Why the fuck would you ever get married?

[nearlyinvisible]

Otherwise, you will likely grow old and be lonely and miserable without any specific purpose to your life other than your own selfish interests. What a bankrupt existence that must be....can't even fathom it. I feel sorry for anyone who has to live that way.

Go for it if you are vehemently anti-marriage but I wouldn't trade what I have with my wife and kids for ANYTHING.

Good man. Well said.

 

[nylo]

Having never been married, I can't say to much on the subject. However, I do see a lot of people that are unhappy in their marriages, but the question is the problem them or their spouse or both. I think some people just rush into this marriage thing to quickly. My parents were happily married for 38 years until my mom passed away. But you don't hear about that too much anymore, but it all depends on the people. Right now I hop from girl to girl until I can find the right one and that hasn't happened yet. Besides....I hear unmarried sex is more fun....:1orglaugh

 

[Will E Worm]

I hear unmarried sex is more fun....:1orglaugh

It's always fun until someone gets AIDS or herpes. :tongue:

I don't agree with it.

 

[Jagger69]

Besides....I hear unmarried sex is more fun....:1orglaugh

Totally wrong. My wife and I are so connected sexually that it is without question the best sex I have ever had and continues to be to this day....31 years later. She knows what I like and goes out of her way to please me. If you have casual sex with someone without an emotional bond, you are basically using them as an instrument of masturbation in my book....there's no reciprocity from a mental standpoint. It's the emotional bond that takes it to the next level.

Damn....I'm starting to hate this thread since so many young people here seem to be anti-marriage. I feel sorry for you if that's the way you truly feel. There's the right person for you out there somewhere. You have to work at it and it isn't easy, but it is so worth it when you connect with someone who fills the void for you.

 

[zell]

I personally believe that the actual Christian institution of marriage is pretty much an antiquated notion,and furthermore,nowadays,nothing more than for tax benefits.

I truly believe that people can have "soul mates"and stay together out of true love(other people,not me) and not just convenience,but at this point,I just don't understand the whole ceremony of getting married.

I think it's all to comfort the woman(and in most cases these days,trick her) into thinking that the guy will always be there to take care of her and provide,and blahblah,blah blah blah.

I'm sure that we all know at least one couple that looked like they were meant for each other,but later on are just totally miserable together.

I guess I don't want to really say that people should stop getting married,but rather most people should stop getting married(the statistics prove it),and making divorce lawyers rich.

And If I were a professional athlete,movie star,or anyone else that's rich and/or famous,I would never even think about getting married.Way too many gold diggers trying to get their talons into what they think they got coming to them.George Clooney is a smart man in this respect.

 

[power-san]

Dual income, so you can have BMW's and Porsche's...

 

[timevslife]

Totally wrong. My wife and I are so connected sexually that it is without question the best sex I have ever had and continues to be to this day....31 years later. She knows what I like and goes out of her way to please me. If you have casual sex with someone without an emotional bond, you are basically using them as an instrument of masturbation in my book....there's no reciprocity from a mental standpoint. It's the emotional bond that takes it to the next level.

Damn....I'm starting to hate this thread since so many young people here seem to be anti-marriage. I feel sorry for you if that's the way you truly feel. There's the right person for you out there somewhere. You have to work at it and it isn't easy, but it is so worth it when you connect with someone who fills the void for you.

Its not about being anti-marriage.Im just trying to be realistic.The whole soul mate thing?I mean that sounds nice,but I think its more likely that wont happen.Everywhere I look I see people getting divorced and its turns their life upside down.What does that do for the kids?I think Im a good person and some day I want a child or two but I dont want marriage.You think that would make me a bad father?I dont think so.

 

[titsrock]

None of my married friends have gotten a divorce. All but 1 is a "happy" marriage. The 1 marriage that isn't "happy" (in my opinion) is because the husband (my buddy) belittles his wife and treats her like shit even in public. But he makes a lot of money so I guess they make it work because of material reasons. I have a family member in an unhappy marriage. They fight constantly have POLAR OPPOSITE VIEWS on everything and make each other miserable, however, I guess they are staying together "for the kids," which is the worst reason to stay together.

