Insert caption to porn thread
**Katie Kush and the BBC are snogging in the bathroom as she asks to be carried away**Katie Kush being carried away
**Carry me baby. I want to jump into your arms**
Guy: Jump baby**
**She jumps and misjudges her timing and gets impaled on his cock**
Katie: Owy, Owy. I went on it too fast
**They snog each other as she is in the air but the guy notices she has her shoes on**
Guy: You still got your shoes on? You not taking them off?
Katie: Hmm, about that. I'm not a big feet person and am very self conscious about my feet. Hope you don't mind.
**They snog some more**
Katie: Take me to the bed
**Guy tries to proceed taking her to the bed but drops her out of the apartment door butt naked with her shoes on for the others to see in the hallway**
Katie: WTF!!! Let me back in!!
Guy: You crazy. I don't want to get the bed dirty. Who knows where your shoes has been and what you stepped on. I don't want another Amber Heard on my hands!!!
Katie: I want to bounce on your cock stud
**The guy picks her up and places her on the cock**
Katie: I'm going to ride you out
Guy: I'm sure you won't and you be tired before me
**She rides him out harder and faster**
**1 minute goes past**
Katie: Tired yet!!!
Guy: Not yet!!!
**Guy thrusts into Katie harder**
**Eventually 30 minutes went past and the guy was feeling tired and Katie was feeling nothing but sweat**
Guy: Can we stop now!!!
Katie: Sure!!
**Guy collapses in exhaustion as Katie was to slot off**
**Katie dusts herself off and it cuts into a commercial**
Katie: For you ladies out there, if you have a very high sexual appetitive like i do and from what you seen... you want to make sure your fella can last. So why not give your fella some Kushed energy drink. Unlike other energy drinks, this is the best for sexual endurance if you want to keep your fella going. This isn't about having a big hard dick, it's about being able to last and keep going
**She sips the drink and shows to the camera**
Katie: This is brilliant and ladies, you can drink it too
**Katie shouts to her co star who on the floor**
Katie: Ok dude, you can get up now!!
**Guy is still down tired and passed out**
**Katie smiles and laughs nervously to the camera**
Katie: Bye guys
**waves**
**Guy picks up Katie to slot on his cock but he was struggling to fit it in**
Katie: Baby your USB not compatible with this device. Your USB 3.0 dick can't fit in this 2.0 pussy slot**
Guy: FFS
**Guy is frustrated and tries to slot it in**
**Katie screams**
Katie: Don't try and damage my pussy slot by forcing it in. It just won't be compatible. You need a 2.0 USB to enter me.
ban-one
Works for panties
Andi Land 👩🎤
This lunch break is gonna take all afternoon
And half the night
Tomorrow morning I know there'll be hell to pay
Hey, but that's all right
Ain't had a day off now in over a year
My Jamaican vacation's gonna start right here
If the phone's for me, you can tell 'em I just sailed away
And pour me something tall and strong
Make it a Hurricane before I go insane
It's only half-past twelve, but I don't care...
It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere
I could pay off my tab, pour myself in a cab
And be back to work before 2
At a moment like this, I can't help but wonder...
What would Jimmy Buffett do?
I'd say pour me something tall and strong
Make it a Hurricane before I go insane
It's only half-past 12, but I don't care...
It's 5 o'clock somewhere
It's always 5 o'clock in Margaritaville, come to think of it...
There's booze in the blender
And soon it will render
That frozen concoction that helps me hang on...
Wastin' away again in Margaritaville
Searching for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there's a wo-man to blame
But I know...., it's my own damn fault
Yes, and, some people claim that there's a wo-man to blame
And I know..., it's my own damn fault
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Andi: How would you like this ice cream that has been made out of my own liquids?
