Jack Nicholson in The Shining. "Heres Johnny!"
Favourite Movie Quotes
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Wedding Crashers
John: You better lock it up.
Jeremy: No, you lock it up!
John: You lock it up!
Jeremy: You lock it up!
John: You lock it up!
Jeremy: Lock it up!
"You Shut you mouth when your talking to me!"
"Make me a bicycle clown!"
"That was my first Asian!"
Janice: I've got the perfect girl for you!
Jeremy: [sigh] Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair.
Janice: Okay...
Jeremy: OK, can you, can you put that so he can't see it? Thank you. Hey, Janice... great talk.
John: You better lock it up.
Jeremy: No, you lock it up!
John: You lock it up!
Jeremy: You lock it up!
John: You lock it up!
Jeremy: Lock it up!
"You Shut you mouth when your talking to me!"
"Make me a bicycle clown!"
"That was my first Asian!"
Janice: I've got the perfect girl for you!
Jeremy: [sigh] Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair.
Janice: Okay...
Jeremy: OK, can you, can you put that so he can't see it? Thank you. Hey, Janice... great talk.
Along Came Polly
Sandy: Reuben, I'm in a situation here. We have to leave now.
Reuben: No. Can we stay a couple more minutes?
Sandy: Dude, no. This is serious. I just sharted.
Reuben: I don't know what that means.
Sandy: I tried to fart and a little shit came out. I just sharted. Now let's go.
[while in a crowded elevator]
Reuben: So whose party is this again?
Sandy: It's an art opening for this Dutch guy, Jost. His art sucks, but he used to sell me really good pot.....Oh, man, I'm so friggin' horny.
Sandy: Reuben, I'm in a situation here. We have to leave now.
Reuben: No. Can we stay a couple more minutes?
Sandy: Dude, no. This is serious. I just sharted.
Reuben: I don't know what that means.
Sandy: I tried to fart and a little shit came out. I just sharted. Now let's go.
[while in a crowded elevator]
Reuben: So whose party is this again?
Sandy: It's an art opening for this Dutch guy, Jost. His art sucks, but he used to sell me really good pot.....Oh, man, I'm so friggin' horny.
Austin Powers
Scott Evil: It's no hassle...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: But...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: I'm...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: All I'm say...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: There gonna get a...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: I'm...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: I'm just...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: Would...
Dr. Evil: Sh!... Knock-knock.
Scott Evil: Who's there?
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: But...
Dr. Evil: Let me tell you a little story about a man named Sh! Sh! even before you start. That was a pre-emptive "sh!" Now, I have a whole bag of "sh!" with your name on it.
Scott Evil: It's no hassle...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: But...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: I'm...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: All I'm say...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: There gonna get a...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: I'm...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: I'm just...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: Would...
Dr. Evil: Sh!... Knock-knock.
Scott Evil: Who's there?
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: But...
Dr. Evil: Let me tell you a little story about a man named Sh! Sh! even before you start. That was a pre-emptive "sh!" Now, I have a whole bag of "sh!" with your name on it.
Oceans Eleven
Terry: Who the hell is this?
Rusty: The man who's robbing you!
Turk Malloy: I'm gonna get out of the car and drop you like third period French.
Turk Malloy: Watch it, bud.
Virgil Malloy: Who you calling bud, pal?
Turk Malloy: Who you calling pal, friend?
Virgil Malloy: Who you calling friend, jackass?
Turk Malloy: Don't call me a jackass.
Virgil Malloy: I just did call you a jackass.
Reuben: You're Bobby Caldwell's kid. From Chicago. It's nice there, do you like it?
Linus: Yeah.
Reuben: That's wonderful. Get in the goddamn house.
Rusty: Shane, you've got three pairs. You can't have six cards! You can't have six cards in a five-card game!
Reuben: Where are they? That's what I want to know; where the hell are they?
Saul: They will be here.
Reuben: [mimicking Saul's voice] They will be here. Schmuck.
Terry: Who the hell is this?
Rusty: The man who's robbing you!
Turk Malloy: I'm gonna get out of the car and drop you like third period French.
Turk Malloy: Watch it, bud.
Virgil Malloy: Who you calling bud, pal?
Turk Malloy: Who you calling pal, friend?
Virgil Malloy: Who you calling friend, jackass?
Turk Malloy: Don't call me a jackass.
Virgil Malloy: I just did call you a jackass.
Reuben: You're Bobby Caldwell's kid. From Chicago. It's nice there, do you like it?
Linus: Yeah.
Reuben: That's wonderful. Get in the goddamn house.
Rusty: Shane, you've got three pairs. You can't have six cards! You can't have six cards in a five-card game!
Reuben: Where are they? That's what I want to know; where the hell are they?
Saul: They will be here.
Reuben: [mimicking Saul's voice] They will be here. Schmuck.
Crash
Graham: [on the phone] Mom, I can't talk right now, I'm having sex with a white woman.
Cameron: It's about time you realise what it's like to be black.
Christine: Oh, and you're talking about being black? The closest you ever came to being black, Cameron, was watching the Cosby Show.
Cameron: Well, at least I didn't watch it with the rest of the equestrian team.
