Good News... Bad News...

[D-rock]

Bad News: It's magazines that have already been “used” by guys and they just needed a place to dump a couple of million of them.

Good News: Your Christmas bonus from work was more than usual this year.

 

[hedgehog]

Bad News: The property taxes on your car/home ate it all up and then some

Good News: Your dating a super-hot accountant

 

[HeartBroker]

Bad News: She is a government informant!


Good News: Stinky feet are now a rich commodity!

 

[Legzman]

Bad News: You lost your feet in an auto accident.


Good News: You've just scored a date with your favorite porn star!

 

[HeartBroker]

Bad News: It's a snuff film!

Good News: She lets you live!

 

[D-rock]

Bad News: ...but she releases you in the middle of an African savanna.

Good News: You take a long walk under the stars.

 

[HeartBroker]

Bad News: You're lost in the middle of the worst part of town!


Good News: Page and Plant are playing at your birthday party!

 

[dreds99]

Bad News: Except it's Crazy-Eyes Page and Mumbles Plant, the two homeless crackheads from down the street.

Good News: The doctor says it's "just a rash"

 

[HeartBroker]

Bad News: It's fatal.

Good News: Drinks are on the house!

 

[D-rock]

Bad News: You can't climb up to the roof.

Good News: It's your birthday.

 

[HeartBroker]

Bad News: You didn't want another one!


Good News: Santa "Claws" is coming to town!

 

[tunsty]

Bad news: He put a ferret in your xmas stocking....yeeeoooww!

Good news: You got that christmas present you always wanted.

 

[HeartBroker]

Bad News: She doesn't like you!

Good News: Royal Flush!

 

[D-rock]

Bad News: That is a term people use to describe your life, not a hand you have in poker.

Good News: The people elect you mayor of the town.

 

[tunsty]

Bad news: it's a kiddies toytown.

Good news: You have been invited to the Beckhams new years eve party.

 

[HeartBroker]

Bad News: You're a waiter.

Good News: The wicked witch is dead!

 

[D-rock]

Bad News: She owed you a spell of your choice.

Good News: Your rich long lost brother just found you.

 

[hedgehog]

Bad News: That bastard is so tight you could shove a piece of coal in his ass and in a couple days you'd have a diamond...

Good News: Hey look you got a shiny (if slightly smelly) 3 carat diamond

 

[HeartBroker]

Bad News: Well, it smells!

Good News: You found a stinky person to sell it to!

 

[ArabJames]

bad news: they live in swaziland

good news: ups DOES do airmail