Lana Sharapova enters a house
Lana Sharapova laughing about something
Lana Sharapova nipples being flicked
Lana Sharapova and guy feeling each other
Guy taking forever to take his pants off for Lana Sharapova
Lana Sharapova laughing about something
Lana Sharapova nipples being flicked
Lana Sharapova and guy feeling each other
Guy taking forever to take his pants off for Lana Sharapova
Lana Sharapova looking concerned for guy as he puts down couch
Lana Sharapova thoughts on his skills
Lana Sharapova conversation at end
Lana Sharapova thoughts on his skills
Lana Sharapova conversation at end
**Lana Sharapova walks in the house after her eye test and has been declared blind**
Lana: Let's see how my eyes are
**Takes her glasses off to see how well she can see**
Lana: It's not too bad!!! I don't need them
**She walks up on the stairs and slips hurting badly as she holds her knee**
Lana: FFS guess i am blind now
**Inner thoughts shout out loud
Lana inner thoughts: At least you can look on the bright side?
Lana: What bright side? I can't even see any sides let alone a bright side. It's all dark and can't tell my left from my right?
**She gets upset and then sees something positive**
Lana: I guess when having sex i can avoid getting pink eye from all them facials i get while shooting
**Guy puts Lana's hands near his cock and asks for a feel**
Guy: Feel that Lana
**Lana touches and she laughs**
Lana: What is that, what am i touching here? Can't feel anything
**Laughs more**
Guy: That's strange. Unhook my trousers and belt
**Lana laughs more**
Lana: What am i your Mom? I'm not opening your pants for you? I thought you are a man who can do it himself?
Guy: You don't understand it's stuck i can't pull it down
*Lana laughs more hysterically as he is left hanging and she leaves**
**Guy flicks Lana's nipples on her tits and every time she changes moodLana Sharapova nipples being flicked
Guy: Oooh what does this button do
**He flicks it one time on up position and Lana gives off turned on emotions**
Lana: I'm so turned on now
**They kiss and he touches her nipple again and flicks it down and she changes her mood**
Lana: What you doing get off me?
**He flicks it again and she turned on again. He switches between these**
Guy: Turned on, turned off, turned on, turned off!!!
**He pays attention to one of her nipples, but doesn't pay attention to the other one till now.
Guy: Oooh what does this button do?
**He flicks it and notices nothing at first but secretly it lights up the lights in the corridor**
Lana: You do know how to push my buttons!!!
**Guy had a pet snake too**
Hamster: Bet you wish you were me 😜
Lacey Black: Want me to charm and handle your snake?
Lacey: Want me to pet your snake?
Guy: Sure!!!
**Lacey starts to pet his cock**
Guy: What are you doing? Thats not my snake, its right here?
**Lacey feels embarrassed**
Lacey: Oh opps sorry, i misread the signals. Thought you was giving me the ok for me to pet your snake(your cock)
Guy: I don't think you would want that. My snake would shoot lots of white venom on you if surprised
Lana Sharapova, enters: Hello?? Lana, your sexual surrogate is here.
LS, laughing: Well ..SOMEONE'S happy I'm here!!
LS, flicked: It's been a while since I've played with a woman's tits..
LS, feeling: *I* am ready to go! Let me get you lubed up.
LS, pants: (ha, ha; he took off his socks, too!)
LS, laughing: Well ..SOMEONE'S happy I'm here!!
LS, flicked: It's been a while since I've played with a woman's tits..
LS, feeling: *I* am ready to go! Let me get you lubed up.
LS, pants: (ha, ha; he took off his socks, too!)
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Lana Sharapova, concerned: Okay .. how do you want me?
LS, skills: So .. we're going to "sauntering-town," vs. "pound-town.."
LS, convo: All right; success! You should be comfortable with a woman, again.
LS, skills: So .. we're going to "sauntering-town," vs. "pound-town.."
LS, convo: All right; success! You should be comfortable with a woman, again.
**Lana and the guy playing a game of who can make their opponent cum 1st.**
Lana: I think i will make you cum before you can to me?