Anthony: That waitress sized us up in two seconds. We're black and black people don't tip. So she wasn't gonna waste her time. Now somebody like that? Nothing you can do to change their mind.
Peter: So, uh... how much did you leave?
Anthony: You expect me to pay for that kind of service?
Lara: I heard a bang.
Daniel: What, like a truck bang?
Lara: Like a gun.
Shaniqua: Ahh! Oh, my God. What the hell is wrong with you people? Uh-uh! Don't talk to me unless you speak American!
Graham: [on the phone] Mom, I can't talk right now, I'm having sex with a white woman.
Cameron: It's about time you realise what it's like to be black.
Christine: Oh, and you're talking about being black? The closest you ever came to being black, Cameron, was watching the Cosby Show.
Cameron: Well, at least I didn't watch it with the rest of the equestrian team.
Anthony: That waitress sized us up in two seconds. We're black and black people don't tip. So she wasn't gonna waste her time. Now somebody like that? Nothing you can do to change their mind.
Peter: So, uh... how much did you leave?
Anthony: You expect me to pay for that kind of service?
Lara: I heard a bang.
Daniel: What, like a truck bang?
Lara: Like a gun.
Shaniqua: Ahh! Oh, my God. What the hell is wrong with you people? Uh-uh! Don't talk to me unless you speak American!
Sideways
Jack: If they want to drink Merlot, we're drinking Merlot.
Miles: No, if anyone orders Merlot, I'm leaving. I am NOT drinking any fucking Merlot!!!
Jack: There's my boy!! There he is! But who is your daddy? Who is yo daddy!? oh ho ho I love you so much. Details. I love details!
Miles: No!
Jack:What?
Miles:It's private.
Jack:You're kidding, right? Tell me what happened, you fucker, or I'll tie your dick in a knot.
Miles:Lets leave it alone.
Jack:You didn't get any, did you? You're a homo.
Cammi: And here are your handy wipes.
Jack: Oh, so that's what these are. For a minute there I thought you guys were promoting safe sex.
Miles: Explain the situation? Yes. 'Excuse me, sir, my friend was the one balling your wife couple of hours ago. Really sorry. He seems to have left his wallet behind. I was wondering if I come in, just poke around, I don't know'
Jack: Yeah, yeah, just like that. That's good.
Jack: If they want to drink Merlot, we're drinking Merlot.
Miles: No, if anyone orders Merlot, I'm leaving. I am NOT drinking any fucking Merlot!!!
Jack: There's my boy!! There he is! But who is your daddy? Who is yo daddy!? oh ho ho I love you so much. Details. I love details!
Miles: No!
Jack:What?
Miles:It's private.
Jack:You're kidding, right? Tell me what happened, you fucker, or I'll tie your dick in a knot.
Miles:Lets leave it alone.
Jack:You didn't get any, did you? You're a homo.
Cammi: And here are your handy wipes.
Jack: Oh, so that's what these are. For a minute there I thought you guys were promoting safe sex.
Miles: Explain the situation? Yes. 'Excuse me, sir, my friend was the one balling your wife couple of hours ago. Really sorry. He seems to have left his wallet behind. I was wondering if I come in, just poke around, I don't know'
Jack: Yeah, yeah, just like that. That's good.
Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious...
Dr. Rumack: I am serious, and don't call me Shirley. :rofl:
or.....
Steve McCroskey: Jacobs, I want to know absolutely everything that's happened up 'till now.
Jacobs: Well, let's see: First the earth cooled. And, then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died, and they turned into oil. And, then the Arabs came and they bought Mercedes Benzes. And, Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di's clothes. I couldn't believe it, he took her best summer dress out of the closet, and put it on, and went to town.
or.....
Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
Who doesn't LOVE the Airplane movies?!!? :1orglaugh
Dr. Rumack: I am serious, and don't call me Shirley. :rofl:
or.....
Steve McCroskey: Jacobs, I want to know absolutely everything that's happened up 'till now.
Jacobs: Well, let's see: First the earth cooled. And, then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died, and they turned into oil. And, then the Arabs came and they bought Mercedes Benzes. And, Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di's clothes. I couldn't believe it, he took her best summer dress out of the closet, and put it on, and went to town.
or.....
Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
Who doesn't LOVE the Airplane movies?!!? :1orglaugh
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Ferris: Hey, Cameron. You realize if we played by the rules right now we'd be in gym? hehehe
Bueller?... Bueller?... Bueller?
I heard that you were feeling ill. Headache, fever, and a chill. I came to help restore your pluck, cause I'm the nurse who likes to...
Ed Rooney: I'm very sorry, Mr. Peterson...
Cameron: [disguised voice] Call me sir! Goddamn it!
Ferris: Hey, Cameron. You realize if we played by the rules right now we'd be in gym? hehehe
Bueller?... Bueller?... Bueller?
I heard that you were feeling ill. Headache, fever, and a chill. I came to help restore your pluck, cause I'm the nurse who likes to...
Ed Rooney: I'm very sorry, Mr. Peterson...
Cameron: [disguised voice] Call me sir! Goddamn it!
