I assume that won't be your opening line on your next date.
GF just broke up with me.
- Thread starter lester08
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I assume that won't be your opening line on your next date.
not for the fly-half
DYLAN RYDER
Official Checked Star Member
No matter what any of us say, You will get over this in your own time. And after 8 years and no marriage, it is time to move on. I was in a relationship for that length of time and yes, people change and grow apart. It sucks, but just be strong. Do not ever say you will hurt yourself, cry your eyes ball out, but never hurt yourself! It is ok to cry, it is part of healing. Now, take a deep breath and seriously go somewhere have a great dinner, spend time with your buddies, play some games or just get a massage...RELAX. This is beyond you, you cannot force anything to happen, just live your life and make yourself happy!
Yeah, get a massage.
:1orglaugh
ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
Yeah, get a massage.
I think getting a message (the proper kind) is a great idea. Anything positive to relax.
There are few (if any) things in life that relaxation can't help.
I really fucked up. Spied on her and the new guy she's talking to (whom deep down i know she wouldn't go for) got in a big fight with her over the phone, the mom got on and cursed me out and threatened to call the cops if i went over the house.
I went to her house, she called the cops and if it wasn't for her dad being a nice guy (he told the cops that i'm not a bad kid and he didn't want to press charges just wanted me to go home) I'd be in jail right now. I got into her email accounts, changed her passwords and deleted about 8 years worth of personal emails from her. I have an arsenal of naked pics of her at my disposal (i shouldn't post this here since i know it can be used against me later on but idc).
My friend had to almost break my arm off, ripping a knife out of my arm last night, i was going to use it on myself... I acknowledge that I need help, i should have followed all of your suggestions and just left her alone. We probably would have gotten back together by December had I just calmed the fuck down.
I went to her house, she called the cops and if it wasn't for her dad being a nice guy (he told the cops that i'm not a bad kid and he didn't want to press charges just wanted me to go home) I'd be in jail right now. I got into her email accounts, changed her passwords and deleted about 8 years worth of personal emails from her. I have an arsenal of naked pics of her at my disposal (i shouldn't post this here since i know it can be used against me later on but idc).
My friend had to almost break my arm off, ripping a knife out of my arm last night, i was going to use it on myself... I acknowledge that I need help, i should have followed all of your suggestions and just left her alone. We probably would have gotten back together by December had I just calmed the fuck down.
Dude, you need to get over your EX ASAP. Call some friends and make plans to go out this weekend, or go out and do something constructive or bike ride somewhere, but keep your mind occupied and focus on yourself. It's obvious your ex-gf is already moving forward with her life and she is trying to avoid any drama without hurting your feelings by telling you what you want to hear when she says she's not "looking for anyone right now." The more you reminisce about your EX, the more apt you are likely to do something stupid that you will regret later.
First of all, this stalking shit has to stop! You are lucky her parents didn't file charges with the police. But also keep in mind that there is a police record on file of what happened at her house although no charges were made. Having said that, free your mind of this woman and get back on the saddle. Join a dating website. The more you occupy yourself, the easier it is to for you to move forward with your life. See my post above.
Good luck amigo.
ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
I know it's not easy being the one who is broken up with because you're not the one who has immediate closure with the seperation. You didn't want it to end, so it still hurts a lot. I understand that, we all do, but...you can't do shit like that. Seriously dude, no joking around...that was a fucking stupid move. I think you know that now though. Don't ever do it again.
First of all, going into her e-mail was also a fucking stupid move. I don't know the legality of it all, but I'm pretty sure that you're not allowed to do that. As far as the naked pictures go, please listen to me...
DESTROY THEM ALL
Keeping them around is only going to do two things. 1) It's going to make You Miss her even more because you'll just "think back" to how it used to be and 2) it's going to taunt you and give you thoughts of showing the pictures to other people or post them on the internet.
Don't be a scumbag dude. Showing other people her private pictures would just make you a complete asshole, not to mention, it would make you feel worse later on down the road. I know it hurts and you have some feeling that wants you to "get back at her", but be the bigger person here.
I told you before that I've been exactly where you are right now. I've been hurt by a girl, I've been consumed by suicidal thoughts, I've held a knife in my hand with every intention to rip myself apart. The only difference...I wasn't lucky enough to have a friend there to stop me. Don't be an idiot. Nothing good will come out of it. I just have a big ass scar on my wrist to tell the whole world what a jackass I am.
