How would you react...

[Imagine]

I have neither, but hypothetically: Not well.

Wife: Outrage at being lied to and possible divorce depending on the circumstances. If it's hardcore stuff, I'm out (I'm not sure how I'd react to girl/girl only, it feels less... insulting, somehow, to consider). If it's just modeling, I could get over it. In either case, not being told about it would be a fairly major issue though.
Daughter: Disappointment, probably a bit of shame and guilt over my role as a father initially, but I think I'd grudgingly accept it eventually. It's her life and she can live it however she wants.

 

[prof_porn]

your in porn?

Sadly not. But I know reputable production houses run monthly STD checks etc. Hence, its relatively safe.

Imagine,

Dont you find stuff like Met Art amazingly tasteful?

Limited to such forms, I'd not disapprove, if not entirely approving.

Hardcore stuff....maybe, I can see the social blowback.

 

[Imagine]

Like I said, modeling I could learn to live with. I have no moral qualms about dating an adult model or actress, though I would not necessarily want to depending on the situation. That I was not informed prior to her participation is another matter though.

 

[assholebythedoor]

Sadly not. But I know reputable production houses run monthly STD checks etc. Hence, its relatively safe.

Imagine,

Dont you find stuff like Met Art amazingly tasteful?

Limited to such forms, I'd not disapprove, if not entirely approving.

Hardcore stuff....maybe, I can see the social blowback.

ah yes, it is amazingly tasteful, even if a girl has done hardcore but has taken care of herself for quite a while she could do some softcore. Even though that reputition would stick with her. Woman are art, some take for granted that they are woman and some don't.

 

[prof_porn]

Hypothetically, if I had a daughter, I'd not want her growing up being embarrassed by her womanhood. If she was beautiful as the met art / ftv girls (societal judgement, not personal-obviously), and wanted to celebrate that by being confidant and public in her sexuality-its mentally a positive.

Ditto any wife I may one day land, I'd rather she was confidant in the amazing power of her femininity. I used to be quite conservative (small c), but have come to see the glory of the human form.

 

[calpoon]

the homophobia in this thread is disgusting.

the only issues that I'd have would be with the dishonesty. It's no wonder that most of you don't have wives or children and you probably never will with such attitudes of disrespect for other people's lifestyle choices.

i'd rep you if I could enterpri3e for your enlightened POV.

 

[prof_porn]

Homophobia?

No one has said I bad word to anyone.

 

[Imagine]

Gee, thanks.

 

[prof_porn]

It's no wonder that most of you don't have wives or children and you probably never will with such attitudes of disrespect for other people's lifestyle choices.

Or it could be most of us are mid 20's, fresh out of academic life...and not yet chosen to settle down. Yeah, could be that.

Moral police are as bad as thought police. You are being both!

 

[D-rock]

I wouldn't have a problem with somebody that modeled, even if it was explicit. There isn't that much of a stigma attached to it today and I think most guys ether wouldn't have a problem with it or could easily get over it. As far as being in a relationship with an active pornstar, there is just no way that would ever come close to happening. Saying it would be a deal-breaker would be an understatement. I highly doubt that I would even have one with a retired pornstar. At a certain level there is something about people that will totally sell out and have sex with basically anybody, almost no matter how much of scum they are, for money that I find a less than a good trait in a person.

If I ever had one, I would never disown one of my children, short of them going and deciding to burn down an orphanage with the kids in it or something equally gruesome, but I also wouldn't want them in porn. I wouldn't be the morality police with my adult children, but I also know how absolutely ruthless and crappy the hardcore adult world is and wouldn't want them subjected to the things that go on in it. They would deserve than that.

 

[José_3]

...if you found out your wife/daughter were in the porn biz?

Not an easy question.
Are you asking if someone is already married and finds out by accident (unlikely) or has this wife become a porn actor since the wedding?

What do those who are parents here say?

I have two grown up children, a boy and a girl.
Whatever they do is up to them and I would have no problem with whatever they choose.

If either of my wives had wanted to become a porn actor, I would have wanted some side benefits.

It's doubtful that many people really know how they would react if faced with the dilemma and younger people jump to conclusions that are based on lack of experience, especially guys.

If being in porn is likely to raise ones lifestyle to a level that is better that one has, I see nothing wrong with it.

Many famous women used their sex to get ahead.

It's also a good idea to remember that upbringing and peer pressure has much to do with how one feels about any form of sexual behaviour.

