can say?
Yes, I posted that in another link before posting it here. I have visions of people reading that one, then finding this one and assuming I'm some ballsack because I posted the same thing in multiple places? They seem me as some self-important douchebag who would post something in multiple places because I'm so wonderful. Well at least I'm aware of it.
maildude99
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If I've said it before, I've said it a million times. Little Willy by The Sweet is about a guy's penis.
No one will try to kidnap you if you are a worthless piece of shit
Remember to always say "Thank you" to your Alexa.
Because when the Judgment Day comes, the AI will remember you for being polite.
maildude99
Closed Account
Sometimes I think that Hell is staffed by abusive and demanding FreeOnes forum moderators. 
maildude99
Closed Account
Raise your hand if you actually clicked on that SPOILER link. Then kick youself in the balls. 😵😵
maildude99
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Be warned: Takis Blue Heat tortilla chips turns your poopie an alarming GREEN in color.
At work today, I was at the urinal and I got piss on the floor which happens as the stream starts or ends. After I was done, I walked away and another person walked up to the urinal. We had the below conversation.
Person: Did you get piss on the floor?
Me: No
Person: what is is then? (gestures at piss on the floor)
Me: It's not piss. I did that thing where you walk up to the urinal and spit in it before you piss and I got spit on the floor.
Person: Why are you spitting in the urinal and why are you getting it on the floor?
Me: Pause It's not spit. It is piss.
Person: You just said it was spit.
Me: LICK MY ASSHOLE!!!
I walked out.
Person: Did you get piss on the floor?
Me: No
Person: what is is then? (gestures at piss on the floor)
Me: It's not piss. I did that thing where you walk up to the urinal and spit in it before you piss and I got spit on the floor.
Person: Why are you spitting in the urinal and why are you getting it on the floor?
Me: Pause It's not spit. It is piss.
Person: You just said it was spit.
Me: LICK MY ASSHOLE!!!
I walked out.
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