Eric Lindros
#88
Good luck and take care.
Pain heals.....
Pain heals.....
GF just broke up with me.
- Thread starter lester08
- Start date
Because you had a very strong bonds in hearts and 8 years is enough long period for this. I have never had a stuff like this but i can quite imagine the situation.
All i can say "Good luck for the rest of your life.". If she really loves you, she will be back to you in some day. Sometimes, love loses the thrill, passion both temporarily and permanently. I hope it's temporary.
You better try to upgrade your living standards too. :2 cents: That will help a lot.
The worst part is that we were each other's "first" (insert more loser comments here) We got together when we were both 18, we're 26 now.
Damn dude....you are so young! Believe me, crap from your early to mid 20's will seem soooooooo insignificant in a few years. I'm 40 and ahhhhhhhhh errrr shit I drink way to much and I'm bitter as hell so maybe you shouldn't be taking advice from me.
wow i was just talking to my x of a long time ago about this same thing, we have become great friends and now we tell each other what happened to us years ago, i recently explained to her how i sat in my room with my handgun in my lap contemplating what i should do, she was pretty taken by it (this happened about 10 years ago) she didnt realize to just of late how bad it hurt me back then..........
anyways enough of that, i remember spending alot of time with my family and friends, they made a point of it to keep me busy, i worked extra to make a little extra cash then i got out of town for a week, went and saw a friend of mine in another state, we hung out, cooked some good food and had some beers, when i came back i spent alot of time with my dad, did some fishing, and worked on projects around the house together.......just kept my mind busy, it worked for me.
haha my x and i want to hook up again for old time sake....
good luck bro, things will work out, keep your mind busy and let some time pass, you will be ok!!!!!
anyways enough of that, i remember spending alot of time with my family and friends, they made a point of it to keep me busy, i worked extra to make a little extra cash then i got out of town for a week, went and saw a friend of mine in another state, we hung out, cooked some good food and had some beers, when i came back i spent alot of time with my dad, did some fishing, and worked on projects around the house together.......just kept my mind busy, it worked for me.
haha my x and i want to hook up again for old time sake....
good luck bro, things will work out, keep your mind busy and let some time pass, you will be ok!!!!!
I'm sorry to hear about your situation, but you should re-read what you wrote in the second paragraph of your post and thank the lucky stars you are not with that bitch any longer. How come you haven't asked her to marry you after 8 years?
I'm sorry I'm being blunt, but what you need to do now is to forget her ass and go on the prowl again. The sooner the better. You shouldn't drown yourself in self pity, believe me it's not worth it. . . and she's not worth it. Just pick yourself up and you will quickly realize that there are plenty of fish in the sea.
How adept are you at fishing?
:2 cents:
ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
Every single person who has ever walked the face of this earth has suicidal thoughts at some point in their life (even though most will deny it). Just don't actually go through with it. Yes, it sucks right now, but trust me...it gets better. It doesn't seem like it will, but it will.
I've been exactly where you are and I didn't handle things the way I should have. I let the suicidal thoughts get to me, and I'm only saying this for your benefit (even though it's something I'm not that proud of), but I actually tried to kill myself once because a girl broke my heart. It seemed like a really good idea until I saw the blood pouring out of my wrist. It wasn't until that moment that I realized how stupid I was being. I was going to kill myself because some stupid bitch didn't respect my emotions? How dumb is that, you know? Now, I'm just left with a scar to remind me not to do it again.
The worst part is that we were each other's "first" (insert more loser comments here
There's nothing "loserish" about that. I'm 26 years old myself and I've only had one serious girlfriend before. Anyone who thinks that I'm a loser because of that can go fuck themselves.
Plus, I don't drink alocohol at all (or do any other drugs) so i'm pretty much screwed in the "Drowning your sorrows" part.
You're lucky. Speaking from personal experience...
I lost the love of my life to some serious bullshit a few years ago and I did nothing but try and drink the pain away. Yeeeeeah, it doesn't work. I mean, sure, it helps for a few hours, but ironically, the first thought you have in the morning is how bad everything still sucks. You'll just end up ruining your own life if you try and "drown your sorrows"...trust me.
My advice is to just take some time to yourself. Losing someone sucks, but just do your best to spin it around and make it as positive of a situation as you can. Think of it this way...now you have more time to do what you want to do and you'll have more money to spend on yourself now. And that, my friend, is awesome.
i've just stumbled across this thread. My girlfrieand of 5 years broke up with me 3 months ago. she never wanted to go out or do anything, no matter what i tried or suggested, then then dumps me 'cause we are boring ! it wasn't even a lame excuse for her finding someone else.
all i can say is just hang on in there, yes it still hurts after 3 months it probly will next month, but time will heal and there will be someone else. i look at it like this i will meet someonebetter than her who loves me more than she did but she will never meet anyone who loves her as much as i did she will go thruogh life with second best.
finally i've seen talk about suicide,i admit i have thought about it but its just not worth it, yes it stops the pain. but you don't get to enjoy life afterwards. i've seen a lot of piontless deaths in my job and it is never ever a good way of dealing with lifes problems.
all i can say is just hang on in there, yes it still hurts after 3 months it probly will next month, but time will heal and there will be someone else. i look at it like this i will meet someonebetter than her who loves me more than she did but she will never meet anyone who loves her as much as i did she will go thruogh life with second best.
finally i've seen talk about suicide,i admit i have thought about it but its just not worth it, yes it stops the pain. but you don't get to enjoy life afterwards. i've seen a lot of piontless deaths in my job and it is never ever a good way of dealing with lifes problems.
yeah getting "dumped" usually sucks (the rare occassion where you want her to do it notwithstanding). Unfortunately only time will ease that wound, but it will never quite go away, especially if you really cared about the person.