I don't know how I feel about marriage. A lot of what zell says makes sense to me. But, so does what Jagger says too. I think if you and your wife don't have a lot in common and don't view marriage as a battle of egos--then maybe it can work. Otherwise, I think husbands and wives work hard so they can afford to be apart from each other most of the time....

 

[meesterperfect]

I'm not married, never have been.
I am a good example of "never met the right girl".

I have seen in the U.S. in my time most of my friends get married.
I must Admit most disappear afterwards, then I ran into them some time later.
Most look like hell and are miserable.
Sad but true.

I think at least in the states in todays world people take too long to grow up, if they ever really even do.
They spend most of their twenties partying and "having fun".
Sorry to say especially the girls.

Then some time in their late 20's or 30's they say "holy shit, I'm not married".
At that point I believe many women get married out of desperation, and men out of loneliness.
Both out of fear of being alone.

Not usually a marriage made in heaven.

I do envy those who are happily married, it must be great.

 

[zell]

I think at least in the states in todays world people take too long to grow up, if they ever really even do.
They spend most of their twenties partying and "having fun".
Sorry to say especially the girls.

Then some time in their late 20's or 30's they say "holy shit, I'm not married".
At that point I believe many women get married out of desperation, and men out of loneliness.
Both out of fear of being alone.

I think you make two excellent point,and I will add that I believe that family puts added pressure on people getting married.

I could be totally wrong,but it seems that Italian and Greek parents are well known for trying to rush their kids into marriage.Hopefully our Greek and Italian members can shed some light on that for us.

I'm neither of those ethnicity's,and it's very seldom that anyone asks me when I'm getting married.

 

[likwel]

I,ve been married for fourteen years my wife is my lover and best friend. Sex only improves wih time

 

[jasonk282]

I think you make two excellent point,and I will add that I believe that family puts added pressure on people getting married.

I could be totally wrong,but it seems that Italian and Greek parents are well known for trying to rush their kids into marriage.Hopefully our Greek and Italian members can shed some light on that for us.

I'm neither of those ethnicity's,and it's very seldom that anyone asks me when I'm getting married.

Comming from an Italian family I can say there is NO pressure. My wife and I dated from 1999-2006, we got married June 24th 2006. 7 years of dating in that time we also moved in together before even getting engaged. So there was no pressure from my family or her's. Guess that debunks your theory.

Now an Italian WEDDING is another beast all in it's self, wanna talk about huge and expensive.

 

[pussy+dickdenice]

I dont understand why anyone would ever get married.I dont know a single person that is happy with their marriage and my one buddy that acts like he is cheats on his wife all the time.Divorce,child support,drama and bullshit is all that seems to come with tying the knot.So,why do it?

Just to tell you that I'm one happily married person. I just can not contemplate my existence without my husband. And we have been together through one crisis after another. I shared the most difficult one on this board and I'm obliged to the friends for their support through this board at the time of my trouble. But the happy times I shared are innumerable. It out weighs any pain that I have borne. The anticipation of my first love making. My marriage and aftermath, our together time, a smile, a nod of understanding, the flush of pride in his face after any of my achievement. The glassy look when my daughter was born. There are too many. I would ride those pains several times to have those happy memories.

But that doesn't answer why a person should marry. Because a person is brave enough to commit himself/herself. Commit to life. Create a life. Share a life. Commit in all the respect that is there in life. Nothing is guaranteed in life. To acknowledge that needs a brave heart. I may loose the love of my life. It may be a pain that may seem unbearable at the moment, but if I don't wade in that; I won't know what the shared life is, each pearl of memory can not taken be out by desertion. Even in death a person deserts you, that is given. Should that possibility make me a coward? I sincerely hope, not.

