2013-14 Football ("Soccer") Thread

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White Hart Lane.... the worst Premier League ground to get to. A fucking ********.

That's not even the worst bit though, is it? It's getting away. We spend more time getting from Tottenham to Enfield than we do on the M1 and M6 combined. And always get ****** by the Dominos man on his moped. Every time. Without fail.
 
World Cup - Uruguay book place in Brazil

Uruguay sealed their spot at the 2014 World Cup finals after a goalless draw at home to Jordan in the second leg of their intercontinental play-off saw them advance 5-0 on aggregate.
Uruguay, the last of the 32 teams to book their place at the finals in Brazil, had all but secured their berth with a crushing 5-0 victory in the first leg in Amman last week.
"We're all happy because the truth is it's been a hard road," striker Edinson Cavani said after Uruguay's 18th match of the qualifying campaign. "We have to enjoy it."
Left-back Martin Caceres suggested that winning the first leg by such a big margin had made it harder to concentrate in the second.
"After winning 5-0 it was going to get complicated, we knew we had to take the match seriously," he added. "We'd have liked to give the crowd a triumph and at least one goal to shout about but it wasn't to be, that's football."
Despite needing to score at least five to have any hope of overturning the deficit, Jordan defended deep and in numbers on Wednesday, denying the South Americans scoring chances and making sure there would be no repeat of the 5-0 mauling.
The closest the home side came to scoring was when centre-back Diego Godin headed against the bar just before half-time, but the lack of goals failed to dampen celebrations on the pitch or among the crowd of 60,000 in the stands.
"(Jordan) got what they wanted, a dignified role and a result that I suppose for them is very important," coach Oscar Tabarez said.
"We must accept ... that the main reason why we couldn't win was our rivals' good tactics."
Jordan's Egyptian coach Hossam Hassan was pleased with his team's reaction to their punishing defeat at home.
"We played very well, we met a very good team, very strong, with players from different parts of the world," Hassan said.
"I want Uruguay to have a good World Cup in Brazil."
Before kick-off, the crowd at the Centenario were treated to a video of Alcides Ghiggia's winning goal when Uruguay upset Brazil 2-1 at the Maracana to win their second World Cup in 1950, the last time their northern neighbours hosted the finals.
The 86-year-old, the sole survivor of that "Maracanazo" team, also spoke to the crowd ahead of the game.
"At the Maracana (final) there were 30 Uruguayans," he said in the centre circle. "Today I have the luck to celebrate with all these people here and it's very emotional for me."
Jordan's packed defence gave 2010 semi-finalists Uruguay few openings.
Cavani, who scored a sublime free kick in the first leg, had two efforts that went over the bar while Luis Suarez worked tirelessly to find openings but often found himself ****** out wide.
Uruguay captain Diego Lugano headed a corner wide of the far post just past the hour and Jordan took heart from the scoreless first half and were more daring after the break.
It was the fourth World Cup qualifying campaign in a row in which Uruguay went into a play-off, having finished fifth in the South American group behind Argentina, Colombia, Chile and Ecuador.
Uruguay reached the 2002 finals by beating Australia, but lost to the same opponents in the campaign for Germany 2006.
They went to the 2010 finals in South Africa after overcoming Costa Rica.
 
World Cup - Ronaldo hits hat-trick to send Portugal through

World Cup qualifying play-off second leg - Sweden 2 (Ibrahimovic 68, 73) Portugal 3 (Ronaldo 50, 77 & 79)

Cristiano Ronaldo carried Portugal to the World Cup by scoring a remarkable hat-trick in an extraordinary 3-2 win over Sweden.
Ronaldo had given Portugal the lead, only for Zlatan Ibrahimovic to score two and give Sweden some hope, but the Real Madrid forward then netted twice more to seal a 4-2 aggregate victory.
The opening 30 minutes were very cagey, with Portugal seemingly happy to sit on their lead and slow play down at the back.
Sweden started full of intent, trying to hurry their opponents into making a mistake, but could barely keep possession for a significant period of time, and Ibrahimovic had to drop further and further back to find the ball.
Portugal grew into the game in the closing stages of the half, with Cristiano Ronaldo having three good chances in the space of 10 minutes, but could not convert any of them.
However, five minutes after the break he opened the scoring, latching onto a through-ball by Joao Moutinho, and he hammered the ball past Andreas Isaksson. That put Portugal 2-0 up on aggregate with an away goal, leaving Sweden needing three goals to progress.
And they almost did it, too. Ibrahimovic gave them hope with a header from a Kim Kallstrom corner, then put them within touching distance of qualification after hammering home a low free-kick from the edge of the area.
Those hopes were dashed by Ronaldo 10 minutes later, however. He again ran onto a brilliant through-ball by Hugo Almeida, and shot low past Isaksson with his left foot.
The Real Madrid forward then put the tie beyond all doubt and completed an extraordinary hat-trick, once again going clean through on goal, taking it just to the left of Isaksson before finishing superbly, despite the presence of two defenders on the line.
Ronaldo will be at the World Cup, carrying the Portugal team on his back as he goes.

