I caught this a couple years ago on Netflix, and I have to agree. I had long heard what an awesome, legendary piece of cinema this was. After wandering around aimlessly for over an hour, the movie decides to kind of have a plot. Seemed more like producers decided Audrey Hepburn needed a place to play in front of cameras. Not my cup of tea, either.
What is the latest BAD film you watched?
- Thread starter PlumpRump
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I caught this a couple years ago on Netflix, and I have to agree. I had long heard what an awesome, legendary piece of cinema this was. After wandering around aimlessly for over an hour, the movie decides to kind of have a plot. Seemed more like producers decided Audrey Hepburn needed a place to play in front of cameras. Not my cup of tea, either.
I know what you're thinking.... no, this didn't get him banned. But it fucking well should have.
OK, ... that hits home for me.
Sharknado...pure shit I knew it would be; however, I figured it may be slightly entertaining, but alas it was not.
Matilda with my daughter on Netflix.
Danny DeVito should have his head examined for starring in this.
Danny DeVito should have his head examined for starring in this.
Patrick_S
persona non grata
Technically, the last bad film I watched was Transformers 4.
Here are my reasons why it's a bad film (warning.... spoilers ahead) :
* Most of the first hour of the film is dedicated to introducing and establishing the human characters, none of whom are likeable or particularly interesting. It's a horrific waiting game for the serious robot action, which is what serious Transformers fans care about. We don't give a shit about the puny flesh creatures.
* Speaking of the humans, the storyline between Marky Mark, his daughter and the fake Irishman is basically a misogynistic battle for ownership of the girl between the two male leads. There is also a particularly distasteful scene where Michael Bay attempts to use legalese to justify sexualizing a 17 year old character, which of course is a minor in the primary market for the film, even though she would be far game over here. It's pretty wrong.
* The dialogue at places is fucking terrible. In particular the humour is usually misguided and in one particular scene completely out of place juxtaposed to the peril that the three human leads are in. It's not funny, it's dumb, and in a life or death situation real people simply wouldn't talk the way Cade and his daughter do, dangling precariously above the city while being pursued by snarling robot beasts. Also, "Transformium" is a really shitty name for the Transformers' base metal. For a franchise fond of lifting stuff from the cartoon canon, they really should have gone with Cybertonium.
* The way that all the Autobots that survived the end of the third film are just written out with the exception of Prime, Bumblebee and Ratchet is particularly lazy and/or soulless. Many of us really liked Sideswipe or Mirage/Dino or at least thought they were cool, if he was going to kill them, he should have at least killed them on screen.
* "The bounty hunter" is not expanded on for the explanation of who Lockdown is, and a large portion of that part of the plot just feels like cynical setup for another film to cater to people that want the answers. Also on Lockdown, the plot lurches violently around not sure exactly who or what the main antagonist/threat actually is. Lockdown fucks off for a bit before returning at the end, and it's generally really disjointed.
* Drift being Japanese is just asinine. In addition, calling him that instead of "Crosshairs" when you're going to use "Crosshairs" as a name in the film is really stupid. Crosshairs in G1 was a 'copter, shall we call the 'copter in this film Crosshairs? Fuck it... Crosshairs is a car, let's call the 'copter Drift. And make him Japanese.
* Introducing Galvatron if he isn't going to be the primary villain is a massive misfire. I do understand why, it's so there is enough scope for another film where he IS the main threat to the Autobots, but again, that's weak.
* 50 KSI clones are introduced in place of "trueborn" Decepticons. No names, personalities or dialogues, with only the similarly soulless Stinger, Galvatron and Lockdown having any real meaning beyond cannon fodder. As such, by my count you get to see 44 clones killed in various manners on screen even before Prime activates Lockdown's grenade. In the original installment there were only 7 Decepticons and you only saw 5 decisively killed on screen (Frenzy, Bonecrusher, Brawl, Blackout and Megatron). Every one of those deaths had more meaning than the 44 "clone" deaths combined. I mean, who gives a shit?
* The trailers made us all moist for the Dinobots, and while the portion they are in the film is kick-ass, it's nowhere near long enough to justify the hype.
