Favourite Movie Quotes

[LordVader66]

Another one from Cocktail

Bonnie: Don't let it end this way.
Brian: All things end badly, or else they wouldn't end.


Top Gun

Charlie: Excuse me, Lieutenant. Is there something wrong?
Maverick: Yes ma'am, the data on the MiG is inaccurate.
Charlie: How's that, Lieutenant?
Maverick: Well, I just happened to see a MiG 28 do a...
Goose: We!
Maverick: Uh, sorry Goose. WE happened to see a MiG 28 do a 4g negative dive.
Charlie: Where did you see this?
Maverick: Uh, that's classified.
Charlie: It's what?
Maverick: It's classified. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.


Charlie: So lieutenant, where exactly were you?
Maverick: Well, we...
Goose: Thank you.
Maverick: Started up on a 6, when he pulled from the clouds, and then I moved in above him.
Charlie: Well, if you were directly above him, how could you see him?
Maverick: Because I was inverted.
Iceman: [coughs whilst saying] Bullshit.
Goose: No he was man, it was a really great move. He was inverted.
Charlie: You were in a 4g inverted dive with a MiG28?
Maverick: Yes ma'am.
Charlie: At what range?
Maverick: Um, about 2 meters.
Goose: It was actually about 1 and a half I think. It was 1 and a half, I've got a great Polaroid of it, and he's right there, must be 1 and a half.
Maverick: Was a nice picture.
Goose: Thanks.
Charlie: Eh lieutenant, what were you doing there?
Goose: Communicating.
Maverick: Communicating. Keeping up foriegn relations. You know, giving him the bird!
Goose: [Charlie looks puzzled, so Goose clarifies] You know, the finger
[gestures apprpriately]
Charlie: Yes, I know the finger, Goose.
Goose: I-I'm sorry, I hate it when it does that, I'm sorry. Excuse me.

 

[Shadowfax 10]

Aragorn: You have my sword.

Legolas: You have my bow

Gimli: And you have my axe.

Lord of the rings, The Fellowship of the Rings.


Hobbit: is there really hope.

Gandalf the White: no, only fool hope.

Lord of the Rings, The Return of the King.


Gimli: Legolas, I never thought I fight side by side with a elf.

Legolas: How about with a friend.

Gimli: Aye I could do that.

Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers.

 

[-KING-]

Shrek The Third

Prince Charming: You! You can't lie! Where is Shrek?
Pinocchio: Well, uh, I don't know where he's not.
Prince Charming: You don't know where Shrek is?
Pinocchio: On the contrary,
Prince Charming: So you do know where he is!
Pinocchio: I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that I undeniably
Prince Charming: Stop It!
Pinocchio: Do or do not know where he shouldn't probably be. If that indeed wasn't where he isn't!

 

[-KING-]

Once Upon A Time In Mexico

Agent Sands: Are you a Mexi-CAN or a Mexi-CAN'T?
Cucuy: I'm a Mexi-CAN
Agent Sands: Good. Then do as I say.

Agent Sands: Well, I guess I should thank you for not sticking it up your ass.

Left Nut: I was tortured once... I didn't like it. You know what the really fucked up part was? They tore out my left nut. That really turned me off to the whole thing.

Cab Driver: Look out there, its a fucking coup d'Ètat.
Agent Sands: I can't see, fuck-mook. I have no eyes.

 

[slowhand]

The Shawshank Redemption

Red: You could argue he'd done it to curry favor with the guards. Or, maybe make a few friends among us cons. Me, I think he did it just to feel normal again, if only for a short while

 

[DOA82]

Aragorn: You have my sword.

Legolas: You have my bow

Gimli: And you have my axe.

Lord of the rings, The Fellowship of the Rings.


Hobbit: is there really hope.

Gandalf the White: no, only fool hope.

Lord of the Rings, The Return of the King.


Gimli: Legolas, I never thought I fight side by side with a elf.

Legolas: How about with a friend.

Gimli: Aye I could do that.

Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers.

Aragorn: You have my sword.

Legolas: And you have my bow

Gimli: And my axe.

Lord of the rings, The Fellowship of the Rings.


Hobbit: Is there any hope gandalf, for frodo and sam.

Gandalf the White: There never was much hope, only a fools hope.

Lord of the Rings, The Return of the King.


Gimli: Never thought I would die fighting side by side with an elf.

Legolas: How about side by side with a friend.

Gimli: Aye I could do that.

Lord of the Rings, The Return of the King.

Call me anal if you will, but I hate seeing my favourite movies mis-quoted.

 

[hedgehog]

From This is Spinal Tap

Nigel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...

Martin: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?

Nigel: Exactly.

Martin: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?

Nigel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?

Martin: I don't know.