KEY MOMENTS

50 - GOAL - RONALDO GIVES PORTUGAL THE LEAD - A frantic first five minutes of the half ends when Ronaldo is set clear by Moutinho's great, and he hammers past Isaksson with his left foot.
68 - GOAL - IBRAHIMOVIC GIVES SWEDEN HOPE - Pretty easy for Zlatan, who gets up over Alves, who had a handful of his shirt, to head home from a corner.
72 - GOAL - IBRAHIMOVIC DOES IT AGAIN - The free-kick is right on the edge, just to the right, and Zlatan simply steps up and hammers it low into the bottom corner. Incredible scenes.
77 - GOAL - INCREDIBLE, RONALDO SCORES FOR PORTUGAL - Almeida sets Ronaldo in on goal on the left side of the area, and he buries it into the bottom corner. Remarkable.
79 - GOAL - RONALDO SEALS IT FOR PORTUGAL - Incredible, again. Ronaldo has a hat-trick. A beautiful pass by Moutinho sets him away, he takes it round Isaksson and fires past two defenders on the line. What a player.

KEY STATS

Ronaldo has now scored three hat-tricks in his last six games.

Sweden had 62% possession, Portugal 38%

Ronaldo had four of Portgual's five shots on target.

TALKING POINT

Ronaldo's decent, then?
It's something of a shame that voting for the Ballon d'Or has closed, because this performance was almost worthy of the award on its own. A game billed as a battle between two huge egos and absurdly talented players actually panned out that way, with the superior performer coming out on top in a quite spectacular way. Ronaldo was sensational, and was actually unlucky to 'only' score three. Truly remarkable. Of course, we shouldn't forget the superb assists from Almeida and Moutinho, but tonight was about Ronaldo.

MAN OF THE MATCH

Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal):
See above.

PLAYER RATINGS

Sweden:
Isaksson 6, Lustig 6, Olsson 7, Nilsson 5, Antonsson 6, Elm 5, Larsson 7, Kallstrom 6, Kacaniklic 5, Elmander 6, Ibrahimovic 8. SUBS: Durmaz 5, Svensson 5, Gerndt 5.

Portugal: Patricio 7, Pereira 7, Coentrao 6, Pepe 6, Alves 6, Moutinho 7, Veloso 7, Meireles 6, Nani 6, Ronaldo 10, Almeida 7. SUBS: Antunes 6, Carvalho 5, Costa 5.
 
World Cup - France beat Ukraine after incredible comeback

World Cup qualifying play-off second leg, Stade de France - France 3 (Sakho 22, Benzema 34, Gusev o.g. 72) Ukraine 0

Mamadou Sakho and Karim Benzema were on target as France stunned Ukraine 3-0 in Paris to secure a 3-2 win over two legs and book a place at next year's World Cup finals.
France took the lead in the 22nd minute when Mathieu Valbuena sent in a cross from the right. It was cleared as far as Franck Ribery, whose strike at goal was palmed to Sakho, who scored from close range.
Eleven minutes later, Yohan Cabaye shot from another cleared cross. The ball struck Valbuena, bouncing into the path of an offside Karim Benzema to poke past the keeper, bring France level in the tie. It was no less than they deserved having had a Benzema goal incorrectly ruled offside just moments before.
France got another boost on 47 minutes, when Yevhen Khacheridi received his marching orders after picking up a second yellow for a wild lunge on Ribery.
The home side dominated with an extra man, but struggled to create clear chances. First, Ribery and then Mathieu Debuchy went close, but on 75 minutes Oleh Guzev failed to clear a shot at goal and put through his own net under pressure from Sakho to secure France’s qualification for next summer's finals in Brazil.

