Strip club ediquette..
So I have been thinking about this lately while I am at wk..I would like to share my thoughts with you..
1. Please don't grab our hair/rub fingers underneath.CHances are you may fuck up our hair extensions.
2.DO not shake our hands so tight that u almost break a nail.CHances are we have acrylic nails on.
3. Yes the boobs are fake.ANd so is my tan,my nails,my hair color,my hair,and my lashes..But my attitude is fucking REAL!
4.Keep in mind..We do this for YOU,the customer.I want to look my best.If I took all the fake off,I still look nice.But I look adorable and cute,girl next door look.I fake it up to look glamerous and like a stripper.
5.Here's where I don't win..U ask me if I have a boyfriend.I tell u ,"No" and u don't blieve me bcause u say I am too pretty not to.So what u mean is all pretty girls have boyfriends all the time? It's abnormal that we r single? I usually reply with,"DId it ever occur to u that I am crazy and noone wants to date me that I am into? ANd if I say I have a boyfriend,then u don't want to sit and talk w me.So guys,don't ask bcause u will blieve what u want to blieve.ANd besides,some girls will fuck u at a strip club/outside of one even if they do have a boyfriend so u may be turning away that.
6.Every night I wk. u ask me how old I am.I tell u 31 and u never blieve me..I always reply with,"What would b my motive to tell u I am THAT age? I understand if I told u I was 21.But 31? ANd then u say,"No,I don't blieve u".It's getting old.Just accept it my fucking age.yes I look young.It's probably bcause I am 5'0,I have taken great care of my skin,I never smoked cigarettes,I don't smoke anything,I don't drink very often and when I did it was only a few times a month..
7. Please don't smack our asses when we dance for u.What gives u the right? It fucking hurts bcause ur so godamn coked up,u don't realise how fucking hard u do that! A little pat on my ass is good enough.
8.Please make sure u put gum in your mouth,or have fresh breath bfore talking to me.
9. U will ask me why I will not go home with u.I tell u why and u r pissed w my answer.If a guy in a strip club asked your sister to go home w her,would u feel comfortable w that? Here's what I say," I don't kNow u.Ted Bundy was a nice guy and he was handsome as well,U can possibly rape or kill me.I make enough $ as a stripper and I don't need to risk my life for an extra a few hundred." Stop wasting ur time trying to convince me,just move on to the next stripper and hope she is a dumb one.
10. If u sit at the stage,it is common sense to tip! ANd $1 a song? What about inflation? I was getting $1 when I started dancing in 96! And don't put the $ in your mouth! That's disgusting! Think about all the germs.ANd no,I will not take ur dollar with my mouth.And stop waiving your DOllar bill at me while expecting a 1 min. special dance just for u.Start tipping several dollars a 5,10,or 20 if u want a more special dance then all the other guys watching.And I can't spend my whole 3 min. song giving U all the attn. when there are other guys..Unless u give me a decent tip.And if u tell me how to move around(Oh I hate it when they take their pointer finger and circle it as to say,"Let me see ur ass") I will tell u to fuck off.I am a puppet at wk for sure.But not that much of a puppet.I will look hot for u,I will spend $ on the finest outfits,pay to get my hair and makeup done sometimes by the artist that wks there.I will smile even when I am depressed or angry.I will act fun.But,I will not go home w u or back to ur hotel.I will not bend over when u tell me to,kiss ur ass,or show u my tits when u haven't shown me any money.
11. For all the really unattractive guys who sometimes smell bad,Esp. the ones who never show me the $.Why r u surprised when a girl that looks like me tells u I won't date u for free????? U promise a free dinner and fun? I'd rather pay for my own meal and hang out w a cute guy,or my friends.Where the hell does an ugly fuck like u get all that self esteem? Please tell me it's the coke talking.
12. Now,there r girls that will go home w the customer so I can see why u ask.But not me.Yes,I have fucked guys at strip clubs b 4.Thats when I work the naughty clubs.I don't do that shit when I wk for the clean clubs.Esp. bcause what u don't know is there r hidden cameras everywhere.And yes,we the dancer know where they r so the clubs arent just telling us that.But when a girl says no and u try to get her drunk so she says yes..That will b held up in court later so dont b stupid.