As tough as it is, in the long run you are better that she finally came clean and said she didn't love you versus staying in a relationship that she doesnt want to be in as that will only lead her to cheat on you. Getting dumped is much better than getting cheated on then having to dump her.
You will have some drinking and sulking time but as stated above it is important to exercise, pick up a hobby, etc. to focus your energy and thoughts. Also after a long relationship I beleive it is important to stay single a while to "re-discover" your individuality and how you have changed. Rebound relationships ultimately will be unfulfilling and just cause you more grief.
As tough as it is, in the long run you are better that she finally came clean and said she didn't love you versus staying in a relationship that she doesnt want to be in as that will only lead her to cheat on you. Getting dumped is much better than getting cheated on then having to dump her.
You will have some drinking and sulking time but as stated above it is important to exercise, pick up a hobby, etc. to focus your energy and thoughts. Also after a long relationship I beleive it is important to stay single a while to "re-discover" your individuality and how you have changed. Rebound relationships ultimately will be unfulfilling and just cause you more grief.
Great post.
Keep looking forward. Run, run fast before she tries to reconcile. Right now you're weak and your resistance is low.
Agree... better to find out now than later.
Nothing anyone can say will ease the pain you're feeling now. But take it from many of us who have gone through the exact same thing that you WILL get through it, life WILL go on, and although you may not believe it, this experience WILL make you stronger in the long run if you learn from it and take this time to work on YOU instead of fixating on her.
Take care and stay busy... it only gets better :thumbsup:
the biggest thing is to realize you're gonna get over this. it may seem like you cant see an inch in front of your face and cant think of anything else, but in 6 months or a year, You Might be completely over it, but you'll have forgot how preoccupied you were. a girlfriend of two years dumped me - the only girl i ever "let go" and mentally committed to, and for two months i drank myself into oblivion every chance i got it.
what saved me? i realized that there were things i had always wanted to do in life... and i put $2000 on my credit card to join an ice hockey team and get all the pads and gear. then i joined a rock climbing gym and bought the shoes and gear.... these were the best decisions i ever made. that bitch never let me have time away to do what i really wanted to do... needed to do to feel complete in life. that $500/wk is just for you now - if you have some decent credit, spend a little dough on a card and remind yourself that life can be exciting and interesting. do what you always wanted to do... it may seem like you're pretending at first, but if you fill your free time with fun things eventually you'll actually feel fun - plus you'll put time, mental distance, and experiences between you and the ex. if you're in new england, let me know, maybe we'll go camping.
what saved me? i realized that there were things i had always wanted to do in life... and i put $2000 on my credit card to join an ice hockey team and get all the pads and gear. then i joined a rock climbing gym and bought the shoes and gear.... these were the best decisions i ever made. that bitch never let me have time away to do what i really wanted to do... needed to do to feel complete in life. that $500/wk is just for you now - if you have some decent credit, spend a little dough on a card and remind yourself that life can be exciting and interesting. do what you always wanted to do... it may seem like you're pretending at first, but if you fill your free time with fun things eventually you'll actually feel fun - plus you'll put time, mental distance, and experiences between you and the ex. if you're in new england, let me know, maybe we'll go camping.
Thanks for all the great posts everyone.
I'm applying for another job that pays around $500/week (thats $15/hour; the same that I make now, after taxes) so i'd work 80 hours/week and I'm going to try to work out as well in my free time. I'm 5'9'', 185 pounds, not fat but I could stand to lose some weight (or put on some muscle mass).
What do you guys think about me working an additional job and working out? (pretty much to get my mind off of her and make some extra cash on the side; not to mention being in shape) Is that over-doing it?
I'm applying for another job that pays around $500/week (thats $15/hour; the same that I make now, after taxes) so i'd work 80 hours/week and I'm going to try to work out as well in my free time. I'm 5'9'', 185 pounds, not fat but I could stand to lose some weight (or put on some muscle mass).
What do you guys think about me working an additional job and working out? (pretty much to get my mind off of her and make some extra cash on the side; not to mention being in shape) Is that over-doing it?
ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
Dude, if you've never worked 80 hours in a week before, please, please, please listen to me...
EASE YOURSELF INTO IT.
Jumping right into 80 hour weeks was one of the worst possible choices that I've ever made. Yes, it isn't as bad as it sounds, but seriously, it fucking sucks and you shouldn't expect it to be a cake walk.
But, go for it. Keep yourself busy so you don't do something stupid.
She's not worth it.
I would LOVE to make $500/week.
I can't get by on my looks. :crying:
I would LOVE to make $500/week.
I can't get by on my looks. :crying:
I think it is, but if you fine with it that is really all that matters. I've been working out for almost 17 years and sometimes it feels like a 2nd job, no way I could add another 40 hours of work.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation, but you should re-read what you wrote in the second paragraph of your post and thank the lucky stars you are not with that bitch any longer. How come you haven't asked her to marry you after 8 years?
I'm sorry I'm being blunt, but what you need to do now is to forget her ass and go on the prowl again. The sooner the better. You shouldn't drown yourself in self pity, believe me it's not worth it. . . and she's not worth it. Just pick yourself up and you will quickly realize that there are plenty of fish in the sea.
How adept are you at fishing?
:2 cents:
I just read your post now. This may sound weird but I actually don't believe in marriage. Thats one of the underlying reasons why she "fell out of love with me", because I haven't proposed after all this time. To make her happy I would do it though, i'm just a procrastinator.
She actually "broke down" my salary: after taxes per month is $2,000---> $600 rent (my half), $120 electric (my half), $270 car payment, $180 car insurance, $120 cable/internet/phone, $200 gas, $300 groceries...leaves me with around $200 per month which goes straight into saving but that sucks
I don't believe in marriage either. But you and I are in the minority.
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