Nigel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?

Martin: Put it up to eleven.

Nigel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.

Martin: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?

[Pause.]

Nigel: These go to eleven.

 

[thommob]

More of my fave movie quotes, this time from the hilarious Mel Brooks films Blazing Saddles & Spaceballs.


Blazing Saddles
Hedley Lamarr: Repeat after me: I...
Men: I...
Hedley Lamarr: ...your name...
Men: ...your name...
Hedley Lamarr: [to himself] Shmucks.
[aloud]
Hedley Lamarr: ...do pledge allegiance...
Men: ...do pledge allegiance...
Hedley Lamarr: ...to Hedley Lamarr...
Men: ...to Hedy Lamarr...
Hedley Lamarr: That's *Hedley*!
Men: That's Hedley.

Lili Von Shtupp: Is that a ten-gallon hat, or are you just enjoying the show?

[Bart, disguised as a Klansman, describes his qualifications as a villain]
Bart: Stampeding cattle.
Hedley Lamarr: That's not much of a crime.
Bart: Through the Vatican?
Hedley Lamarr: [smiling] Kinky. Sign here.

Hedley Lamarr: Meeting adjourned. Oh, I am sorry, sir I didn't mean to overstep my bounds, you say that.
Governor William J. Le Petomane: What?
Hedley Lamarr: Meeting is adjourned.
Governor William J. Le Petomane: It is?
Hedley Lamarr: No, you say that, governor.
Governor William J. Le Petomane: What?
Hedley Lamarr: Meeting is adjourned.
Governor William J. Le Petomane: It is?
Hedley Lamarr: Here, sir, play with this.
[Hands the governor a paddleball]

Taggart: Break's over, boys. Don't just lay there gettin' a suntan, ain't gonna do you no good anyhow. Now take this shovel and put it to some good use.
[Bart grabs a shovel and advances on Taggart from behind]
Charlie: Don't do it, Bart.
Bart: Uh-uh, baby, I have to.
Taggart: [to Lyle] Now send a wire to the main office and tell them that I said
[Bart whacks him]
Taggart: OW.
Lyle: Send wire, main office, tell them I said ow, gotcha.

[the Governor is having trouble putting his pen back into its holder]
Hedley Lamarr: Think of your secretary...
[the pen goes straight in]
Governor William J. Le Petomane: Thank you. That's a good one.

Bart: [on grandstand to the townspeople] Excuse me while I whip this out.
[reaches into waistline as crowd gasps and screams; Bart pulls out paper, they sigh with relief]

Hedley Lamarr: You will be risking your lives, whilst I will be risking an almost-certain Academy Award nomination for the Best Supporting Actor.

Taggart: [shouting] We'll head them off at the pass!
Hedley Lamarr: Head them off at the pass? I hate that cliché.
[shoots his foot]

Reverend Johnson: We will now read from Matthew, Mark, Luke...
[stick of dynamite sails in through window]
Reverend Johnson: ... and DUCK.

[Hedley is at Graumann's Chinese Theater]
Female tourist: Look, Irv. I'm in Hedy Lamar's shoes.
Hedley Lamarr: [running by] HEDLEY.

Governor William J. Le Petomane: [whistles] Have you gone beserk! Can't you see that man is a ni...
[realizes he is talking to Bart]
Governor William J. Le Petomane: Hahaha, wrong person.
[goes back to lead Hedley the same way]
Governor William J. Le Petomane: Have you gone beserk? Can't you see that man is a ni?

Hedley Lamarr: [hurrying through the movie theater, but stops at the concession stand] Rasinettes!

Spaceballs
Dark Helmet: [as seeing the Eagle 5 go off with its Hyper Jets] Wait!
[raises his mask up]
Dark Helmet: What happened? Where are they?
Colonel Sandurz: I do'nt know sir. They must have hyper jets on that thing.
Dark Helmet: And what do we have on this thing? A Cuisinart?
Colonel Sandurz: No, sir.
Dark Helmet: Well, find them, catch them!
Colonel Sandurz: Yes, sir.
[picks up the intercom]
Colonel Sandurz: Prepair ship for light speed.
Dark Helmet: No, no, no. Light speed is too slow.
Colonel Sandurz: Light speed is too slow?
Dark Helmet: Yes. We're gonna have go right to... ludicrous speed.
[everybody gasps]
Colonel Sandurz: Ludicrous speed? Sir, we've never gone that fast before. I do'nt know if this ship can take it.
Dark Helmet: What's the matter Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?
Colonel Sandurz: [Wimpering] Prepair ship!
[Calms down]
Colonel Sandurz: Prepair ship, for Ludicrous speed. Fasten all seat belts.
[everybody fastens in their seat belts and locks all of the doors]
Colonel Sandurz: Seal all enterances and exits. Lock all stores in the mall. Cancel the 3-ring circus. Secure all animals in the zoo...
Dark Helmet: [Takes the intercom from Sandurz] Gimme that, you petty excuse for an officer!
[speaks into the intercom as Sandurz puts on his seat belt]
Dark Helmet: Now hear this, Ludicrous speed...
Colonel Sandurz: [Interrupts] Sir, you better buckle up.
Dark Helmet: [to Sandurz] Ah, buckle this.
[Into the intercom]
Dark Helmet: Ludicrous speed, go!
[Spaceball 1 begins to go so fast that Helmet is hanging on the ledge and is screaming as Spaceball 1 goes from light speed to ridiculous speed and then to ludicrous speed]
Dark Helmet: What have I done? My brains... are going into my feet.
[the sceneoutside changes from straight lines to some kind of Plad color and sails over the Eagle 5]
Barf: what the hell was that?
Lone Starr: Spaceball 1.
Barf: They've gone to plad.

