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According to ****** Michael, no.

Fleshlights don't count.

That's called a blumpkin.

:funnyshit: :chickendance:

I haven't cut my hair since the bicentennial.

Dude, this is Freeones, not your fucking blog. If we wanna know every time you eat sushi or get your hair cut we'll visit your blog. If we wanna bullshit and look at porn we'll visit Freeones. There's no reason to use the Talk section as a substitute for your blog.

:why: :facepalm: Morticia FTW! :hit:

So, who can I sue now for making me look like 150 pounds of chewed bubble ***?

Nightwish - Arabesque

Wait, porn movies have plots?!? :surprise:

12.50

Make it 10, and you've got a deal.

How much are Nightwish tickets over there? I have, um, a friend who wants to go see them in Europe, and he was wondering how much tickets are since he'll actually have to pay for tickets. What should I tell my, uh, friend? :)

Because he's a self-centered prick. Last December we had Metallica at the Fillmore for a week to celebrate their 30th anniversary. On one of the nights he hit traffic on the way to the gig, like what happens to many other people who try to get around San Francisco on a Friday at 5 in the...

The Alchemical Keys to Masonic Ritual. It explains the correlations between what the alchemists of old studied and the rituals currently practiced in Masonic blue lodges. Quite interesting.

Yeah, here I am thinking that you're a girl. Everyone knows that porn forums are just overweight dudes in their tighty whities sitting in their moms' basements.

:lovecoupl So... Wanna fuck? :nannerf1:

Wait, does that mean that you're leaving us? :nanner: :jump: :chickendance: :coolman:

It doesn't necessarily have to have fish in it, nor is the fish necessarily raw. ;)

2 snare drums and a high hat rolling down a hill: BA-DUM-PSSHT! :spin:

How come I'm not on that list? :wtf:

I'm SOOO tempted to move this to the Gay Talk section... :yinyang:

24. The answer is always 24. :thumbsup:

I know! It was almost grammatically correct, too! :surprise:

We've all fucked a fat chick before. I fucked a chick that weighed 250 pounds. My recommendation: get her all sweaty, and then do her belly button. :drool2:

You visit DMVs for fun, and you wonder why you can't get laid. Hmmm... :chickendance:

Apparently Fallhellian is a popular language.

I rent it out weekly. The guy who's there right now hasn't come up with this week's full rent, so he only gets half of it.

Your words, not mine: :hatsoff:

Wait, how old are you? I always figured you were one of those fiftysomethings that hangs out in his van outside a high school. :confused:

You mean Freeones wasn't available on mobile before 2 days ago?!? We'll, sonofabitch, I guess my laptop must've gotten really, really small and acquired voice capabilities about 3 years ago. :sarcasm:

Ya know, ya could come back to California. I have half a bed that you could use. :lovecoupl Just another way for the government to make sure you know they're in control. My friend tried to get into a bar, but his license was expired, so, even though his birthdate will never change, he wasn't...

Yeah, tell that to papagmp. :ohsnap:

And just think of how much better your situation is because you don't have a headache. :thumbsup: {AHEM!}

Inbreeding's a bitch, innit? :thumbsup:

You know, now that you mention it, ****** Planet recently aired a show about mermaids and the plausibility of their existence. Apparently their legend has been around since the days of cave paintings, and there's some vague evidence that they might actually exist somewhere in the depths of the...

Aren't you supposed to be like in Ethiopia, or some other third-world shithole like that? :wtf:

:baconsalt:

You know why divorce is so expensive? Because it's worth it! :thumbsup: :1orglaugh

Groundhog Day

You're not bitter or nothing, are ya? :D

Look on the bright side: at least you don't have a headache. :hybrid:

And now, for some shameless self-promotion... :tongue:

Well, that explains a lot.

Devoted over a decade of my life to a girl who led me on, and then told me that we couldn't even remain friends after she rejected my marriage proposal.

:facepalm: Foreigners... :facepalm:

Welcome back! :wave:

Oh, you wouldn't believe how many times I've wiped my ass with your profile page. :baconsalt:

I usually print out the page and wipe my ass with it. :booty:

I'll pass on that, thank you very much. Besides, the hotter it is, the more **** I tend to consume. More **** = bigger gut. You don't like **** guts, do you? ;)