KEY STATS

France are the first team to overcome a 2-0 disadvantage in the second leg of a World Cup qualifier.

Ukraine has been unbeaten in 12 games before this match.

Ukraine hadn’t conceded a goal in the last eight matches.

MAN OF THE MATCH

Mamadou Sakho (France):
Scorer of the opening goal, and a changed man from his previously miserable defensive form, France may not have won this match were it not for him.

PLAYER RATINGS

France:
Lloris 7, Debuchy 7, Varane 6, Sakho 8, Evra 6, Pogba 6, Matuidi 6, Cabaye 6, Valbuena 6, Ribery 7, Benzema 6. Subs: Giroud 6, Sagna 6.

Ukraine: Pyatov 6, Khacheridi 5, Yarmolenko 6, Zozulia 6, Konoplyanka 6, Shevchuk 5, Rotan 5, Bezus 6, Mandzyuk 6, Rakitskiy 6, Edmar 5. Subs: Gusev 5, Seleznov 6.
 
Asian Football - Iran, Qatar book Asian Cup places, China wait

Three-times champions Iran cruised into the 2015 Asian Cup finals after thrashing Lebanon 4-1 on Tuesday, but China missed the chance to join them and face a nerve-jangling final qualifier.
World Cup-bound Iran were one of five teams to qualify for the finals from the nine matches played in the penultimate round on Tuesday, with fellow west Asian sides Qatar, Oman and Kuwait also securing berths, as well as Uzbekistan.
Twelve teams have now booked a place at the 16-team finals in Australia, with few big-name casualties apart from in Group C, where 2007 winners Iraq or China will battle it out in March to decide who joins Saudi Arabia in escaping the group.
China will feel they should already be planning an 11th consecutive appearance in the Asian showpiece event, but they could not find a way past a stubborn Saudi backline in Xi'an.
"We need to learn how to convert dominance into a winning situation. I hope we can make it in the last game," China's caretaker coach, Fu Bo, told reporters.
China have eight points from five games in the group, two ahead of Iraq, who kept their finals hopes alive by easing to a 2-0 win in Indonesia.
Hammadi Ahmed scored with a powerful downward header and Kerrar Jassim coolly converted a penalty as the visitors were able to turn their attentions to a home match against China.
"The result of China's game means a lot for us," Iraq coach Hakeem Shakir told reporters. "It benefits us as it puts China under pressure and it gives us a good chance to qualify."
The best third-place side across the five qualifying groups will also secure a berth, meaning all might not be lost for the loser, with Iraq currently holding that position.
They are just ahead of Lebanon, whose automatic chances were crushed in a 4-1 loss at home to Iran in Group B.
Central defender Amir Hossein Sadeghi headed home a corner from the left just before halftime, with Ashkan Dejagah drilling in a second in the 51st minute.
Captain Javad Nekounam slotted a penalty before Reza Ghoochannejhad continued his strong scoring form to make it 4-0 in a match that was played without fans following a double suicide bombing near the Iranian embassy in Beirut earlier on Tuesday.
The result in the Lebanese capital helped Kuwait seal a place in Australia after they beat bottom side Thailand 3-1 at home to move on to nine points from five matches, four behind Iran and four clear of Lebanon.

LE GUEN HAPPY

Oman struck a 91st-minute winner to beat 'home side' Syria 1-0 in a poor quality Group A clash in Tehran.
"Today you didn't witness our best game, but ... I am happy with the result we achieved," Oman coach Paul Le Guen said after Eid Al Farsi was afforded too much space to sidefoot home from 12 metres out.
Jordan, trying to overturn a 5-0 first-leg deficit against Uruguay in their World Cup qualifier on Wednesday, were not in action in Group A but are expected to claim the second berth in the pool when they face Oman and Singapore early next year.
The situation was less complex in Groups E and D, with Uzbekistan and Qatar securing away wins to emulate the United Arab Emirates and Bahrain, who qualified on Friday .
Malaysia goalkeeper Khairul Fahmi Che Mat handed Qatar all three points in Kuala Lumpur when he came flying out of his goal as Sebastian Soria crossed for Abdulkareem Al Ali to steer into an empty net.
Uzbekistan had a nervy wait against 10-man Hong Kong before they found the breakthrough in the 83rd minute thanks to Vokhid Shodiev, who swept in a right-foot effort on the turn. Talented midfielder Odil Ahmedov struck a second in the final moments for Uzbekistan, who reached the semi-finals four years ago.
"We will do our best in Australia and try and do better than we did in Qatar," said coach Mirdjalal Kasimov.
The UAE made it five wins from five in Group E with a 5-0 thrashing of 10-man Vietnam, while Bahrain eased to a 2-0 success over Yemen in Group D to remain a point clear of Qatar.
 
