Don't ask, don't tell ... maybe that works better?
I didn't keep asking questions cause I was grossed out. I found out through a simple little game that my whore, I mean girlfriend, wants to get stuffed by five guys.
Whoa!
Dude, here was the sequence ...
- You opened the door, without thinking what could happen
- She told you her fantasy, possibly making herself very vunerable
- You reacted poorly, started being selfish, looking inward
- Now you call her a "whore" not realizing what that says about you
If you cannot talk to your girlfriend without not taking issue with what she might say, then you have a problem with yourself, not her.
You became completely self-engulfed for issues you have, totally not thinking of her reasons for saying it -- when you prompted it -- and now you're blaming her.
That's not only hardly healthy for your relationship, but you just indirectly told her she can't be honest with you.
You really need to go out-of-your-way to now tell her that you're sorry, but you can't handle things she might share.
That's the best "put your foot forth" honest truth you can make, and tell her you want to be honest about that.
If you cannot possibly stomach the answers you get, then you may wish to reconsider if you should even open doors.
That's what you have to think about.
My wife had the same issue early on in our relationship, trying to "test me" and asking me questions and not liking the answer she got.
At some point, I had to point out that she was not only being selfish, but base on how she took the answers, it didn't matter what my intention was, only how she took it.
If she couldn't take it, then she shouldn't ask it, or at least admit that part of our honesty cannot be shared.
Ironically, she changed, and for all of our relationship together since (the majority of our relationship overall), we are honest.
If you're going to share a life with someone, you have to find a balance between honesty and not walking down doors you don't want to.
It's not about omission, one should never purposely omit what they've done or what they desire to the point they cannot resist.
But one must be honest with oneself, and not try to play off your own issues by pushing them on others, which is exactly what you did.
It's funny how she tried to make it sound better by saying 5 "me's"
It's also funny considering the things she told me about her being able to have sex with people.
You know that standard, "I need to know them first."
Actually, sounds like she was quite honest and feels comfortable with only you, and that means she wants more of you.
The fact that you want to read it otherwise, although I don't know you or her, when she clearly has a "comfort bond" with you is rather sad.
It's very likely she was actually thinking this would be a compatible fantasy and complement to you, and you took it otherwise.
You focused inward, instead of stopping, not thinking of yourself and your issues, and focusing on what she meant.
The most difficult time in my relationships with my wife (to be) and even a few periods early into our marriage is when I focused on what I felt, not what she meant.
You cannot do that and have a relationship that survives, as both my wife and I learned rather quickly.
It's one thing that many people, myself included, don't learn when we're growing up with our families.
We argue with our parents and siblings about "how you hurt me!" and don't stop to recognize that sometimes what someone says is not meant to be hurtful.
So when we get into relationships and marriage by choice, we fall back to those old habits of focusing on how we take something, not what someone else meant.
I can tell you as a consultant who does not spend long with a company, working with employees who are there for 5+ years, I see that same attitude far too often (although not nearly as strong as in a personal life).
I don't let people sit there and tell me their issues with people, I try to point out what someone meant, and how to approach them in the future.
It's the only thing I can do, and something I follow -- strongly -- in my personal life as much as my professional.
Five fucking guys filling every hole and most likely shooting their loads all over her (another thing she don't like)
Or maybe one at a time, or maybe not to "shoot the load."
Even women who like "lots of cocks" at the same time may not necessarily like them all spewing all over her.
It's clear to me that you're not only now obsessed with this, but you're letting it roll into your own fear-fantasy beyond what she said.
Definitely not healthy, and it's what leads people to accuse others of all sorts of things without merit.
That in turn causes some people to then go off and do it because they get accused anyway.
Not healthy at all.
not to mention she'd probably want them all to have 9" donkey dicks. God man totally fucking grossed out!
Yeah, I noticed that.
You are so enthralled into your reaction that you are letting it go on and on well beyond anything she said.
If you can't stop and see that, then I suggest you consider how you think about many things, and let them consume you.
If you cannot, there's nothing wrong with talking to a professional about how you can better deal with that.
That's not an insult, but an observation, and trust me, we all have things we do that could be addressed well by a Professional.
This is just one thing you seemingly have trouble dealing with, and it sounds like you're going to lose a very, very loving woman if you cannot.
I may be totally wrong, and I don't know you, but it really bothers me that you let it go into this running fear-fantasy.
