Good News... Bad News...

[D-rock]

Bad News: Something worse will take its place.

Good News: You find bundles of money when you tear open one of your walls.

 

[Sutekh35]

Bad News-Its Monopoly money
Good News-You do pass Go

 

[member006]

Bad news: the banks closed

Good news: The tree didn't fall

 

[HeartBroker]

Bad News: It landed on your house!

Good News: Nobody was there to hear it so did it really fall at all?

 

[Sutekh35]

Bad News-It must be true, there's a branch squashing my left leg
Good News-The Tree Doctor is on his way

 

[cronchimonchi]

good news- Tory Lane only wants to fuck you
bad news- she wants to fuck usin a strap-on in your ass

ahahahhaa

 

[member006]

Bad news: He is stopping at the 7-11 for coffee.

Good news: Water temp in the pool is just right.

 

[D-rock]

Bad News: A school or piranhas made it's way in there.

Good News: At least you still have your bathtub.

 

[Sutekh35]

Bad News-Your Goldfish is in the bathtub
Good News-The Swimming baths are open

 

[nothingandless]

bad news: the water is ice cold

good news: they are filled with beautiful women.

 

[D-rock]

Bad News: They are extraterrestrials in disguised come to steal harvest your organs for a meal.

Good News: The rain came and washed your car for you.

 

[nothingandless]

bad news: my car is broken down so nobody will notice.

good news: i get a lot of excercise not driving.

 

[D-rock]

Bad News: It was from running away from a badger that was chasing me.

Good News: I now have a lot of endurance.

 

[nothingandless]

bad news: i can't sleep anymore.

good news: i know all that goes down in the infommercial world.

 

[D-rock]

Bad News: Tony Little is starting to make sense to you.

Good News: You burn extra calories acting like a worked up freak.

 

[nothingandless]

bad news: starting to get so thin i look like skelton.

good news: shopping for pants has never been so easy.

 

[Sutekh35]

Good News-You find a pair that fits you like a glove
Bad News-Someone tried them on yesterday,and they were infested with pubic lice

 

[nothingandless]

good news: they were stolen a week ago and somebody obviously saw the "Lost My Perfect Pants" signs i posted to every telephone pole in the city.

bad news: i'm plagued with harassing phone calls.

 

[Magnet]

Good News: You were able to sue the store for millions of dollars
Bad News: You still have Pubic Lice.

 

[nothingandless]

Good news: the millions of dollars will beable to pay for that long overdue visit to the doctor.

Bad news: the visit will more than likely reveal that far more is wrong than the easily curable lice.