Dark Helmet: Raspberry. There's only one man who would dare give me the raspberry: Lone Star!
[camera moves in closer and closer during his dialog until it smashes into Dark Helmet and knocks him out]

[Colonel Sandurz, Dark Helmet and the Video Operator are watching Spaceballs (1987), the movie]
Colonel Sandurz: That's much too early. Prepare to fast-forward!
Video Operator: Preparing to fast-forward!
Colonel Sandurz: Fast-forward!
Video Operator: Fast-forwarding, sir!

[Mega-Maid's computer counts down to self-destruct]
Self-Destruct Voice: Ten... nine... eight... six...
President Skroob: Six? What happened to seven?
Self-Destruct Voice: Just kidding! Seven... six... five... four... three... two... one... have a nice day.
President Skroob, Colonel Sandurz, Dark Helmet: Thank you.

Dark Helmet: What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?
Colonel Sandurz: Now. You're looking at now sir. Everything that happens now, is happening now.
Dark Helmet: What happened to then?
Colonel Sandurz: We passed then.
Dark Helmet: When?
Colonel Sandurz: Just now. We're at now, now.
Dark Helmet: Go back to then!
Colonel Sandurz: When?
Dark Helmet: Now.
Colonel Sandurz: Now?
Dark Helmet: Now!
Colonel Sandurz: I can't.
Dark Helmet: Why?
Colonel Sandurz: We missed it.
Dark Helmet: When?
Colonel Sandurz: Just now.
Dark Helmet: When will then be now?
Colonel Sandurz: Soon.
Dark Helmet: How soon?
Video Operator: Sir!
[Dark Helmet has becomed far too confused and everyone now ignores him even though he's center screen]
Dark Helmet: What?
Video Operator: We've identified their location.
Dark Helmet: Where?

Dark Helmet: What did you do? You turned it off!
Colonel Sandurz: Turned off what? I just turned off the screen.
Dark Helmet: No, you didnt! You turned off the movie!

Self-Destruct Voice: This ship will self distruct in 30 seconds. Last chance to hit the Cancellation button
Dark Helmet: What are you waiting for hit the Cancellation button!
Colonel Sandurz: I am afraid the Cancellation button has been blocked. Its irriversable
President Skroob: Irriversable! Just like my raincoat!

Dark Helmet: What's the matter with this thing? What's with all that churning and bubbling? You call that a Radar Screen?
[Sandurz points to the sign on the machine]
Colonel Sandurz: No sir, we call it Mr. Coffee. Care for some?
Dark Helmet: I always have coffee when I watch radar, you know that!
Colonel Sandurz: Of course I do, sir.
Dark Helmet: Everybody knows that!
All the henchmen in the room: Of course we do, sir!
Dark Helmet: Now that I have my coffee I'm ready to watch radar. Where is it?
Colonel Sandurz: Right here, sir.
[Sandurz points to the sign on the radar screen that says Mr. Radar]

[after running the full length of Spaceball One to reach the bridge]
President Skroob: The ship is too big. If I walk, the movie will be over.

Self-Destruct Voice: This ship will self-destruct in ten, nine, eight, six...
Dark Helmet: Six! What happened to seven?
Self-Destruct Voice: I'm just kidding!

[watching himself crash into the ship's console while fast-forwarding through Spaceballs: The Movie video cassette]
Dark Helmet: No, no, no. Go past this. Pass this part. In fact, never play this again.

Lone Starr: I wonder, will we ever see each other again?
Yogurt: Who knows? God willing, we'll all meet again in Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money.