This is a great one that not too many people have seen "Fear of a Black Hat" Think Spinal Tap but with late 80s early 90s rap music
Do I look like the kind of n*&^% that could kill a whole bunch white people?
I mean with a reason, but not on a humbug
When you ride that train, you get there
Another great one with tons of quotes is Better Off Dead
Shame for folks to be throwing away a perfectly good white boy like that
Do I look like the kind of n*&^% that could kill a whole bunch white people?
I mean with a reason, but not on a humbug
When you ride that train, you get there
Another great one with tons of quotes is Better Off Dead
Shame for folks to be throwing away a perfectly good white boy like that
Elwood: It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, a half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it !
Jake: Hit it !
I have a frush. What the fuck is a frush?!
Gary Johnston (Trey Parker) from Team America: World Police
"We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!"
"We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!"
dirty harry
Harry Callahan: Well, when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard. That's my policy.
The Mayor: Intent? How did you establish that?
Harry Callahan: When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher's knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross!
[walks out of the room]
The Mayor: He's got a point.
Harry Callahan: I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?
Magnum Force
Harry Callahan: You know those guys?
Early Smith: They came through the Academy after me. They stick together like flypaper, you know? Everybody thought they were queer for each other.
Harry Callahan: Tell you something. If the rest of you could shoot like them, I wouldn't care if the whole damn department was queer.
Lieutenant Briggs: Suppose they panic and start shooting?
Harry Callahan: Nothing wrong with shooting as long as the right people get shot!
Sudden Impact
Harry Callahan: Listen, punk. To me you're nothin' but dogshit, you understand? And a lot of things can happen to dogshit. It can be scraped up with a shovel off the ground. It can dry up and blow away in the wind. Or it can be stepped on and squashed. So take my advice and be careful where the dog shits ya!
Harry Callahan: We're not just going to let you walk out of here.
Crook: Who's "we", sucker?
Harry Callahan: Smith, and Wesson, and me.
[Horace King Fires two shotgun blasts a the target.]
Harry Callahan: Not bad.
Horace King: Not bad, my ass! You've got to strain the remains for the fingerprints.
Harry Callahan: Well, this is the .44 Magnum Auto-Mag and it hold a 300-grain cartridge. And, if properly used, it can remove the fingerprints.
Harry Callahan: Well, when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard. That's my policy.
The Mayor: Intent? How did you establish that?
Harry Callahan: When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher's knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross!
[walks out of the room]
The Mayor: He's got a point.
Harry Callahan: I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?
Magnum Force
Harry Callahan: You know those guys?
Early Smith: They came through the Academy after me. They stick together like flypaper, you know? Everybody thought they were queer for each other.
Harry Callahan: Tell you something. If the rest of you could shoot like them, I wouldn't care if the whole damn department was queer.
Lieutenant Briggs: Suppose they panic and start shooting?
Harry Callahan: Nothing wrong with shooting as long as the right people get shot!
Sudden Impact
Harry Callahan: Listen, punk. To me you're nothin' but dogshit, you understand? And a lot of things can happen to dogshit. It can be scraped up with a shovel off the ground. It can dry up and blow away in the wind. Or it can be stepped on and squashed. So take my advice and be careful where the dog shits ya!
Harry Callahan: We're not just going to let you walk out of here.
Crook: Who's "we", sucker?
Harry Callahan: Smith, and Wesson, and me.
[Horace King Fires two shotgun blasts a the target.]
Harry Callahan: Not bad.
Horace King: Not bad, my ass! You've got to strain the remains for the fingerprints.
Harry Callahan: Well, this is the .44 Magnum Auto-Mag and it hold a 300-grain cartridge. And, if properly used, it can remove the fingerprints.
icerfan
Nikkala made me do it!
Slap Shot
Jim: What is high-sticking?
Denis: High-sticking happen when the guy take the stick, you know, and he go like that. You don't do that. Oh, no. Never, never.
Jim: Why not?
Denis: Against the rules. You stupid when you do that, some English pig with no brains
Jim: Denis, what is slashing?
Denis: Slashing is like that, you know?
Jim: Mm-hm. And there's a penalty for that?
Denis Yeah. And for trip also, you know. Like that. And for hook like this. And for spear, you know, like that. All bad. You do that, you go to the box, you know. Two minutes by yourself, and you feel shame, you know. And then you get free.
Jim: The Chiefs are at home against Hyannisport at the War Memorial at eight. Good seats are still available.
Jim: What is high-sticking?
Denis: High-sticking happen when the guy take the stick, you know, and he go like that. You don't do that. Oh, no. Never, never.
Jim: Why not?
Denis: Against the rules. You stupid when you do that, some English pig with no brains
Jim: Denis, what is slashing?
Denis: Slashing is like that, you know?
Jim: Mm-hm. And there's a penalty for that?
Denis Yeah. And for trip also, you know. Like that. And for hook like this. And for spear, you know, like that. All bad. You do that, you go to the box, you know. Two minutes by yourself, and you feel shame, you know. And then you get free.
Jim: The Chiefs are at home against Hyannisport at the War Memorial at eight. Good seats are still available.
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