If you were Forced to Cage Fight against a Lion, Silverback Gorilla, or Grizzly?

[DJCowboy]

People in here don't have much knowledge of the animal kingdom. I chose the gorilla because you can stand very still and keep your head down, whatever you do, don't look it in the eye. Once it has finished its charge(a very scary moment) Do not run for fucksake. Chances are the gorilla will accept your submission and leave you alone.

Been watchin Congo?

For bears you should spread out your arms and yell as loud as you can at it. If that doesn't work, pray to whatever deity you may believe in

 

[Bearded_Menace]

Shit, talk about a tough choice. The gorilla gives you the best chance for survival because you can use your superior intellect to get you out of a tough spot. With that said however, I am still not comfortable going up against an animal whose strength is so awesome he could severe the spine of a lion without breaking a sweat. Ever wonder why lions don't prey on gorillas?

The Lion is the scarier of the 3 to me because it is the one most likely attacking your ass for food. Being killed is one thing, but being killed with the forehand knowledge of knowing you are gonna be eaten afterwards is unsettling. The one saving grace for fighting the lion, however, is the fact that their record is the worst out of the three when it comes to these sort of contests. Masai and Zulu warriors have routinely killed lions with little to no weapons needed(I guess a big rock does count as a weapon) to get the job done.

As with most posters here, I am gonna say fuck fighting the grizzly. It has claws and teeth like the lion and strength that surpasses the gorilla. It's nose is it's weak spot, but you only got one chance to nail that thing with a fierce ass kick or some hot sauce. Other than that, I recommend running, preferably downhill. Their front legs aren't built for speed going downhill. They are actually faster going uphill.

 

[Excision]

Grizzly Bear, come at me bro.

 

[gunslingingbird]

A grizzly will always smell its prey for signs of poison or anything unhealthy prior to eating it. If I shit myself and the grizzly smells me I'm good to go.

 

[lurkingdirk]

The bear, because:

 

[Smallville22]

Lion

 

[Shifty]

I think I'd take my chances with the Grizzly. Likely, he'd take your head off with one quick swipe.

The Lion would knock you down and eat your guts while you were dying, and the gorilla would probably rip your arms and legs off.

 

[Kingfisher]

Grizzly. At least I know the Grizz isn't going to rape my corpse afterwards, unlike the pervo Lion and Gorilla. Freakin' sickos.

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

Their front legs aren't built for speed going downhill. They are actually faster going uphill.

No. Grizzlies can run at speeds of up to 30mph. The fastest man in the world runs just below 19mph. You won't be outrunning any of them. That is, unless you can outrun a slow moving, honey coated child You Might use as a distraction. But then you'd still be locked in a cage with it.

 

[surk31]

I'd go with the lion, if you got lucky and weren't instantly shredded by his claws You Might be able to free an arm and push it down his throat triggering his gag reflex (assuming the lion isn't related to some of our very fine pornstars) and this may give you a slight chance at surviving.

 

[Rivers]

Cage fight sweet! I can fight all three I will spray the poison Asian Mist at them like the Great Muta. Then wallop them to death with a steel chair.

And finish them off with an elbow off the top of the cage.

I think I'd take my chances with the Grizzly. Likely, he'd take your head off with one quick swipe.

The Lion would knock you down and eat your guts while you were dying, and the gorilla would probably rip your arms and legs off.

That's what I was thinking. If we're talking about pissed off/hungry animals in each case, the gorilla would scare me the most. Monkeys and gorillas will tear you apart, whereas the others would probably go more for the kill. Gorillas have hands...at least bears and lions only have teeth and claws.

 

[STDiva]

I just hope none of them happen to be necropheliacs.

 

[vodkazvictim]

Lion.
If you can get on it's back it can't claw you off like the 'rilla and it's weight is less than the Grizzly so it can'#t roll on you to crush you so well.
So when you're on it's back you can wrap you're forearms around the throat to strangle it, controlling the location if the jaws in the process.

 

[TheSpokenWheel]

Lion. Anyone who thinks they have a legitimate shot against a fucking silver back is high. That thing will grab you by the arms and tear you clean in half. Not that I'm going to be able to take a lion or anything, I just love kitties.

 

[zell]

First things first,you stand absolutely no chance against a lion.They are way too fast and way too aggressive.Silverback,if you let it punk you out and act as submissive,you have a shot,and bears in general are fucking idiots,so there's a decent chance that you actually could punk one out,wolverines do it all the time,though they are black bears and not grizzlies.Also,if you just play dead,they generally lose interest.

As a matter of fact,why did the OP choose grizzlies anyway?Polar bears are waaaaaaay more dangerous.

Anyway,anyone that choose lion is fucking crazy and is obviously wishing for a quick death.

It's too close between the grizzly and the silverback for me.I guess I would choose the grizzly because all you have to do is play dead so it would be over quicker.With the silverback,you have to be his bitch,and that could last for who knows how long.

 

[Shifty]

Lion.
If you can get on it's back it can't claw you off like the 'rilla and it's weight is less than the Grizzly so it can'#t roll on you to crush you so well.
So when you're on it's back you can wrap you're forearms around the throat to strangle it, controlling the location if the jaws in the process.

Never, ever happen. Ever.

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

This whole conversation sounds like something I would have had an argument about in the fifth grade.

 

[Sam Fisher]

Mother Cougar versus Grizzly Bear

 

[Bearded_Menace]

No. Grizzlies can run at speeds of up to 30mph. The fastest man in the world runs just below 19mph. You won't be outrunning any of them. That is, unless you can outrun a slow moving, honey coated child you might use as a distraction. But then you'd still be locked in a cage with it.

Umm, I said they weren't fast going downhill...DOWNHILL. Or maybe I should have said not quite as fast going downhill as they are going uphill. By the way, 19mph is way off target for being the fastest a human can run. That is about the speed of the average human being in good shape. Usain Bolt's average speed is about 23 mph. He has topped out at about 27mph. Hell, I have seen guys on any given Sunday in full pads run between 18-21mph. Devin Hester, Larry Fitgerald, and Chris Johnson just to name a few. Not that any of this would matter if a grizzly was chasing my ass though since I am no where near that fast.

 

[Ike Stain]

Gorilla because there's always a chance he'll let you off with a simple dominance butt-fucking