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Usually the rule is 2 weeks but I find sitting around until things improve to be the cure-all for everything.

I sure as heck would. Ain't no crime if you're ripping off a ***********. How do you resist seeing that much cash laying around that no one has legal claim to? Take a taste but don't get sloppy and greedy. Make sure everyone else does the same to prove they're also trustworthy.

I'm looking to get the best microwavable pizza out there. I don't have a CostCo membership and I need to get a new stove and use the microwave for everything now. Tonight I had Red Baron Deep Dish Supreme Singles. There were 2 in a package and you remove the plastic but keep it in the microwave...

I'm such a slob. When I was a *** my *** would say, "Either pick that thing up or give it a name." I'm still the same lazy, good-fer-nuthin' piece of **** and the bunny's name is Bunny.

True or False?

I was stuck in the mud beating my meat beyond purple. Sweat was cascading off the toilet seat and I almost slipped off. Anyway I switched to her friend and it was like running downhill from there on. Decent puddle on the floor. Pretty good.

Have you ever picked up a prostitute that also ended up being a homeless? I used to see one on Lincoln Bl that stayed between Yoshinoya and the bus stop. I paid her per tooth then times ten. Depreciation kept me coming back for more and often too. Yoshinoya is now Tasty Goody and I think she...

What do you think?

I've laughed and ******* simultaneously too many times in my life. I have issues with appropriateness so I'd like to gather a few more opinions. Thanks and Merry Christmas in advance.

Joe D'Amato made some really wonderfully sleazy Horror Films and included scenes of the hardcore sex. Films like Erotic Nights Of The Living Dead, Porno Holocaust, Emanuelle in America, and Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals. I like.

Classic **** too. Right or wrong nobody's got balls to pull that **** these days. Ffffffffffttt. Toodles...

Basically a question for the ladies. What made you go into porn? What did you do before porn also?

Russia Says, "Now We Put Sanctions On Your American How-You-Say? Ah... MacDonald! Ah-Ha-Ha!" You know what a snow cone is in Russia? Can't say but it's more salty than sweet. http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/26/world/europe/russia-sues-mcdonalds-questioning-quality-of-the-food.html?_r=0

Dude Sings "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" With A Finger Slid Up His Butt In South Cackalacky http://thesportsdaily.net/watch-video-*****-league-gm-gets-prostate-exam-while-singing-take-me-out-to-the-ballgame/

That's a good looking broad. All that blonde hair twirling around twisting in her fingers swaying from one side to the other. Her and John Kerry side-by-side must look like Beauty And The Frankenstein *******.

Tell me about your most sickeningly gruesome discovery in the most spine-tingling, bone-chilling, *****-curdling, *****-inducing way that you are able. Like a lady who needs a good cry; I need a good barf.

This time I order meal with 6 Tender and she give 4 dipping sauces. Last time only 3 and this time she smile. I insult her engagement ring so she lose respect for her man and give me the oral sex.

How lazy are you and what acts of laziness do you aspire to? It ain't bragging if it's true so don't be shy. I'm so lazy I stop smoking when packing another bowl is just too much effort and way better just to nod off in the chair I'm already sitting in. I should get a Purple Heart for being...

... She'd look like this.

I never do and it seems to come out OK. Is it really worth the effort?

Fellas or hookers. Have you pick. This one goes out to the fellas...

Real World: The Six Degrees Of Purple Sabbath Ozzy Osbourne Tony Iommi Ritchie Blackmore Candice Blackmore Sharon Osbourne Tawny Kitaen David Coverdale Baseball Player who was with Tawny Kitaen Bill Ward Ian Paice Geezer Butler Glenn Hughes Ian Gillan Rick Rubin Jørn Lande "Almost tripped over...

As long as she doesn't yell at me with the old lady wheezing voice getting so angry her eyes cross. Very fit for a senior citizen with minimal sagging of the vagina. No poll. Explain yourself in front of everyone. I wonder if Geraldo has gotten to her yet.

