Good News... Bad News...

[HeartBroker]

Bad News: It'll cost you more than it's worth to send it!

Good News: It's almost New Years!

 

[ArabJames]

bad news: u get into a crash on the way to a local bar

good news: ur still alive and not bleeding

 

[HeartBroker]

Bad News: You Missed the party!

Good News: There were a bunch of assholes there anyway!

 

[ArabJames]

bad news: they did get some action

good news: all the girls were completely infested with STDs....so u can keep your life

 

[HeartBroker]

Bad News: The one that wanted you was sweet and clean!

Good News: You're going to see her later!

 

[ArabJames]

bad news: u find out shes got a boyfriend

good news: he is outta town

 

[HeartBroker]

Bad News: He's coming back right about the time you and she are...

Good News: He's blind!

 

[tunsty]

Bad News: As in 'Blind' drunk...and extremely possessive

Good news: You took out a good health insurance policy.

 

[ArabJames]

bad news: he beat to the post

good news: the health policy is the best in the nation

 

[HeartBroker]

Bad News: You live in a shitty nation.

Good News: He passes out right before killing you!

 

[D-rock]

Bad News: You faint right after than and land on top of him in a very compromising manner. There are tabloid photographers there to capture the image forever.

Good News: You found a date for New Years Eve.

 

[HeartBroker]

Bad News: Its a sheep!

Good News: It's a very rich sheep!

 

[D-rock]

Bad News: It was rich in wool.

Good News: The sweetheart of your school years calls you up.

 

[Iamforever]

bad news- she has 8 kids and is addicted to tweek.


good news- you will never have to see her again.

 

[jibbijib]

Bad News: Sadly, because you've gone blind from frapping too much.


Good News: You just bought stocks in tissue paper.

 

[D-rock]

Bad News: After you invest your whole life savings in it they find out a bunch of poison ivy got accidentally thrown into the tissue making machinery.

Good News: You find a full bottle of beer while walking down the street.

 

[hedgehog]

Bad News: Full bottles of beer on the side of the street rarely contain beer and often contain a warm yellowish substance.

Good News: You sold your poison ivy tp stock before it tanked

 

[jibbijib]

Bad News: You're investigated for selling all your stocks in one shot, and sentanced to spend time with Martha Stewert.


Good News: Martha makes damn good food!

 

[Legzman]

Bad News: She rapes you in prison!

Good News: At least she wore a condom!

 

[hedgehog]

Bad News: It was on her tightly coiled fist

Good News: Constipation is no longer a problem