International friendlies - Tarasov goes from villain to hero in Russia victory

Midfielder Dmitry Tarasov turned from villain to hero, making a defensive blunder then scoring the winner as Russia beat South Korea 2-1 in an entertaining friendly in Dubai on Tuesday.
In the first clash between the two countries, Russia coach Fabio Capello made five changes from the team that drew 1-1 with Serbia in another friendly in Dubai on Friday with goalkeeper Yuri Lodygin and defender Igor Smolnikov making debuts and Tarasov starting for the first time.
The Koreans dominated the early stages and broke the deadlock after six minutes when towering striker Kim Shin-wook reacted sharply to score from close range, capitalising on a weak header by Tarasov following a corner.
But Russia, who have now scored in all of their last 16 matches, levelled the score five minutes later thanks to a howler from Korean keeper Jung Sung-ryong.
The 28-year-old keeper failed to parry a simple-looking cross by captain Roman Shirokov and Fyodor Smolov was in the right place at the right time to complete the easiest of finishes with his second international goal.
The Koreans, who beat Switzerland 2-1 in a friendly in Seoul on Friday, almost restored their lead but Lodygin made a couple of brilliant saves to deny Lee Keun-ho and Ki Sung-yong.
Russia went ahead against the run of play 14 minutes after the break when Tarasov rose above the Korean defence to head in from Alexander Samedov's corner.
Lee Chung-young missed another golden scoring chance at the other end a few minutes from time.
A one minute silence was observed before the match in memory of the victims of the air crash in the Russian city of Kazan on Sunday, with Capello's men also wearing mourning ribbons.
Russia qualified for next June's World Cup finals after topping European Group F ahead of Portugal.
South Korea, ranked 56th in the world, will also play at the global showpiece in Brazil following an uninspiring qualifying campaign that saw them grab an automatic berth by the skin of their teeth.
 
International friendlies - Scotland secure slender win over Norway

International friendly, Aker Stadion - Norway 0 Scotland 1 (Brown 61)

Scott Brown’s second-half strike capped a transitional year for Scotland who secured a well-fought 1-0 win over Norway.
The hosts dominated much of the game, passing up several opportunities to find the net, but, after weathering the storm, Brown’s low drive into the bottom corner was enough to secure Scottish back-to-back away wins for the first time in over six years.
Craig Bryson was handed a first international start, with Ikechi Anya coming into the team that drew 0-0 with the United States on Friday. Former Blackburn player Morten Gamst Pedersen started for Norway, as they looked to recover from a dismal World Cup qualification campaign.
Norway started the better of the two sides and put pressure on Scotland right from the start, with Ola Kamara coming close to breaking the deadlock with a header that was stopped on the line by David Marshall and Gordon Greer.
Pedersen was afforded time and space on the left side of midfield and caused the Scotland backline problems with a number of dangerous crosses into the box, one of which should have been turned home by Marcus Pederson only a matter of yards out.
A tactical switch by Strachan gave Scotland more control in midfield as the first half wound down, but nonetheless the visitors went into half time somewhat fortunate to be level.
Pedersen’s deliveries into the penalty area continued to pose a threat to the Scottish goal, as Norway should have scored just before the hour mark. The striker was afforded a glorious chance after 58 minutes, running on to a cut back pass 12 yards out, but he saw his shot saved by the legs of Marshall.
And Scotland punished Norway just minutes later, when a loose ball fell to Brown on the edge of the box, who lashed his effort into the bottom left corner Orjan Nyland’s goal.
Norway continued to press the visitors in an attempt to find a leveler, with Anders Konradsen putting the ball inches wide of the post when he should have found the net instead.

MAN OF THE MATCH

Morten Gamst Pedersen (Norway):
The former Blackburn player was a threat to Scotland all night, whipped countless wicked crosses into the box from his position on the left wing. His teammates should’ve made them count.

PLAYER RATINGS

Norway:
Nyland 5, Hogli 5, Forren 7, Reginiussen 5, Elabdellaoui 6, Gamst Pedersen 8, Jensse, 6, Eikrem 7, Skjelbred 6, Pederson 7, Kamara 5. Subs: Abdellaoue 5, Linnes 5, Daelhi 6.