**She rubs his dick and stokes it with her hand**
Guy: You bet, you easily leak out like a sieve
**Rubs her pussy**
**They both try and kiss each other to help to their advantage**
**They both came at same time**
Guy and Lana: Who won though? We came at same time?
**They look at the referee who asks to look for an action reply with a VAR decision**
Referee: This is a close one but as much as Lana is covered with cum, if we slow it down we see his cum shoot out 1st. Therefore he loses the match**
Lana: See, told you i can make you cum before me.
**Guy was about to do it to his long time crush Lana Sharapova*
Guy: Can't believe we get to do this. Finally. Let me take this off**
**Lana is already sitting naked, ready and is not amused with how long he is taking. She does a lil smile and thinks to herself**
Lana: God he is slow, i can see he has not done this before
Guy: I can't take these off. It so tough
Lana: Urgh. Why taking so long. This is why you don't wear tight pants. It harder to take off. Come on, i want dick
**Guy is still struggling**
Guy: Damn these tight levi jeans
Lana: Sighs. I could be deep in dick right now
**Lana is bored and leaves him too it**
Lana: I'm going to the living room to watch tv, and do other things while you solve this. Call me when you are done
**Guy still struggles to take his pants off**
**Lana Sharapova was about to have sex and was expecting her 1st time with her latest fella to be a certain way**
Lana: Let's go to your bedroom and really kick things off!!!
Guy: Why go to the bedroom, when you can bring the bedroom here!!!
**He pulls down the couch for it to turn into a bed and brings her down to lay down**
Guy: Lay down my sweet!!!
**Lana feels concerned**
Lana: Hmm okkkkkkk. Don't know why you want to do it here?
**Lana thinking in her mind, is he poor, does he not have money for an actual bed?**
Guy: Something unorthodox is always sexy. Plus i don't have a tv in my bedroom and this way i can watch the game also at same time
**Moments later while watching the game, there been communication issues where when he was cheering and booing, he was talking to the game rather than Lana**
**Lana being fucked on the couch. Little did she know her fella is a legs man**
Guy: Let's go Lana, let me show you my fave part of you**
**He holds on to her legs and humps her. Lana was enjoying it at 1st but quickly changed her mood**
**Unenthusiastic moans she does
Lana: Oh yeah...oh oh......
**Lana thoughts in her head played**
Lana: OMG, he so boring. Just focusing on the most boring part, the legs. Thought most people would want to grab the tits and ass. If he was all legs i didn't had to be naked for this. A skirt could have done the job
Lana: ZZZZZZZZZ
**Lana slept as the guy just humped her till he came**
**Lana gives guy feedback after his performance**Lana Sharapova conversation at end
Guy: So how well did i do?
**Lana smiles**
Lana: Well for your 1st lesson i say you was very impressive. You know how to use your cock well, made the most of all my body.....
**Guy nods**
Guy: Uh uh, but any constructive feedback?
Lana: Yes, i was going to say something which i hope you can improve on next time. You came great, however it's not thick as i would like it to be. I want it to be very thick and sticky, yours is very watery
**Guy takes it as a bad thing**
**Lana reassures him**
Lana: No don't take this bad. You did a good job, made a huge mess. Sometimes us women love to show off how much they been cummed on and it very hard to show off very liquid like cum unless you look up close, maybe with a magnifying glass. Got to remember a great cum load is 50% feeling and 50% visual. You got the feeling right cause i felt alot of warm cum all over me. It just the visual, i want to have thick sticky white cum all over me next time and for people to see it.
Guy: Noted i will make sure i do this next time. Any tips on how i can help with that?
Lana: Yeah exercise and better diet. So need to lay off the Mcdonalds cause unlike a happy meal, i'm not lovin it
**Alarm goes off**
Lana: That seems to be the end of our session. Remember what i told you and see you next week
**Guy takes his pointers for next session and works on his cum**
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