It's not about respect, but impression (2/2)
My mother brainwashed me that women don't like sex and countless other things, things that took my wife years to fully purge (and a few things she's still purging).
By age 15, I eventually had to tune my mother out, because it didn't matter what I actually did, she assumed otherwise.
And no, I didn't give her the joy of me doing anything "out of spite" -- that's why I never drank, did drugs and kept my member out of woman's apex.
Those were my values, and it didn't matter what pressure, guilt, etc... I had, I never, ever did anything out of spite, rebellion or otherwise.
I realized from age 15 on-ward that my values were things I had to live with, and deal with the consequences, and not my mother, friends, etc...
But make no mistake, I love to lay a woman down and take advantage of her body -- I love her hourglass, her hips, her breasts, the wider and more extreme, the better.
I will never apologize for it, I will always lust for the female form, I will use my manhood to "spear" a woman deep, and I will cup, suck and otherwise over-fondle her breasts.
I am a man, and with any consenting lover, I am fully entitled to do anything and everything I want to do, and I'm sure my mother would be utterly disgusted.
Just because I don't say or think "I want to fuck her tits" doesn't mean I actually do that exact same thing as another man who does.
I realized that I really didn't want to turn to my mother and say, "hey, I fucked her big tits, it was good and I treated them as a sexual object."
Why didn't I? Because that wasn't what it was about, it was about my pleasure, and the intimacy I just shared, something my mother wouldn't understand.
Unless, of course, she prompted it, and then you are actually talking about the breasts.
But it really has nothing to do with "disrespect" in my opinion or some "judgement" value, or other "value."
To me, it has far more to do with how the woman will remember me, the next time she goes to speak or otherwise engage me.
If she doesn't have to worry I'll be distracted, she's more likely to come to me with a professional or other discussion.
And if she is actually bothered that I haven't stared, then she will eventually just ask, and then that's my opening for my selfish lust.
Frankly, if people like staring at breasts, then they should do it, and just accept it, and be honest.
Women would much rather accept a man who is honest and forward about his lust than one who tries to hide their continual distraction, especially if they are not good at it.
Be honest, be yourself, don't hide who you really are, and if that means you are eyes-on every ounce of cleavage, just do it and don't lie about it.
Know thyself.
Mine approach has nothing to do with "respect" or "self-control" or anything else, but just how I want to interact.
I do this to my advantage, professionally, socially and even sexually (if the woman so prompts later).
I'm a male pig, I just leave it out of my mind until it is prompted, and then I don't "candy coat it" or attempt to be "respectable."
My values have been virtually locked on this since 15 -- I'd rather explain later than explain after a first impression.
At the same time, many women don't want a man who is "prissy" or won't open up sexually, and so you can't go over-board.
1. Wait for her to prompt it
2. Know your audience
3. Always treat her like a lady, even when she prompts it
Learning to channel your lust into words that are not cliche, all-too-common or otherwise unoriginal can let you be very lustful with a woman.
There are too many women on this planet that sport the best features of my wife, and I'm not denying myself, especially since I'm on-the-road away from my wife.
But no way am I screwing up the best culmination of woman in my wife, and that means ...
A) Women people know I'm happily married, I don't hide it at all
B) Women know I'm not hitting on them at all
C) Women know I treat women like ladies at all times
D) Women know why I love women like my wife
E) Women know I not only love, but lust for my wife heavily
How detailed a woman engages me on those details is up to her, and I leave it to her to prompt and directly ask why, and what makes me tick.
Tell me how you feel after you are married 10, 20, etc... years.
After over 10 years of marriage, I can tell you one thing ...
No one gets looks from me like my wife does, and no other woman is worth looking at even remotely the same.
At the same time, if a co-worker or employee at a client doesn't stop asking, she'll get the honest truth.
Especially if she's under-appreciated, or if someone said something in front or even to her that was quite insulting of her.
Most of the time, it's not really a woman who has the conversation with me, but something she eventually heard.
Men will be me, and being a consultant, I have to watch what I say, so I usually ignore most of the "lust discussions."