A lotta these guys get collared up in their 40s and older. I don't really think 3 ******* in 46 years forms a pattern in life that has any consistency that would allow the person to be categorized so disparagingly. Words hurt but labels brand you for life. Be considerate of others even if they...

We discuss who we beat our meat too fairly often. We don't mention too much where this meat gets beaten at. Where is your favorite place for Punishing Percy? I like sitting on the toilet. I can hear the neighbor better there than in the shower. Taking a shower is too much effort just to jack...

I'd rather seem like a rejoicer than a complainer.

I didn't know that. 12 Things We Learned from 'The Terminator' Oral History

I'll start with Henry, Portrait Of A Serial Killer, New York Ripper, and Don't Answer The Phone! Winner! Winner! Rotisserie Prostitute Dinner!

Not me. Never. A mirror will catch Dracula's reflection before anyone catches me doing the jacking off.

I know it's like fucking a corpse but kissing a dead lady seems possibly difficult to adjust to. Can you close the eyes on those things?

Hard at work doing America's work prioritizing his investigations for the country's benefit. He was a better detective on Barney Miller. http://dailycaller.com/2014/07/14/eric-holder-investigates-obama-outhouse-parade-float/

If I saw Maria Bartiromo I would tell her, "Your face is kinda nice once you get used to it."

I am very lucky and often out there. When I was 17 I gave a gal $40 and, instead of getting the room that I trusted her to get, she ran off with my $40 instead.

How does all that smell bunched together so randomly smell exactly like that?

Just kidding but not sure yet. I remember that one WCW Monday Nitro when Vince waved his shovel toward Atlanta. Wonder if Anderson Cooper gets over or changes his gimmick. Tag him up with Shephard Smith perhaps? To be honest it was hard for me to get through the entire article because I drank...

Hookers are good at kissing and/or sitting on wieners but you don't want a hooker to do a chiropractic adjustment on you as they are barely qualified enough to help you make bathroom on the carpet then get hot towel.

I admit I love reading the tabloid headlines. Always gives me a pick-me-up to my midday. If it's good enough I'll start a conversation with the person standing in front of me waving the paper. I picked this one up then read/said aloud, "KATE GOSSLIN'S HELL HOUSE! It's a Hell House because Kate...

This year's honor goes to Phil Swift and all the uses for Flex Seal that he doesn't mention on the TV.

Some things I have a hard time connecting with no matter how popular. As far as music, I never got into The Beatles, The Who, or Led Zeppelin even though I am a fan of Black Sabbath, The Rolling Stones, and The Doors. On TV, I've never seen an episode of Seinfeld, Friends, or MASH. For movies, I...

I can't remember. Ten minutes are fine but much more than that puts me to *****. I've nodded off in front of the computer with porno on more than anything else I can remember. At best, I enjoy the free clip, then call and pay someone else for a fuck. Must be frustrating to call that type of...

Enough of that nonsense. Too much of the same. Neither one means anything to the point there is no difference except one digit. Stop it!

Honey-Nut Cheerios for me. Great in cold milk and also grab a dry handful for a snack. $4.99 at the Ralph's for ****** Size Box

I've not known so I wait awhile before opening the door then swing my wiener around to the side of the the microwave avoiding the light while leaning over with my arm and using the handle to open the door to retrieve my well-earned TV Dinner. A Chicken Pot Pie takes 10 minutes 30 seconds to make...

Hope I'm not the only one. Not sure if I jerked off 15 minutes ago or am planning a jerk in about 15 minutes. I think the solution is to further confuse myself until the point of arousal or re-arousal whichever comes first or cums best.

I got Freddy. Wolverine taps out by way of psychological ******.

I broke up with this one gal because she had infomercial hands. She waved her mitts around like she was lost in thought imagining that she was speaking in front of 400 people. She reveled in her sadism doing the quote/unquote thing with her fingers seemingly only to infuriate me.

I close the door when I masturbate but not when making number two.

If that *** were a bat boy it would have nothing to do with baseball. Imagine what a little asshole he'll be at 14.

Helps me ***** so I definitely do. I look for the path of least resistance not trying to making the session too strenuous like some of the other ones that day.