You even acknowledge that you need help, so...go get some. Talk to friends, family, your parents, psychologists, etc. Whatever you need to do, do it.
There's an old saying for situations like this...
"What doesn't kill you will make you stronger."
But, what you choose not to learn from your mistakes will haunt you for the rest of your life. Suck it up and deal with the heartbreak now or else it will snowball itself into a big clusterfuck of uncontrollable emotions for years to come. Trust me.
The more of this spying/calling her/going into her online accounts stuff you do; the more she will lose respect for and pity you (in a pathetic way), the more her new guy will laugh at you and the closer they'll get because of you (you scare/upset her, he comforts her and so on).
You are not the first person to do what you did and you won't be the last. But I have never heard of anyone who did it accomplishing anything other then making other people think you were nuts (though I don't think that of you...yet). And I cannot see an upside for you in continuing this course of action.
You are not the first person to do what you did and you won't be the last. But I have never heard of anyone who did it accomplishing anything other then making other people think you were nuts (though I don't think that of you...yet). And I cannot see an upside for you in continuing this course of action.
Dude, seriously you need to STOP all contact with her! NOW!
It can ONLY HURT YOU...
It's tough, but it WILL get easier... just try to stay busy and when you start thinking about her, go for a run, or work out, or cook dinner... anything!
It can ONLY HURT YOU...
It's tough, but it WILL get easier... just try to stay busy and when you start thinking about her, go for a run, or work out, or cook dinner... anything!
Yeah don't stalk her or spy on her. Aside from the legal ramifications (i.e. trespassing, stalking, harrasment charges), you dont need her new boyfriend getting into the mix, regardless of how you feel.
Jeaously can drive a man over the edge, I'm not saying you have to like that she has a new guy but you can only control what you can control. I agree with Chef above, hacking into email accounts is illegal and quite frankly its like playing with matches in a gas filled room, only bad things will happen. Naked pictures will only bum you out and will lead to a lawsuit if they ever get out. Its just not worth it.
What I can suggest is that you have to be confident in who you are which is tough for alot of men today (even myself on occassion). If you found a girl once, you will find another girl, and considering there are like 3 billion of them on the planet your odds aint too bad. Take this time to improve yourself, pick up a hobby and when you are ready you can find another girl who will treat you with respect.
Jeaously can drive a man over the edge, I'm not saying you have to like that she has a new guy but you can only control what you can control. I agree with Chef above, hacking into email accounts is illegal and quite frankly its like playing with matches in a gas filled room, only bad things will happen. Naked pictures will only bum you out and will lead to a lawsuit if they ever get out. Its just not worth it.
What I can suggest is that you have to be confident in who you are which is tough for alot of men today (even myself on occassion). If you found a girl once, you will find another girl, and considering there are like 3 billion of them on the planet your odds aint too bad. Take this time to improve yourself, pick up a hobby and when you are ready you can find another girl who will treat you with respect.
Ive definitely been here. Its total agony. You fall asleep thinking about her and what uv lost and you wake up thinking about it. It was always hard for me at my jobs because id just think about it all thru my shift. Having a broken heart is a sickening, unbearable pain man but it happens to everyone.
Off the top of my head this is the best way to go about a broken heart. Dont call, text, or email her at all. She needs space and itll only hurt both of you more. If you want things to be ok between the two of you in the future and possibly be friends you must give her space and respect how shes feeling. DO NOT look at her myspace or snoop around in anyway because it will be devastating if you find out shes moved on before you. Nothing worse than spending hours killing yourself with thoughts of another guys hands all over your ex. That pain and jealousy is unreal. Exercise. Try to go on a run every other day. Like someone said earlier its not so much for the run itself, but for the endorfins itll give you. Listen to some inspiring awesome music you love and take a nice run. Get all of your agression and despair out that way. Dont be afraid to cry. Sometimes crying will get it all out just like throwing up when uv drank too much. Talk to your mom about it. Or whatever parent your closest to. They know so well what ur feeling and can really help. Eat well. Write about it, get ur thoughts on paper. Realize that you could be worse off. You'r not a burn victim, you'r not an amputee, you'r not homeless.
a HUGE thing to realize is that you dont want to be the pathetic, psycho ex she tells all of her friends and new boyfriends about. You want to be the really amazing guy she spent 6 great years with and doesnt regret it one bit. If you really love her which story would you rather have be yours?