But when men won't shut-up and are bothered by the fact that A) I don't drink and B) I don't join them in their "lust talk," I finally have to say something.
It's typically the, "you must be gay" type of comment or "you must think your wife is the only woman in the world."
And I'll typically respond with, "well, maybe you guys just haven't hit on a woman I like yet."
And after the few "oh sures" and countless other comments, I'll findly say, "well, if you said Queen Latifah, that might open up the conversation."
Now at that point, it gets "interesting" and people usually leave it for a bit.
But it's not very long before both other men and, not coincidentally, women even come over and bring it up again.
Depending on the setting, and if it's more social, I can easily go into women from Monica Lewinski (especially if someone gets on the "taboo" of mentioning Queen Latifah)
to Tocarra Jones to Kate Dillon to models like Yoko Matsugane, and eventually even '80s playmates like Patricia Farinelli.
Especially since I'm white, and I work with a lot of foreigners as well as a number of African Americans at times.
As far as myself, if my wife lusts for another man, so be it -- if she could have him, I'd love her enough to allow him in the bedroom.
I thank God every day that my wife seems to only want me, so if she comments about another man, I don't have a problem.
In fact, she's a lot like me, she'll say something like, "he has your devilish smirk" or even something like (of a fit man):
"We're you that tight and bulging when you were in shape?"
If I have a problem with it, then that's really a problem I have, not her, as I should be sound enough in my relationship to discuss it with my wife, not accuse my wife of something.
And that's something she didn't intend at all, which is more about me making a "big deal" about it instead of just taking it at face value."
My relationship isn't about rules and wrongs, my relationship is about love and a massive helping of raw lust.
I'm not "containing" my lust, it's a main reason why I want to "spear" and "ram" my wife, and not any other woman on the planet.
And she gets off knowing that and that honesty, not just to her, but to myself, which is why she feels comfortable with me.
If I wanted insecurity, I wouldn't have married.
To be married, you have to drop insecurity.
And so was I virtually (my father worked a lot), but sometimes women tend to remember the worst of men when raising boys.
My mother brainwashed me that women don't like sex and countless other things, things that took my wife years to fully purge (and a few things she's still purging).
By age 15, I eventually had to tune my mother out, because it didn't matter what I actually did, she assumed otherwise.
And no, I didn't give her the joy of me doing anything "out of spite" -- that's why I never drank, did drugs and kept my member out of woman's apex.
Those were my values, and it didn't matter what pressure, guilt, etc... I had, I never, ever did anything out of spite, rebellion or otherwise.
I realized from age 15 on-ward that my values were things I had to live with, and deal with the consequences, and not my mother, friends, etc...
But make no mistake, I love to lay a woman down and take advantage of her body -- I love her hourglass, her hips, her breasts, the wider and more extreme, the better.
I will never apologize for it, I will always lust for the female form, I will use my manhood to "spear" a woman deep, and I will cup, suck and otherwise over-fondle her breasts.
I am a man, and with any consenting lover, I am fully entitled to do anything and everything I want to do, and I'm sure my mother would be utterly disgusted.
Just because I don't say or think "I want to fuck her tits" doesn't mean I actually do that exact same thing as another man who does.
I realized that I really didn't want to turn to my mother and say, "hey, I fucked her big tits, it was good and I treated them as a sexual object."
Why didn't I? Because that wasn't what it was about, it was about my pleasure, and the intimacy I just shared, something my mother wouldn't understand.
Okay, agreed there -- it makes no sense to look at the breasts when talking to them.
Unless, of course, she prompted it, and then you are actually talking about the breasts.
But it really has nothing to do with "disrespect" in my opinion or some "judgement" value, or other "value."
To me, it has far more to do with how the woman will remember me, the next time she goes to speak or otherwise engage me.
If she doesn't have to worry I'll be distracted, she's more likely to come to me with a professional or other discussion.
And if she is actually bothered that I haven't stared, then she will eventually just ask, and then that's my opening for my selfish lust.
But what is "self-control"?
Frankly, if people like staring at breasts, then they should do it, and just accept it, and be honest.
Women would much rather accept a man who is honest and forward about his lust than one who tries to hide their continual distraction, especially if they are not good at it.
