Random Statement Thread II

[The Yak]

Yogurt is unicorn semen.

 

[The Yak]

Everything you eat has been in the mail.

 

[The Yak]

I find I am comforted when a medication I am prescribed lists diarrhea as one of the side effects because that tells me it is a real drug. I think diarrhea is a good line of demarcation between a serious drug versus something that isn't doing all that much. If a drug only causes side effects like dry mouth or something that is only slightly inconvenient, it feels like it is not really doing anything. Diarrhea is serious enough that the drug is real without being so debilitating that the solution is worse than the illness.

 

[Bonezstorm]

When I was young I always struggled to find a job and a woman that I love to raise a family and live happily together. But now that I'm in my mid 30's I can finally say: I don't give a damn.

 

[The Yak]

Until the 1950s, Norway's economy was based largely on fishing.

 

[The Yak]

How has there never been a pornstar named Amber Alert? Missed opportunity.

 

[The Yak]

You don't think I could afford a $1,500 jacket?

 

[The Yak]

Anchor on the evening news: Christmas came early this year for some first graders in Burlington and I came on my wife's face recently.

I bet more people would watch.

 

[The Yak]

Much of a chef's life is revenge killing.

 

[legmann61]

Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything.

 

[Supafly]

Yesterday I baked some bread myself successfully first time for a long long time.

In 2022, I made three catastrophic attempts.

 

[The Yak]

Names for other people's cats: Nurple, Megaphone, Princess Rosie.

 

[The Yak]

Charm is the viscous grease with which he oils his flim-flam machine.

 

[Bonezstorm]

Why are you geh?!11!!

 

[The Yak]

At my job, a long-time employee was suddenly terminated. Management will not go into details why, they will only state that she is no longer a member of the team (which is self-evident). She was a good team member and will be missed. In her honor, this morning I masturbated to videos which xHamster categorized under the heading Ebony MILFs because I think that is what she would have wanted. Therefore, please join me in raising a glass to [name redacted], she was an ebony MILF in every sense of the term.

 

[Torre82]

When they tell you "break a leg", it's cause they want you.. in the cast. (Actors, cast, etc)
So by extension, it works for job interviews, sports, etc

 

[Torre82]

\be on 4ch
\browsing high resolution photos
\find that girl from last of us tv show
Comment is:
I want to mash that little potato

.... She is 19? I mean..
\scratches head
I can't unsee it. That comment. Now she is a 19 y.o. potato.

 

[Torre82]

"we can't all be neurotypical, Karen."

 

[Torre82]

Beast mode

 

[Torre82]

\walks to car
Please don't break the window
Three a\c is on
And he is listening to his favorite music.
\looks at dog behind the note

Well okay.