Scotland: Marshall 7, Hutton 5, Greer 7, Martin 7, Whittaker 5, Brown 7, Bryson 4, Adam 5, Anya 5, Naismith 6, Snodgrass 5. Subs: Bannan 6, Conway 5, McArthur 6.
 
International friendlies - Mertesacker header sinks England

International friendly, Wembley - England 0 Germany 1 (Mertesacker 39)

England slumped to back-to-back defeats at Wembley for the first time since 1977 as an under-strength Germany claimed a 1-0 friendly win.
Roy Hodgson made nine changes from the experimental team that lost to Chile four days earlier, but were they undone by Arsenal defender Per Mertesacker's thumping header on 39 minutes.
The hosts made a bright start but lacked a cutting edge and struggled to trouble debutant Roman Weidenfeller in the German goal.
Joachim Loew's side had rarely threatened but stole ahead just prior to the interval when the Three Lions failed to take heed of a set-piece warning.
A right-wing corner was met by a powerful header by Mertesacker but Joe Hart - back in action for the first time since being dropped by Manchester City - produced a stunning save to keep it out.
However, the visitors were celebrating just seconds later when Toni Kroos' inviting cross was once again met by Mertesacker, who made no mistake with a thumping effort that flew into the corner.
England pressed after the break and Andros Townsend was unlucky to see a thunderous 30-yard strike clip the far post.
But Die Mannschaft remained the greater danger on the counter and Marco Reus was brilliantly denied by Hart before Mertesacker crashed another header over the top.
The visitors could easily have added to their margin of victory but Mario Goetze and substitute Sidney Sam spurned glorious chances.

MATCH STATS

England failed to have a shot on target in a home game for the first time since losing 1-0 to Scotland in November 1999.

England have lost five of the last six Wembley encounters against Germany. The one draw at Euro 96 ended with the Germans triumphing on penalties.

England have now lost successive home internationals for the first time since the 1977 Home Nations tournament, when Don Revie's side lost to Wales and Scotland within a week.

Germany have scored at least once in their last 12 internationals.

At the age of 33 years and 105 days, Borussia Dortmund stopper Roman Weidenfeller became his country's oldest ever debutant between the sticks.

MAN OF THE MATCH

Per Mertesacker (Germany) -
A constant thorn in England's side at set pieces which culminated in the winning goal. The Arsenal man was also imperious at the back to help keep out everything the hosts could throw at them.

PLAYER RATINGS

England:
Hart 7, Walker 5, Cole 5, Jagielka 5, Smalling 5, Cleverley 6, Gerrard 6, Lallana 6, Rooney 6, Townsend 7, Sturridge 6. Subs: Gibbs 6, Henderson 5, Wilshere 5, Barkley 5, Lambert 5.

Germany: Weidenfeller 6, Schmelzer 6, Boateng 7, Mertesacker 8, Westermann 6, Sven Bender 7, Lars Bender 7, Reus 7, Kroos 8, Goetze 7, Kruse 5. Subs: Jansen 6, Hummels 6, Sam 6, Howedes 6, Draxler 6, Schurrle 5.
 
International friendlies - Gibraltar hold Slovakia to memorable draw on debut

Gibraltar celebrated their first match as a UEFA member with an impressive defensive performance to hold Slovakia to a goalless draw on Tuesday.