 

[marquis2]

When I was in my formative years I never came across a couple which divorced.Whether they stayed together for the children-unlike another poster I think this is a very good reason; it's long been realised that children are better off with both parents even if they don't get on (except where there is violence) that if their parents separate.And if you have kids you must place their welfare above your own , that's what being a parent is all about.
I hear of couples splitting up because "it didn't work".On the whole marriages don't just work , they have to be made to work.You don't just go along for the ride, you steer it a little.
I made my decision many decades ago and made an obligation in front of a lot of witnesses.I do not make obligations lightly but in fact it's made my life easier in that I know where I stand and how I should behave.It's not plain sailing , there are disagreements and arguments.It's not like a fairy tale but I wouldn't want to be single again.

 

[mastagambit]

I dont understand why anyone would ever get married.I dont know a single person that is happy with their marriage and my one buddy that acts like he is cheats on his wife all the time.Divorce,child support,drama and bullshit is all that seems to come with tying the knot.So,why do it?

I'm married and I'm happy.:thefinger

 

[Stacey]

I would like to add that most of the people I know that are/were married and unhappy or ended up divorced had unrealistic plans. She wants kids, he doesn't but he does say anything because he doesn't want to discuss it blah blah blah.

The problem I see is that some people get married for the wrong reasons. Or, either the man or the woman knows that they can change that annoying little defect in their spouse.


Yeah, the old lady is gonna get older. She didn't look like that 10 years and three kids ago. Newflash, you got older too.

Here are some hints that marriage isn't your thing...
You married because the other person is hot (see above for aging)
S/he was dating someone else but started seeing you before breaking it off with the other person
Love at first sight (If you keep looking, you'll always find something more flashy)
You can't discuss something with the other person

Thats just my opinion, but I could be wrong

 

[mario_pot]

because if you want to make it work yoou will and people get married for pathetic reasons nowadays. not to mention peiple don't even date for decent amounts of time months =/= marriage material. i barely know a person as a friend in that period of time not all cases of course). i think the point of marriage is to find someone you won't mind spending the rest of your life with. someone who you enjoy, and fuck i really would prefer to have someone i know who will stand by me rather than date aa new chick every night and forgetting her name the next morning. there is nothing like having someone who knows you so well you finish their sentences and thoughts and they can do the same for you...and i mean on everything.:lovecoupl

 

[Ravenholm]

You do not need to be married in order to prove your love for someone. And to say you do, well, that's bullshit, and it's dictating how people should act as well. People that have got nothing to do with you [who ever it might be].

People will act in the way they want to. Not how anyone else wants them to. Marrage nowadays is done because people want to get married not because people have to get married like in the olden days. I read on Yahoo last year that marrage rates in the UK were at the lowest they have been in the past 30 years.

What I hate is these people that think it's a crime that other people are having kids out of wedlock, or sex out of marrage, or living with a partner out of marrage, ect, ect. It is not their call on it. It's the responsibility and choice of the people in question [and only the people in question].

Also being married doesn't mean it's best for the children. That is bull so it is. Being married does not mean you will be able to provide financial support for the children. If you have the cash to support kids, then all's well. Marrage doesn't put cash in your pocket. It doesn't improve parenting skills being married. If you are a good parent, then you're a good parent, marrage or not.

This whole society of old way of thinking that you must be married is horseshit IMO. It's a cheap way of dictating how others should act. If someone wants to get married it should be their own choice, not because some narrow minded people want them to get married.

And as for kids born out of wedlock. The only bastard is the BASTARD calling the kid the bastard in the first place, because things in other peoples lives are not going the way that particular stranger wants it to go. Fuck that.

Marrage is no longer a social necessity [for a lot of people]. It's done by choice.

 

[zell]

Comming from an Italian family I can say there is NO pressure. My wife and I dated from 1999-2006, we got married June 24th 2006. 7 years of dating in that time we also moved in together before even getting engaged. So there was no pressure from my family or her's. Guess that debunks your theory.

Now an Italian WEDDING is another beast all in it's self, wanna talk about huge and expensive.

Thanks for the input.I wasn't claiming any authority on Italians and marriage,but this is something that I've always heard.That's why I asked for someone else with a bit more knowledge on it to chime in.

 

[J. Friday]

I heard the divorce rate in America is 67%. Most people still think it's only 50%. Either way, that's pretty steep and Americans should consider that when getting married.