This one is dedicated to Freeones!
[During sex]
Ashtray: Oooh, girl, you so tight!
Dashiki: Wrong hole, fool!
Don't be a menace has loads of funny quotes that I love!
[during job interview]
Recruiter: Well, I see your hobbies include "drinkin', smokin' weed, and all kinds of ill shit."
[while filling out job application]
Loc Dog: Name: Loc Dog, baby. Height: Six-deuce! Age: 19. Father's name: mmm... I dunno. Sex: hell yeah, *****! Salary desired: 3 million dollars! Cash!
Ashtray: Hey, Preach, what up *****?
Preach: Y'all need to stop using the word *****. You see, it's terms like the word ***** that the white man uses to take away the self esteem of another race.
Ashtray: Word.
Preach: Oh yeah, remind me to pick my laundry up from that chink motherfucker up the street.
Preach: I'm just tryin' to do to white girls what the white man's been doin' to us for 400 years.
Crazy Legs: Yeah, what's that?
Preach: Fuck 'em.
[Ashtray gets arrested by a black cop]
Ashtray: We didn't even do nothing.
Officer Self Hatred: What? You think you tough?
[pulls gun on Ashtray]
Officer Self Hatred: You ain't so tough now, little *****. I hate your black bastards, you *stink*! I hate your black skin. I hate your black pants. I hate black pepper. I hate black keys on a piano. I hate my gums, because they're black. I hate Whoopi Goldberg's *lips*. I hate the back of Forrest Whittaker's neck. Huh? Most of all, I hate that black-ass Wesley Snipes.
[Ashtray's drving lessons]
Driving Instructor: Hello. I'm Mr. Walker, your driving instructor. Fasten your seat belt, check your mirrors, let's begin.
[Ashtray driving]
Driving Instructor: Make a right, right here.
[a few moments later... ]
Driving Instructor Make another left right here.
[a few moments later, in front of bank]
Driving Instructor Park right here.
[Ashtray stops]
Driving Instructor Wait here.
[Ashtray waits, gunshots heard in bank, alarm sounding, Mr. Walker runs back to car holding a bag of money, points gun at Ashtray]
Driving Instructor: Drive, motherfucker! Drive!
[car takes off]