True true true... It is the RARE person who actually gets off the stuff totally and permanently. When I was a cop, I can remember so many people "Going clean", and then, anywhere from 2 days to a year later, you've got them again and their so strung out, they look like they've got a foot in the grave.
:dunno:
H
I have typed it many times and I do not wish to overdue it.
But I was a crack addict. Have been clean since October 1, 2002. Haven't touched it since.
But the problem is the memory of how great I felt when I was on it still lingers. So I know that given the right (or wrong) circumstances I could start again.
For me to type that I would never want to feel better then - more or less - I have ever felt in my life again (like I did on rock) would be lieing and pointless. How could anyone honestly say that?
That is why it is a lifetime club for me (and those like me). The temptation will always we waiting for me. Calling me. Sometimes softly. Sometimes loudly.
So far I have resisted.
But if someone put a gun to my head and asked me whether I think I will do it again I would probably say, 'definitely'.
It was like the very first time I got a real high from crack. I spoke out loud these words and I just knew that they were true.
'I'm fucked.'
Because I knew, even then, I had just crossed a line that I could never cross back over until I was dead.
This woman, like me, will always be a drug addict. Even if we never use again.
Why did I start? Many reasons. But the main one was that I was totally unprepared for how amazing it made me feel. I figured it can't be THAT good. Within 10 seconds I knew I was wrong. It is THAT good. I underestimated it. And I believe that is what most addicts do - whatever the addiction.
BTW - If I was her friend what would I do?
Give her a hug whenever I thought she could use it.
Tell her how much I care about her (if I did).
NEVER give her money for anything.
Never let her near anything of mine that she could pawn for cash.
All I would ever buy her is food and used, very cheap, very basic clothing. And I would only do that if she could prove she needed both.
I would only ever find them shelter if there were weather conditions on the streets that would mean almost certain death were they to sleep outside that night. And then it would be pay for a cot at the Y or something. Not in my house/apartment.
I certainly wouldn't do what Suze what's her name did. Drug addicts can be ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE mooches. Giving them more stuff, IMO, is not the answer. Give them nothing more then they need for basic survival at that moment and always offer them a hug or a shoulder to cry on or just someone to talk to. But nothing else. And never even do that if you do not want to. If you want to? Great. If you don't, don't. You will just end up resenting them for it, probably. And always be honest and treat them as immature equals. Tell them why you won't give them the money they want. They are used to a world where everyone lies. They usually appreciate truth and being treated as equals, even if they don't admit it then.
But give and help them with nothing else - unless you REALLY want to.
Because my experience was that the real hardcore users only really try to quit when they have exhausted every single possible option for getting high. And I mean everything.
They will stop when they want to.
The only exception, in my opinion, is when someone is just constantly getting high and they just won't stop. Then it can be very helpful to just get them out of that mode for even a few days. Especially if it's heroin, which is the only major drug that is physically addictive (to my knowledge).
But the bottom line is, they will quit when they want to bad enough.
At least, the above is what I think.
Thank you for reading this - especially if you did it with an open mind.