The truth is there is ALWAYS something better just around the corner. After i had my heart broken the first time i wouldve done ANYTHING to get her back.I even remember thinking how id rather smash all the bones in my hand than lose her. Ridiculous. At the time I thought that no girl could ever be better than her, but truth is now id gladly kick her to the curb for some of the girls iv been with since. Life always has something amazing, better, and surprisng just around the corner. Be grateful for the good times the two of you shared and move on to the next adventure. you were a special part of her life that very few people get to be and vice versa. If you are cool about it now and respect her choice then hopefully you guys will be friends in the future. For now its time for your next adventure.You can get thru this.
Off the top of my head this is the best way to go about a broken heart. Dont call, text, or email her at all. She needs space and itll only hurt both of you more. If you want things to be ok between the two of you in the future and possibly be friends you must give her space and respect how shes feeling. DO NOT look at her myspace or snoop around in anyway because it will be devastating if you find out shes moved on before you. Nothing worse than spending hours killing yourself with thoughts of another guys hands all over your ex. That pain and jealousy is unreal. Exercise. Try to go on a run every other day. Like someone said earlier its not so much for the run itself, but for the endorfins itll give you. Listen to some inspiring awesome music you love and take a nice run. Get all of your agression and despair out that way. Dont be afraid to cry. Sometimes crying will get it all out just like throwing up when uv drank too much. Talk to your mom about it. Or whatever parent your closest to. They know so well what ur feeling and can really help. Eat well. Write about it, get ur thoughts on paper. Realize that you could be worse off. You'r not a burn victim, you'r not an amputee, you'r not homeless.
a HUGE thing to realize is that you dont want to be the pathetic, psycho ex she tells all of her friends and new boyfriends about. You want to be the really amazing guy she spent 6 great years with and doesnt regret it one bit. If you really love her which story would you rather have be yours?
The truth is there is ALWAYS something better just around the corner. After i had my heart broken the first time i wouldve done ANYTHING to get her back.I even remember thinking how id rather smash all the bones in my hand than lose her. Ridiculous. At the time I thought that no girl could ever be better than her, but truth is now id gladly kick her to the curb for some of the girls iv been with since. Life always has something amazing, better, and surprisng just around the corner. Be grateful for the good times the two of you shared and move on to the next adventure. you were a special part of her life that very few people get to be and vice versa. If you are cool about it now and respect her choice then hopefully you guys will be friends in the future. For now its time for your next adventure.You can get thru this.
I'm not a slut. I'm an enthusiastic lover of men.
ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
My advice is get out in the world again, get some mates who are single too and hit every bar, pub and club there is. Get your rebound girl, have some fun, you'll be back on your feet in time. Killing yourself is not an option, no matter how much it hurts now you will get over her.
I have not done anything stupid since that day. It just sucks that she's with that guy 24-7 either in the game, on the phone, through IM, email, etc. all the time they are together. Riding his dick...hard, so to speak. (they have never met in person and live about 3,000 miles away. She broke up with me just 2 weeks ago, I think that's a really short time to get over someone whom you have been with for that many years...I'm pissed and hurt but I didn't flip out like last time.
She told me that she doesn't want to be my friend (much less get back with me) since she is scared (terrified) of me. Stupid question but is there any way to make someone NOT be scared of you...?
(another thing, I have not read her emails since that day but I noticed that she never deletes any of the emails that I send her, i there any significance to this?)
I'm going to avoid making contact to prove to her that I can excercise restraint and self-control. I really think that if I did the things that I promised (finishing school, getting her a ring and going to therapy for my anger issues) I got a shot (as long as the her being scared of me part is taken out of the equation).
She told me that she doesn't want to be my friend (much less get back with me) since she is scared (terrified) of me. Stupid question but is there any way to make someone NOT be scared of you...?
(another thing, I have not read her emails since that day but I noticed that she never deletes any of the emails that I send her, i there any significance to this?)
I'm going to avoid making contact to prove to her that I can excercise restraint and self-control. I really think that if I did the things that I promised (finishing school, getting her a ring and going to therapy for my anger issues) I got a shot (as long as the her being scared of me part is taken out of the equation).
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