Random Statement Thread II

[Bonezstorm]

Suck my motherfucking cock

 

[The Yak]

I wept without shame when Cortana died.

 

[The Yak]

I'd give up every weapon I own for one more mission with that shitty old rifle.

 

[The Yak]

Today, for the first time in my life, I had a bowel movement the volume of which was too great to be eliminated by a single flush. I had to employ a subsequent flush. This has me deeply concerned.

 

[The Yak]

I recently began mailing my armpit hair to strangers.

 

[Supafly]

I am in the process of cooking cabbage stew

 

[maildude]

Why do Amazon drivers park on the wrong side of the road?

 

[Supafly]

Because Bezos bought all the roads

 

[The Yak]

 

[The Yak]

I know what it's like to be swollen and hard, Richard.

 

[The Yak]

The man who tried to put a rubber fist in my anus was a homosexual?

 

[The Yak]

 

[The Yak]

We need harsher penalties for those who expose themselves to toll booth operators.

 

[The Yak]

What kind of joyless golem serves soup in a Greenroom?

 

[The Yak]

There is literally no reason to ever set foot in a Kinko's.

 

[The Yak]

I find red clam chowder deeply unsettling.

 

[The Yak]

A man claiming to be Tim Tebow broke into my house yesterday. He had sex with my sofa cushions and then ran out of the house while waving his penis around and shouting obscenities.

It happened again.

 

[The Yak]

It is normal for stool to contain a small amount of mucus, but visible mucus may indicate underlying disease.

 

[HeartBroker]

OMG
No.
Fucking.
Way.

 

[The Yak]

I recently tried some Delta-8 THC gummies. Very nice. I advocate their use.