I've got it... If you wanted this to be the worst movie ever made, you would simply have to cast Nicholas Cage as the tire. Not [NOBABE]the voice[/NOBABE] of the tire, the actual fucking tire. He'd accept the roll in a heartbeat, too.
I honestly thought about putting that in there when I posted it, but I was like "no, that's way too fucking stupid, and I'm way to respected and looked up to around here".