13. Most strippers hate when u ball up the $ and trow it at us.We are not animals at the zoo.And even then,u shouldn't treat animals like that either.They only like that at the ghetto clubs.
14. If I am wking at a club that doesn't allow bottoms off."No,I cannot flash u my pussy.I will get fired,and look like a slut".There may not be any floor guys looking,but there are video cameras.
15. Most clubs charge $20 a lap dance(Where I wk).An extra 5 is always nice.And if one of the floor guys brought me over(Or sent me there w/o u seeing that) I have to tip him for that.Not to mention some clubs(I cannot blieve it's legal) take $5 + out of each dance.U can always ask a dancer,"R u going to b able to keep all this money or do u have to share it"?
16. Please don't ask to kiss us.We hate that! That's gross.Do u want to kiss strippers that kiss other guys all night if they r kissing u? Kissing is so passionate and beautiful.ANd to me,should only be done w someone I am really sexually atttracted to.ANd not at wk.Did u see "Pretty WOmen"? Even when I wked at the Bunny Ranch I didnt kiss.And the middle eastern men ask for kisses the most.Why? Their women have to do everything they tell them to.So cant they ask their women for kisses? ANd do not kiss me all over my neck and body.The slobber is gross.ANd I will tell u that and make u go home and cry.So dont umbarrass urself.And if u tell me,"SOme of the strippers like that".They r lying to u.They like ur $,not ur slobber.
17.When u say,"Let me touch ur pussy,that other girl let me".Chances r the girl isnt going to say,"Oh,o.k well if she let u than I will too:.We know that trick.U say that bcause u think we want to compete and b the sluttier stripper.U dumbass.
18. When u say,"I know the business,the whole deal here.I used to date a stripper/fuck one,I'm friends w one,I know the owner,etc.."I know what u r trying to say to me.U want to let me kno that ur ex wife pulled a fast one on u and u arent going to let any dumb stripper scam u out of $." Wa-wa-wa..Whats the scam? U enter a strip club.At that point u should know that u don't have to give anyone of us $ unless u want.There is no scam. U ask how much a dance is.We dance for u,u hand over the $.we walk away.Did I just take advantage of u? The min. u walk in a club u r saying,"I am going to pay extra $ for my booze bcause I am getting the entertainment of women who arent going to nag me,ask me to thake the garbage out,and walk around in curlers and slippers like my wife.
Here's an end note..Let me tell u what it costs to Be a stripper.Bcause u guys seem to think we make TONS of $ and are rich..
DO u have any idea how much a year I spend on Psychiatrist appts. for being in this industry? My psychologist,meds(I am off/on all the time),My makeup which is MAC(A very expensive brand that most strippers use),my outfits(I cant blieve some guys think they supply us w that),the makeup/hair ppl that do us up at wk on the wknds),tipping the floorhosts/DJ/house fee(The clubs charge us to wk.I usually pay $60 a night),the house mom,doorguy,my hair extensions which are very expensive,my acrylic nail appts.my pedicures so my feet are pretty for u.ALso,the business is now oversaturated.There are new strip clubs opening all the time,Girls in high school waiting to be old enough to b a stripper.There r too many girls willing to be the slut I have been for 13 years! I was ridiculed for being a stripper back in 96.Now everyone wants to do it.The $ is not as good anymore.ANd our economy sux now so we dont make as much as u think.
My fucking feet hurt for standing on those clear super high heels all night.
BTW:When u r married(And u either tell me or have a ring) and ask why I wont date u.R u fucking silly? Cause ur ass will cheat on me too! Anyways.I am finally done.I feel like this was very necessary.If 20 ppl read this,and post and copy and tell their friends..I may see more $ on stage,not have guys try to kiss me,get a bigger tip after a dance,not get my ass slapped hard,I may just enjoy my job a little more.I don't mind being the "model" or giving a lap dance.But I just want u to see what we do for u.Chances are,your wife doesnt go out of her way to look her best/spend so much $ ont he way she looks.We do all that for u and we expect to be treated well.
Thank u,Neesa.The crazy fucking former porn film actress who's feet hurt from dancing for 13 years!