cheesy pick up lines / one liner jokes...

"I'm glad that I brought my library card... 'cause I'm totally checking you out"
 

Ace Bandage

The one and only.
"Did anyone ever tell you that your eyes look like space crystals?" - 60% of the time it works every time.
 

LukeEl

I am a failure to the Korean side of my family
Hey I got the F, the C, the K, and all I needs is U baby.
one of my favorite pick up lines was said to me by one of my ex girlfriends she said "I like my men like my coffee, all ground up and kept in the freezer."
 
"Is that a mirror in your pocket?. Because I can see myself in your panties."

"I ain't no Fred Flintstone. But I'll make your Bedrock!."
 
¡Güerita color de llanta, ya llegó tu rin cromado! :D
 

DR. B

Closed Account
one-liner jokes:

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?
 

LeyaFalcon

Official Checked Star Member
one-liner jokes:

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?
LOL I like the grandpa one and the payments one!!
 
I remember this line from an early episode of "Perfect Strangers". Balki says something that stuck in my head.
"...Let me shine your shoes with my heart"
-Then he drops down at her feet, chest first.
He says it at about 0:19 (excuse the Turkish subtitles)
I would love to know how that would work on someone.
 

LeyaFalcon

Official Checked Star Member
I remember this line from an early episode of "Perfect Strangers". Balki says something that stuck in my head.
"...Let me shine your shoes with my heart"
-Then he drops down at her feet, chest first.
He says it at about 0:19 (excuse the Turkish subtitles)
I would love to know how that would work on someone.
lol I don't get it?? Guess im slow?
 

vodkazvictim

Why save the world, when you can rule it?
:mad: CONSENT! :mad:
Not very funny, but it is a one liner and I find that it works every time.
:violent:
 
"Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven?"

(Take a look at the tag on the girls shirt, jacket, etc.)
She would say,"What are doing"
resond,"Oh, you were made in Heaven."

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

"I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?"

"Are you a kleptomaniac-or did you steal my heart on purpose?"

"You look almost perfect...the only thing I can see that's wrong is your lips...they're not touching mine."

Are You from Tennesee?
Because You're the only ten-I-See.

and the funniest one.....
"Is your dad a carpenter? (no, why?) 'cause you're givin' me a woody!"
 

Ace Bandage

The one and only.
One of my favorite pick up lines was said to me by one of my ex-girlfriends. She said, "I like my men like my coffee, all ground up and kept in the freezer."

No, no. It's like this - "I like my coffee like I like my women: filled with booze."
 

Killer B

I Like Big Tits! (song by Joe Walsh)
Women's legs should be like good peanut butter ... smooth and easy to spread.
 
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