You are treated like shit at your job, to the point no sane man would stay. So, why are you still there? Put your needs first, if you have to leave, leave.
As for the girl. Leave.
Blunt and to the point, but clearly youve reached a juncture in the relationship and theres a pretty deep rift been dug. Intentionally or accidentally I dont know, but alot of major shit has happened in to short a space of time to play happy families after.
Im mr negativity at the best of time, but I seriously think its time to move on. Its all well and good playing the "I love her" card, but thats not enough anymore these days. You dont seem very compatible, especially if you are being immasuclated during a sexual act.
For the love of god man, she has your cock in her hand and is letting you know shes in charge. Imagine that for the rest of your life.
Leave.