* The film is way too long. My arse wasn't numb the way it got during Dark Of The Moon but it's still way too long. Cutting out the annoying bits where the stupid humans are talking to each other, you can do all the robot bits in 1 hour 10.
Having said all that and acknowledged that it's a bad film..... I still enjoyed it because I'm a Transformers dork, there were enough fun bits to keep me amused, and even though they were fairly meaningless deaths, I still got a kick out of Drift cutting a clone clean in half with his sword or Strafe eating Stinger's head.
Here are my reasons why it's a bad film (warning.... spoilers ahead) :
* Most of the first hour of the film is dedicated to introducing and establishing the human characters, none of whom are likeable or particularly interesting. It's a horrific waiting game for the serious robot action, which is what serious Transformers fans care about. We don't give a shit about the puny flesh creatures.
* Speaking of the humans, the storyline between Marky Mark, his daughter and the fake Irishman is basically a misogynistic battle for ownership of the girl between the two male leads. There is also a particularly distasteful scene where Michael Bay attempts to use legalese to justify sexualizing a 17 year old character, which of course is a minor in the primary market for the film, even though she would be far game over here. It's pretty wrong.
* The dialogue at places is fucking terrible. In particular the humour is usually misguided and in one particular scene completely out of place juxtaposed to the peril that the three human leads are in. It's not funny, it's dumb, and in a life or death situation real people simply wouldn't talk the way Cade and his daughter do, dangling precariously above the city while being pursued by snarling robot beasts. Also, "Transformium" is a really shitty name for the Transformers' base metal. For a franchise fond of lifting stuff from the cartoon canon, they really should have gone with Cybertonium.
* The way that all the Autobots that survived the end of the third film are just written out with the exception of Prime, Bumblebee and Ratchet is particularly lazy and/or soulless. Many of us really liked Sideswipe or Mirage/Dino or at least thought they were cool, if he was going to kill them, he should have at least killed them on screen.
* "The bounty hunter" is not expanded on for the explanation of who Lockdown is, and a large portion of that part of the plot just feels like cynical setup for another film to cater to people that want the answers. Also on Lockdown, the plot lurches violently around not sure exactly who or what the main antagonist/threat actually is. Lockdown fucks off for a bit before returning at the end, and it's generally really disjointed.
* Drift being Japanese is just asinine. In addition, calling him that instead of "Crosshairs" when you're going to use "Crosshairs" as a name in the film is really stupid. Crosshairs in G1 was a 'copter, shall we call the 'copter in this film Crosshairs? Fuck it... Crosshairs is a car, let's call the 'copter Drift. And make him Japanese.
* Introducing Galvatron if he isn't going to be the primary villain is a massive misfire. I do understand why, it's so there is enough scope for another film where he IS the main threat to the Autobots, but again, that's weak.
* 50 KSI clones are introduced in place of "trueborn" Decepticons. No names, personalities or dialogues, with only the similarly soulless Stinger, Galvatron and Lockdown having any real meaning beyond cannon fodder. As such, by my count you get to see 44 clones killed in various manners on screen even before Prime activates Lockdown's grenade. In the original installment there were only 7 Decepticons and you only saw 5 decisively killed on screen (Frenzy, Bonecrusher, Brawl, Blackout and Megatron). Every one of those deaths had more meaning than the 44 "clone" deaths combined. I mean, who gives a shit?
* The trailers made us all moist for the Dinobots, and while the portion they are in the film is kick-ass, it's nowhere near long enough to justify the hype.
* The film is way too long. My arse wasn't numb the way it got during Dark Of The Moon but it's still way too long. Cutting out the annoying bits where the stupid humans are talking to each other, you can do all the robot bits in 1 hour 10.
Having said all that and acknowledged that it's a bad film..... I still enjoyed it because I'm a Transformers dork, there were enough fun bits to keep me amused, and even though they were fairly meaningless deaths, I still got a kick out of Drift cutting a clone clean in half with his sword or Strafe eating Stinger's head.
The Descent 2
Just so stupid.
Just so stupid.
Mr. Daystar
In a bell tower, watching you through cross hairs.
Pacific Rim. The cheesiest, of old school monster movies is still easier to watch.
[NOBABE]Little Nicky[/NOBABE] (2000)
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