Alright. Here's the mission, should you choose to accept it. You put a Mac Pro (the new one that'll be out in a couple of months - that fine, sexy piece of high tech nerd porn) on your wishlist. Then me and two or three of my best aliases will come on here
(Will E. Worm, Baconsalt, Roald, Bree Olsen - yeah, I bet you didn't know I was her too!) and talk about how we all bought you a computer a year or two back and you would not stop sending nude pics and planning weekends getaways with us. Every day, all these wild & crazy displays of affection. Our gifts turned you into everyman's dream. And the line will be set. Now, that should net
us (
) at least 4 of those Star Wars super computers. Send one to me,
your partner in crime, keep one for yourself and sell the other two. Hey, that's just how I feel about you - you go ahead and keep
all the money from the two you sell. But I need mine sent to a warehouse address in the name of John Doe Smith.
OK, so you're probably saying to yourself, "but what if we get caught???!!!" First of all, unless you have a mouse in your pocket, there is no "we", toots! Ah shit, wait! That sounds harsh. Uh... what I meant was, there's like less than a 51% chance that
we would get caught and less than a 90% chance that
you'd actually go to prison. But just in case, while you were in jail, what would I be doing? Bri! Do you even have to ask? I'm there for you, babe... like always. Who's your buddy? Who's your pal? Huh? Huh? Watering your plants, feeding your cat, downloading illegal software on the computer that's still hooked up on your account - just doin' the things that a friend does for a friend in need.
So, we got a deal, right? Come on. I'll buy you lunch at Sweetie Pie's and introduce you to Lil Charles if you join "the team".