Butt fucking a chick, pulling out....

[Bloodshot Scott]

Never forget the time I took my lil' chippie to Jose Tejas here in Jersey and she split the Sizzling Chicken Fajitas with me.

On the way home she started moaning, crossing and un-crossing her legs and like 5 mins. later, she squeaked one out that fogged the windows in the car. I knew what was up and asked her if she was ok and she told me to hurry up and get home because she had to pee!

When I pulled in the driveway, she did a RG III 50 yd. dash in 4.3 straight to the toilet and as I walked in the door, I found a trail of clothes leading to the toilet.

What happened after was magnificent...... her drawers looked like Jimmie Johnson did a burnout on them and she splattered the bowl so much, she tried to spray it with Lysol cleaner to get rid of the evidence.

But, I caught her and took a pic of the damage but she grabbed my phone and deleted it before I could save it. When she was done blowin' it up, I tossed her ass in the shower and washed her down like she'd been exposed to Nuclear War.

I couldn't stop laughing for 4 days after....

Good times!
:hatsoff:

Was the sex good that night? Surely you went down on her.

 

[alexpnz]

Was the sex good that night? Surely you went down on her.

No, no sex....she had many aftershocks that night and @ one point, I even fell vicitm to the dreaded Dutch Ovenette! :eek:

She got me back though, she took me to some place called "Saladworks" a few weeks later and I evacuated more than the Jersey Shore before Hurricane Sandy. :crying:

 

[Bloodshot Scott]

No, no sex....she had many aftershocks that night and @ one point, I even fell vicitm to the dreaded Dutch Ovenette! :eek:

She got me back though, she took me to some place called "Saladworks" a few weeks later and I evacuated more than the Jersey Shore before Hurricane Sandy. :crying:

Oh fuck. That healthy SHIT can sometimes wreak havoc on me if my system isn't in order as well. Particularly after a bender. It doesn't even digest it just goes right through my system - peppers, greens, cucumbers, you name it. :uohs:

 

[lurkingdirk]

Well, that conversation about your poop was awesome.

 

[lurkingdirk]

This statement belongs on a T-Shirt.



Fuck a Pooper += Love Noodle Doodoo

Love Noodle Doodoo would actually be a great band name.

 

[Sam Fisher]

 

[bobjustbob]

I've only given it 2 or 3 times and it was never any good for either of us. For me it is now protected territory. That place is for exit only. A nice soapy wash with a rag in the shower is about it. Unless you are a doctor and need to be back there, off limits.

 

[Sam Fisher]

 

[Sam Fisher]

Never forget the time I took my lil' chippie to Jose Tejas here in Jersey and she split the Sizzling Chicken Fajitas with me.

On the way home she started moaning, crossing and un-crossing her legs and like 5 mins. later, she squeaked one out that fogged the windows in the car. I knew what was up and asked her if she was ok and she told me to hurry up and get home because she had to pee!

When I pulled in the driveway, she did a RG III 50 yd. dash in 4.3 straight to the toilet and as I walked in the door, I found a trail of clothes leading to the toilet.

What happened after was magnificent...... her drawers looked like Jimmie Johnson did a burnout on them and she splattered the bowl so much, she tried to spray it with Lysol cleaner to get rid of the evidence.

like this?

 

[Sam Fisher]

 

[bigwarmload]

Fuck a Pooper += Love Noodle Doodoo

Love Noodle Doodoo would actually be a great band name.

True, but sadly is will probably end up being a domain for s/c/a/t porn.

 

[Aaliyah Love]

Do we have a guide for anal sex from some pornstar,detailing each and every step from what to eat ,how to clean,how to stretch etcetera etcetera and more importantly things to avoid,what can go wrong

I've tried to do a blog post like this before. The problem is, it's SO UNSEXY that I wasn't sure how to word it, didn't want to turn people off, and there IS a thing as TOO MUCH INFORMATION aka tmi.. so I decided to not do it.

 

[Aaliyah Love]

I've only given it 2 or 3 times and it was never any good for either of us. For me it is now protected territory. That place is for exit only. A nice soapy wash with a rag in the shower is about it. Unless you are a doctor and need to be back there, off limits.

You've only had anal sex 2 or 3 times.. ur entire life? Well then, you are failing at life, sir! #FAIL

And on that note, I'm done w this thread. I've said too much already lol

 

[klies13]

I've tried to do a blog post like this before. The problem is, it's SO UNSEXY that I wasn't sure how to word it, didn't want to turn people off, and there IS a thing as TOO MUCH INFORMATION aka tmi.. so I decided to not do it.

http://www.peoplesboard.com/board/s...tja-Kassin's-quot-Guide-To-Anal-Sex-quot-Blog

Katja Kassin wrote this many years back and if it doesn't look sexy then sure it isn't a turn off either.I'm not sure if things changed that much in the field of Anal prep technology but still using it as a reference you can write one covering more aspects

 

[Roald]

That's what ass to mouth is for.

LMAO!!!! Exactly!

 

[Harley Spencer]

It's kind of like what you do to a turkey with a baster.

I've said too much already.

Oh god. That's disturbing.

 

[SpexyAshleigh]

Uhm, I don't know what kind of saliva you girls are rockin, but unless you're eating shit, it's not even close to seeing shit on your dong. How is that comparable? I understand your point that if you're going to have anal sex, you shouldn't expect to be squeaky clean when you're finished, but saliva and poop? C'mon, girl. Don't be cray.

I'm not saying that saliva is worse or even on the same level as poop. You're misunderstanding my post. I'm saying getting upset that theres turds on your schlong would be as silly as getting upset about spit on your dick. Or even getting blood on your dick if you're fucking a chick on her period. You go into bumsex knowing you're fucking a shithole, so why would guys even get slightly horrified when it happens? Or should I say, when shit happens :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

If you don't like poop, don't fuck the chute!

 

[SpexyAshleigh]

And I have to say, I'm loving this thread. Discussions about poop are ALWAYS awesome. :clap:

 

[lurkingdirk]

I'm not saying that saliva is worse or even on the same level as poop. You're misunderstanding my post. I'm saying getting upset that theres turds on your schlong would be as silly as getting upset about spit on your dick. Or even getting blood on your dick if you're fucking a chick on her period. You go into bumsex knowing you're fucking a shithole, so why would guys even get slightly horrified when it happens? Or should I say, when shit happens :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

If you don't like poop, don't fuck the chute!

You're one of the most eloquent people I've ever met.

 

[bigwarmload]

If you don't like poop, don't fuck the chute!

You should be a campaign slogan writer.

turds on your schlong

Chorus:

Turds on your schlong,
Turds on your schlong,
Get me a wipe,
I got turds on my schlong