 

[Gordar]

If my wife were in porn without telling me in advance it would be infidelity & would this mean a quick divorce.

If my daughter were into porn I'd ask her aliases so that I could avoid her at all cost.

 

[prof_porn]

An earlier poster mentioned 'curiosity' over the daughter performances, what say you?

Like you, I'd wish to avoid it personally, but I'd not be ashamed. Her sexuality is a gift, not a stain on her being.

 

[Gordar]

An earlier poster mentioned 'curiosity' over the daughter performances, what say you?

Like you, I'd wish to avoid it personally, but I'd not be ashamed. Her sexuality is a gift, not a stain on her being.

I wouldn't be ashamed either. If a neighbor would ask me what my daughter's occupation was, I'd flat out tell him. But just like I wouldn't spy on my daughter fucking her boyfriend, I wouldn't want to see her in action on screen either.

About my wife.

If she told me in advance that she wanted to become a pornstar, it'd be something discussable. If she were a pornstar before I met her and we married while she was still a pornstar, I'd have no problems with it. The only problem I'd have would be if she did it secretly behind my back. I used the word infidelity, which wikipedia defines as :

Infidelity can be defined as any violation of the mutually agreed-upon rules or boundaries of a relationship, and is a breach of faith in an inter-personal relationship.

If we both agree in advance that she'd continue to do her job or start working in the industry, it wouldn't be infidelity.

 

[Member2019]

Depends ...

...if you found out your wife/daughter were in the porn biz?

This is STRICTLY hypothetical. It does not imply any illegal incestuous relationship.

I mean you get some folks who'll cut the kid off (you're dead to me) and others who will accept it (your life, your choice)...

Just wondering where the 3-1's folk stand on this issue.

* I am not a parent, but hold current views which may change. What do those who are parents here say?

If they told me beforehand, I'd warn them of the issues, but support them if they moved forward. If I found out afterwards, I'd be pretty pissed that they didn't trust me enough to tell me.

I can understand not telling others. But as a husband/father, that's lack of trust.

 

[BlueBalls]

I would run around the street high fiving people, kissing men and women alike and I think I would generally be in a constant state of joy.

 

[boobmanz]

The fact that my wife is in the bizz would not be a reason to break up, the fact that she was hiding this for me, would be a reason. Isn't trust the essence of a relationship?

 

[calpoon]

Or it could be most of us are mid 20's, fresh out of academic life...and not yet chosen to settle down. Yeah, could be that.

It could be, but seeing as how some members seem to think that any potential mate has to answer to you for what she can and can't do with her body and her life, I'm going to say that it's probably a lack of maturity and experience than a lack of resolve.

and comments saying that people would never talk to their son again, or that they would rather have their daughter be in porn than be gay, are homophobic. Not that being in porn is a bad thing and that the two are comparable, but for the example here they are saying that the two are bad and that homosexuality is worse (who is the real moral police here? it's not me. I'm the one being permissive). So basically yes, equating homosexuals as a bad thing and something to be shunned is insulting, especially coming from a supposed parent toward their children- which further reinforces my above statement about (lack of) relationships.

 

[Imagine]

It could be, but seeing as how you seem to think that any potential mate has to answer to you for what she can and can't do with her body and her life, I'm going to say that it's probably a lack of maturity and experience than a lack of resolve.

I wish I was so mature and experienced that I'd be perfectly fine with my wife lying to me and sleeping around with other guys behind my back.

Well, no, not really. As far as I'm concerned, a marriage (or any type of committed relationship for that matter) is a contract that implies certain obligations. If people want something different, that's fine, but then everyone involved should be informed about it first. If my wife is free to do what she wants with her body and her life with no input from me, and I suppose that ultimately she is, then I see no reason why I shouldn't be free to exercise my right to do what I want with my body and life, meaning divorcing her and find someone willing and able to treat me with the kind of respect that I feel a healthy relationship should contain.

So yeah, I may not have a wife now or ever, but I'd rather be on my own than put up with a wife like that.

 

[calpoon]

that's nice imagine. maybe you should try reading what I actually said.

here, i'll save you the trouble of trying to scroll up.

the only issues that I'd have would be with the dishonesty

If you think that basically both parties going against or otherwise doing things that they don't want to because the other person demands it is what makes the perfect relationship, well, good luck with that. it sounds whack to me.