Random Statement Thread II

[Bonezstorm]

Hey there. Did I miss something?

 

[The Yak]

I have just come from the liquor store (In North Carolina, all spirituous liquor is sold in state-run stores) and the store mandates that one be wearing a mask before they are allowed to enter due to the pandemic. This got me wondering how many under-age individuals have attempted to buy alcohol, counting on the mask to hide their youthful appearance.

 

[Bonezstorm]

I've seen my first anime in years. "Overlord" on Prime.

 

[Alessandro]

The Coronavirus Can't Stop America's Nukes

 

[Bonezstorm]

The Coronavirus Can't Stop America's Nukes

But the people controlling it

 

[The Yak]

I spit in your cuttlefish bisque!

 

[The Yak]

Why didn't you tell me about the wanking off bit?

 

[Bonezstorm]

You. All. Have fucked.

 

[The Yak]

I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY PUT THE FUCKING SKIN ON!!!!

 

[The Yak]

Hiding a person's anti-psychotic medication is only funny until someone gets hurt.

 

[The Yak]

I'm going to go microwave a bagel and have sex with it.

 

[The Yak]

That man tried to assault me with a fish!!

 

[Supafly]

Face down, ass up, that's the way we love to fuck

 

[Bonezstorm]

"Dental plan!" - "Lisa needs braces!" - "Dental plan!" - "Lisa needs braces!" - "Dental plan!" - "Lisa needs braces!" - "Dental plan!" - "Lisa needs braces!" - "Dental plan!" - "Lisa needs braces!" - "Dental plan!" - "Lisa needs braces!" - "Dental plan!" - "Lisa needs braces!" -

 

[Supafly]

Yesterday a colleague tld me she has colon cancer. I wish she had not proceeded to tell me the detail about her spincter that needs an o.p.

Now I can't bring myself to fantasize about anal sex anymore

 

[Bonezstorm]

The whole world waits for a vaccine. I am still waiting for a vaccine against assholes.

 

[HeartBroker]

And then...
He was gone...

Poof !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[The Yak]

Is it wrong to masturbate while wearing socks?

 

[The Yak]

 

[The Yak]

I try very hard never to have a bowel movement while at work. It makes me very uncomfortable. However, sometimes the decision is taken out of one's hands and we must do what is necessary. Today was such a day. It's a surreal experience to be expelling feces while listening to two strangers at the urinals talk about a vacation one of them is taking to the beach while separated by nothing more than a stall door.

It was while overhearing this conversation that the individual going to the beach mentioned that his daughter is a teenager and I couldn't stop myself from wondering if she was hot. I contemplated her young female body while I filled the bathroom with the smell of human waste. It then occurred to me that his daughter is almost certainly underage and I was thinking of doing the things I was thinking of doing with her. Then again, she could be 18 and still be a teenager. On the other hand, if she was 18 why would she still be going on vacation with her parents? If she were 18, she could instead go on vacations with me. Except that she and I have never met and she likely would not willingly associate with the sort of person who could produce the kind of smells that her father was smelling at that time and not mentioning it out of saintly politeness. It probably wouldn't work out. It probably wouldn't work out with that guys outrageously hot teenage daughter or even with that obese woman with the unsightly goiter on her neck who works in the small office not far from the elevators. It won't work out with any woman because I'm a cynical, embittered, misanthropic drunk with a pedestrian job whose action figure collection is "creepy". It was at this moment that the weight of existence overcame me and I broke down in tears because I will always be alone.

I hate shitting at work.

This feels like it happened in another lifetime to someone else.