Things you learn by watching porn

[eGrodin]

Here are things at least I learnt, and it could very well reflect real life. random.

1. All women sound A LOT while having sex.

2. Women smiles appreciating when men spray their cum in their faces.

3. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middleage, men. (that includes Ron Jeremy)

4. Women groans while giving a blowjob.

5. Women come at the same time as men.

6. Nurses always give their patients blowjobs.

7. Women have to remind him, while being fucked, to fuck her. “FUCK ME”

8. Women have to tell him, while being fucked, how to fuck her.

9. Women look happily surprized when they pull down a man’s pants and find a dick.

10. Women barely speaks.

11. Women never pull out.

12. Women always beg for more.

13. Women looks at you (into the camera) now and then while having sex with a man in a room, as if you were a second person. ????

14. The only woman in a room with men usually gets fucked, by one of them, two of them or by ALL.

15. Men moans “OH YEAH!” when “it’s going for them.”

16. Men have to remind her, while being given a blowjob, to suck his dick. “SUCK ME”

17. Men never beg for it.

18. Men always pull out.

19. Men are never impotent.

20. Men triggers a woman by open her pussy and spit hard on it.

21. If two men participates they do the “high-five” or thumbs up.

22. Asian men don’t exist.

23. When a man is taking a woman from behind, he spanks her butt to trigger her even more.

24. An always-appreciated sexual practice for a man is slapping his half-erect penis over and over on the woman’s butt.

25. If your girlfriend “catch you in the act” with her best friend, she’s only mad at you for a while before she fucks both of you.

26. Wherever you are condoms are always accessible.

27. Those breasts are real.

28. Assholes are clean.

29. A blowjob is a great way to beat speeding tickets.

30. A pizza delivery guy always delivers more than just pizza.

31. There must be music in background.
The euro-ibiza-techno-drum-pulse, Nnnntzzzz…. Nnnntzzzz…. Nnnntzzzz…. Nnnntzzzz…. Nnnntzzzz…. Nnnntzzzz…. Nnnntzzzz…. Nnnntzzzz….Nnnntzzzz…. is always appreciated

32. … which proves men and women have no sense of rythm while banging.


I’m out of ideas so fill it out for me:crash:

 

[Legzman]

would be nice if that's how it worked in real life! I actually learned how to eat pussy watchin porn before I ever even did it myself...they always get off too! Porn is educational!

 

[JiDoKwan]

I tried that whole walking up to a girl and saying "Hi, mind if I put it in your ass?" line once only to be bitch-slapped silly.:dunno: :o
Then again maybe she was just a militant lesbian who hated men....I dunno

 

[KungFuDude]

- All women like it in the ass.

- Hispanic women are known only as latinas and they are always employed as maids.

- Being a teacher is the greatest job...EVER!

21. If two men participates they do the “high-five” or thumbs up.

22. Asian men don’t exist.

28. Assholes are clean.

:1orglaugh

 

[Clarkie25]

I learned that watchin baseball on a Saturday afternoon just isn't as exciting as it used to be

 

[Calm]

I laughed my ass off at 22. :1orglaugh

- All women like it in the ass.

Krystal Steal doesn't.

 

[Civickiller80]

LMAO great list

 

[Big P13]

I laughed my ass off at 22. :1orglaugh

That one got me too!:rofl:

 

[Irony]

No.12 is the one in that set that is sooo true lol

 

[Tgunz262]

22 is the best. :thumbsup:

- School Grades always improve with sex

- There is only one activity during detention

- In fact, a sizeable portion of the industry is based on Van Halen's "Hot For Teacher"

 

[KungFuDude]

I learned that watchin baseball on a Saturday afternoon just isn't as exciting as it used to be

Huh You learned that from watching porn? LOL


Anyway I do agree that baseball Saturdays on Fox does kinda suck...:dunno:

 

[arealous]

Man, #22 sure sucks for me

 

[eGrodin]

I learned that watchin baseball on a Saturday afternoon just isn't as exciting as it used to be

Huh You learned that from watching porn? LOL


Anyway I do agree that baseball Saturdays on Fox does kinda suck...:dunno:

did you mean "cough "Janet" cough "Jackson" cough, cough :boobies: ??

???????????? or !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! little confused

 

[9inch]

nice post Scarface6, that was quite funny

 

[pussy+dickdenice]

WE try to forget what he learnt.

pd & dd

 

[Pariah000]

i learnt that you have to open your mouth before making lip contact in a kiss to make it a good one, and to also lessen the chance of your gf ripping your kissing apart with her besties.....thats it lol. i talk to my partner about how much tongue she likes. or rather, i WOULD talk, ive only ever kissed one chick and we never talked lol

 

[Legzman]

- your best friends mom always wants to fuck!

 

[KungFuDude]

did you mean "cough "Janet" cough "Jackson" cough, cough :boobies: ??

???????????? or !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! little confused

A little? Geesus, you went from porn, to baseball, to the Superbowl wardrobe malfunction?? :wtf: :1orglaugh

 

[eGrodin]

A little? Geesus, you went from porn, to baseball, to the Superbowl wardrobe malfunction?? :wtf: :1orglaugh

OK, OK DUDE, scratch that one....

 

[eGrodin]

adding

33. Men wear Calvin Klein.

34. Women have weird names.

35. Men and women have no age.