 

[Dro50]

Collateral

Max: Hey.[stuttering]
Max: He, he, he fell on the cab. He fell, he fell from up there on the motherfucking cab. Shit. I think he's dead.
Vincent: Good guess.
Max: You killed him?
Vincent: No, I shot him. Bullets and the fall killed him.

Vincent: Max, six billion people on the planet, you're getting bent out of shape cause of one fat guy.
Max: Well, who was he?
Vincent: What do you care? Have you ever heard of Rwanda?
Max: Yes, I know Rwanda.
Vincent: Well, tens of thousands killed before sundown. Nobody's killed people that fast since Nagasaki and Hiroshima. Did you bat an eye, Max?
Max: What?
Vincent: Did you join Amnesty International, Oxfam, Save the Whales, Greenpeace, or something? No. I off one fat Angelino and you throw a hissy fit.
Max: Man, I don't know any Rwandans.
Vincent: You don't know the guy in the trunk, either.

Daniel: I mean, everybody and their momma knew you don't just come up and talk to Miles Davis. I mean, he may have looked like he was chilling, but he was absorbed. This one hip couple, one of them tried to shake his hand one day. And the guy says, "Hi, my name is..." Miles said, "Get the fuck outta my face, you jive motherfucker, and take your silly bitch with you."

 

[ILoveLanny]

I like this quote from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly:

Blondie to Tuco: "You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig."

 

[-KING-]

"Do you speak english, Motherfucker?!"

 

[slowhand]

Tin Cup



Roy "Tin Cup" McAvoy: "I guess my question's this: What would possess the guy standing on the shore to swim for it?"

 

[ckjedi66]

Harry (Jeff Daniels): I can't believe we drove around all day, and there's not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip!
Lloyd (Jim Carrey): Yeah! Unless you wanna work forty hours a week.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lloyd: Why you going to the airport, flying somewhere?
Mary (Lauren Holly): How'd you guess?
Lloyd: I saw your luggage, then when I noticed the airline ticket I put 2 and 2 together.

From Dumb and Dumber

 

[dick van cock]

"only fools know any restraints"

(Albert Fish)

... review to follow...

 

[ckjedi66]

[Roxanne Kowalski is walking behind a hedge because she is nude]
Roxanne Kowalski (Daryl Hannah): Nobody had a coat?
C.D. Bales (Steve Martin): I thought you said you didn't want a coat...
Roxanne Kowalski: Why would I not want a coat?
C.D. Bales: You said you didn't want a coat!
Roxanne Kowalski: I was being ironic.
C.D. Bales: Oh, ho, ho, irony! Oh, no, no, we don't get that here. See, uh, people ski topless here while smoking dope, so irony's not really a, a high priority. We haven't had any irony here since about, uh, '83, when I was the only practitioner of it. And I stopped because I was tired of being stared at.


Mayor Deebs (Fred Willard): I would rather be with the people of this town than with the finest people in the world.

From Roxanne

 

[Dro50]

"Thank You For Smoking"

BR: People, what is going on out there? I look down this table, all I see are white flags. Our numbers are down all across the board. Teen smoking, our bread and butter, is falling like a shit from heaven! We don't sell Tic Tacs for Christ's sake. We sell cigarettes. And they're cool and available and *addictive*. The job is almost done for us!

Brad: Nick, your job and everything aside, I hope you understand that second hand smoke's a real killer.
Nick Naylor: What are you talking about?
Brad: I just hope you're providing a smoke-free environment for Joey is all I'm saying.
Nick Naylor: Brad, I'm his *father*. You're the guy fucking his mom.
Brad: .......That was unnecessary.

Senator Ortolan Finistirre: That's ludicrous - The great state of Vermont will not apologize for its cheese!

Nick Naylor: You know the guy who can pick up any girl? I'm him. On crack.

 

[slowhand]

Top Gun



Maverick: She's lost that loving feeling.

Goose: No, no she hasn't.

Maverick: Oh, yes she has.

Goose: I hate it when she does that.

 

[Donkey Boy]

The Usual Suspects:

McManus (Stephen Baldwin): Gimme the fuckin keys, you fuckin cocksucker motherfucker AHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!

Fenster (Benicio del Toro): Handme da keys, you cocksucker.
Cop: In English, please!
Fenster: Excuse me?
Cop: In English!
Fenster: Handme the fuckin' keys, you cocksucker...what da fuck?

 

[nealdrox]

American Psycho

Patrick Bateman: I don't think we should see each other any more.
Evelyn Williams: Why? What's wrong?
Patrick Bateman: I need to engage in homicidal behaviour on a massive scale. It can not be corrected but I have no other way to fulfill my needs.

 

[ckjedi66]

Ricky Roma (Al Pacino) to Williamson (Kevin Spacey):You know your business, I know mine. Your business is being an asshole.

From Glengarry Glenross