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This thread is as awesome as a hemorrhoid.

Good thread. Personally, I know that I need to work more than other guys because I'm hung like an ant, but I've actually used that as motivation to learn how to eat pussy like it's no one's business. I've had several women compliment me on my cunnilingual abilities. I've even had a couple...

I once got one of those shock pictures that people text to their unsuspecting friends where a guy got shark teeth and eyes tattooed on his wang. It looked like the front of an A-10 Warthog. :eeew: George Carlin addressed that problem once. He suggested getting the person's name, but leaving...

:joint:

Without clicking the link, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's about Adrenalynn. Am I close?

I'll pass.

I was quite serious. With the exception of what I do on Freeones, I haven't watched anything resembling porn in about 6 months. :funnyshit:

Babe, you could read the phone book to me and I'd be happy. :lovecoupl :iloveyou:

I don't watch porn. I'm just here to babysit all you perverts.

<--- {ahem!}

Ken Burns is one of the most biased chroniclers ever. He's about as objective as a Raiders fan talking about the Broncos.

You are about as smooth as 20-grit sandpaper. :rolleyes:

I have no problem watching porn if the actress looks like your ***. :D

You mean it's bifurcated?!? :eek: :eeew:

Whatever song Hombres G are currently playing.

People I've never heard of.

There never really was a big bang. There was only a big handjob.

Well, you would know the situation better than I. The only knowledge of it I have is what I've seen in the news recently, and we all know how accurate and unbiased the news is...

According to my Filipino friend Cesar they're just misplaced Mexicans.

Wait, I thought you were Filipino. :confused:

Yes and no. While it was ultimately a disagreement with a union that made the company decide to close down, it was a very unreasonable stance by the bakers' union. In fact, it was so unreasonable that the very Teamsters didn't support it. Those guys were basically looking out for themselves...

I done gots uh grammer question fer ya. What's the correct plural possessive form of man? Is it men's or mens'? I'm just having a brain fart right now.

You mean Meg Whitman?

This thread is making me feel dirty.

Now, THAT would be hot. Briana with a British accent... Mmm... :rubbel:

:clap: Good for them. Hopefully they'll get some good out of this. I worked at Sam's Club almost a decade ago. The employees were treated like they were some disposable piece of hardware. They pay ****, demand a lot, and expect you to be ready to bend over backwards for them at a moment's...

Wait, you're a writer? I didn't know that.

It's the name of a piece by Charles Mingus.

Too bad you can't tell her that she's got a big Asian in her... :flaccid:

In Oakland they'll be aiming their salutes at the nearest minority that walks by. Oh, man, that sucks! Good luck to you.

At least you didn't say I'm Canadian. Then I'd be REALLY insulted.

Well, I don't see any in this thread... Hmmm... I'd have to verify that for myself. :D Let's see, random internet pervert trying to lure hot (alleged) chick (:tongue:) to Colorado by implying that he wants to meet her in a park. Yeah, that's not creepy at all. :dito: So, lemme get this...

Ya know, I've never watched a James Bond movie. :dunno:

...says the guy who doesn't eat meat... :facepalm:

Hopefully it's not the quarter that drives a car. :eek:

It kinda tastes like a sponge roll that had been sitting in a tub of fat for a few days and was filled with sugary trans-fat goop would taste like. :pukey: Yer just butt-hurt 'cause the girl won't let ya eat bacon. :thefinger You forgot to add about half a gallon of oil for each one...

What? I'm just trying to encourage her to show us that she's a girl. :boobies: ;)

There wasn't enough boobage in the video for me to confirm or deny that. ;)

Touché! :hatsoff:

Put him in the general population. He'd have all the skin moisturizer he could handle there. :scream::rubbel:

That's not a cat. That's the love ***** of Darth Maul and Jabba the Hut.

Just to clarify... It's a well-known fact that all women who are members of porn forums on the interwebz are actually overweight dudes in their tighty whities sitting in front of their computers in their moms' basements. :computer: We?!? Whaddya meanwe??? Petra told me the other day that...

I suspected she might be hiding an Adam's apple behind those boobs... :boobies: :eek:

Found it! :D

Gollum in Peter Jackson's trilogy.

Interesting. This is the first time I've heard Briana talk. I always imagined her voice was a bit, um, huskier? Sultrier? Deeper? Not sure what the correct term would be.

Welcome to Freeones! :facepalm:

I didn't read the "story", but I'm willing to bet that it's about Zdenka's small-dick friend being upstaged by a bunch of huge-dick guys. Am I on the right track?

Where do I sign up?

Is it still too early to declare a thread fail?