Be honest, be yourself, don't hide who you really are, and if that means you are eyes-on every ounce of cleavage, just do it and don't lie about it.
Know thyself.
Mine approach has nothing to do with "respect" or "self-control" or anything else, but just how I want to interact.
I do this to my advantage, professionally, socially and even sexually (if the woman so prompts later).
I'm a male pig, I just leave it out of my mind until it is prompted, and then I don't "candy coat it" or attempt to be "respectable."
My values have been virtually locked on this since 15 -- I'd rather explain later than explain after a first impression.
Exactly -- it's about how you make a woman feel comfortable with you, so she's likely to engage you again.
At the same time, many women don't want a man who is "prissy" or won't open up sexually, and so you can't go over-board.
1. Wait for her to prompt it
2. Know your audience
3. Always treat her like a lady, even when she prompts it
Learning to channel your lust into words that are not cliche, all-too-common or otherwise unoriginal can let you be very lustful with a woman.
Not!
There are too many women on this planet that sport the best features of my wife, and I'm not denying myself, especially since I'm on-the-road away from my wife.
But no way am I screwing up the best culmination of woman in my wife, and that means ...
A) Women people know I'm happily married, I don't hide it at all
B) Women know I'm not hitting on them at all
C) Women know I treat women like ladies at all times
D) Women know why I love women like my wife
E) Women know I not only love, but lust for my wife heavily
How detailed a woman engages me on those details is up to her, and I leave it to her to prompt and directly ask why, and what makes me tick.
Why?
Tell me how you feel after you are married 10, 20, etc... years.
After over 10 years of marriage, I can tell you one thing ...
No one gets looks from me like my wife does, and no other woman is worth looking at even remotely the same.
At the same time, if a co-worker or employee at a client doesn't stop asking, she'll get the honest truth.
Especially if she's under-appreciated, or if someone said something in front or even to her that was quite insulting of her.
Most of the time, it's not really a woman who has the conversation with me, but something she eventually heard.
Men will be me, and being a consultant, I have to watch what I say, so I usually ignore most of the "lust discussions."
But when men won't shut-up and are bothered by the fact that A) I don't drink and B) I don't join them in their "lust talk," I finally have to say something.
It's typically the, "you must be gay" type of comment or "you must think your wife is the only woman in the world."
And I'll typically respond with, "well, maybe you guys just haven't hit on a woman I like yet."
And after the few "oh sures" and countless other comments, I'll findly say, "well, if you said Queen Latifah, that might open up the conversation."
Now at that point, it gets "interesting" and people usually leave it for a bit.
But it's not very long before both other men and, not coincidentally, women even come over and bring it up again.
Depending on the setting, and if it's more social, I can easily go into women from Monica Lewinski (especially if someone gets on the "taboo" of mentioning Queen Latifah)
to Tocarra Jones to Kate Dillon to models like Yoko Matsugane, and eventually even '80s playmates like Patricia Farinelli.
Especially since I'm white, and I work with a lot of foreigners as well as a number of African Americans at times.
Well, that's your values and you should stick to them.
As far as myself, if my wife lusts for another man, so be it -- if she could have him, I'd love her enough to allow him in the bedroom.
I thank God every day that my wife seems to only want me, so if she comments about another man, I don't have a problem.
In fact, she's a lot like me, she'll say something like, "he has your devilish smirk" or even something like (of a fit man):
"We're you that tight and bulging when you were in shape?"
If I have a problem with it, then that's really a problem I have, not her, as I should be sound enough in my relationship to discuss it with my wife, not accuse my wife of something.
And that's something she didn't intend at all, which is more about me making a "big deal" about it instead of just taking it at face value."
My relationship isn't about rules and wrongs, my relationship is about love and a massive helping of raw lust.
I'm not "containing" my lust, it's a main reason why I want to "spear" and "ram" my wife, and not any other woman on the planet.
And she gets off knowing that and that honesty, not just to her, but to myself, which is why she feels comfortable with me.
If I wanted insecurity, I wouldn't have married.
To be married, you have to drop insecurity.