The stands at the 30,000-seater Algarve stadium were big enough to fit in the whole population of Gibraltar but the 500 fans who travelled from the rocky enclave celebrated as if they had won.
It was Gibraltar's first full international after the rocky territory became UEFA's 54th member in May following a 14-year court battle against Spanish objections to their football ambitions as a national side.
Waving red and white flags and some Union Jacks, the Gibraltarian supporters watched a display of nervy but brave defending by their mainly amateur side throughout the match.
After hearing their national anthem for the first time at the highest level, Gibraltar captain Roy Chipolina gave a pre-match motivational speech to his team which seemed to work.
He combined with former Manchester United, Stoke City and Sunderland defender Danny Higginbotham to clear wave after wave of Slovakian ******.
Halfway through the first period, Gibraltar goalkeeper Jordan Perez denied the Slovaks with a good reflex save from the visitors' main threat on the night, midfielder Karim Guede.
Slovakia were without their two leading players, Napoli striker Marek Hamsik and Liverpool defender Martin Skrtel.
Midfielder Daniel Duarte also cleared a ball off the line as the Gibraltarians held firm to halftime.
The visitors pressed in the second period as Gibraltar rarely came out of their own half but continued to defend strongly.
Man-of-the match Higginbotham, 34, slide-tackled, headed and cleared his lines time and time again to inspire his team mates with a textbook defensive performance.
Slovakia almost spoiled Gibralta's night in stoppage but their late effort hit bar.
Gibraltar striker Al Greene ****** a rare chance late on to make it a fairytale start, although his team mates and coach Allen Bula did not seem to care as they celebrated on the pitch.
The match was Gibraltar's first at their temporary home at the Algarve Stadium, situated midway between Faro and Loule, which they will also use for their Euro 2016 qualifiers because the 2,000-seater Victoria Stadium in Gibraltar is not big enough to meet UEFA's minimum standards for official games.
 
International friendlies - South Africa condemn Spain to surprise defeat

Spain, back at the scene of their 2010 World Cup title triumph, suffered a surprise 1-0 defeat by South Africa in a friendly at Soccer City on Tuesday.
Bernard Parker chipped the ball over goalkeeper Victor Valdes for the only goal after 56 minutes for South Africa who missed out on qualifying for the 2014 edition in Brazil.
Goalkeeper Itumeleng Khune made a flying save in the final minute to deny Raul Albiol an equaliser for the world and European champions.
Asked by Spanish television broadcaster Cuatro if it was Spain's worst performance in recent times, coach Vicente Del Bosque replied: "It could be. I think we can even say the defeat was well deserved.
"We started well but little by little they started to open us up and we allowed them time to counter ******.
"We came out with good intentions and fought to the end to find an equaliser so I can't complain about the players' attitude," added Del Bosque.
"They (South Africa) got better as the game went on." A crowd of around 40,000, less than half the capacity, watched a parade of the World Cup trophy by the Spanish players before kick-off.
 
International friendlies - Netherlands play out draw with Colombia

International Friendly, Amsterdam ArenA - Netherlands 0 Colombia 0

The Netherlands and Colombia played out a bad-tempered 0-0 draw in Amsterdam, with Jeremain Lens seeing red in a turgid affair.
The first half was low on chances but high on talking points. After just seven minutes Rafael Van der Vaart struck the bar with a curling effort that seemed as if it would set the tone for an open game, but the half's principal talking point came ten minutes before the break.
Forward Lens stretched for the ball in the box and then tussled with Pablo Armero. The Colombian went down theatrically and Lens was dismissed for pushing his opponent in the neck in rather debatable circumstances.
The second half was brighter than the first, but neither goalkeeper was ever ****** to make anything other than routine saves.
Colombia's best chance fell to Radamel Falcao out wide, but Jasper Cillissen's fingertips kept him out, while Cristian Zapata blocked a goalbound effort from substitute Leroy Fer at the other end.
For Colombia, a win and a draw against the Netherlands and Belgium represents a fine week's work, but draws against Japan and the Colombians will be deemed unsatisfactory by Louis Van Gaal.

Man of the Match

James Rodriguez (Colombia):
In a game with few chances and little attacking invention, James Rodriguez was at least at the heart of everything that his side created, wither through his dribbling or crisp passing.

Player Ratings

Netherlands:
Cillissen 7, Van de Wiel 6, Veltman 6, Vlaar 6, Blind 6, Schaars 6, Strootman 7, Van de Vaart 7, Lens 4, De Jong 6, Depay 7, Narsingh 6, Fer 7, De Guzman 6.

Colombia: Mondragón 6, Arias 6, Valdés 6, Zapata 7, Armero 6, Aguilar 5, James Rodríguez 8, Sánchez 6, Cuadrado 7, Teófilo 6, Falcao 6, Bacca 6, Torres 7, Martinez 6, Valencia 6.
 
International friendlies - Austria hand US controversial 1-0 defeat

Austria handed World Cup qualifiers the United States a controversial 1-0 friendly defeat in Vienna on Tuesday after the visitors had a goal disallowed because the referee ruled the ball had not crossed the line.
The US, who had won 15 or their previous 16 internationals, thought they had gone ahead in the 16th minute.
Geoff Cameron's header hit the hand of Austria forward Marko Arnautovic and was heading into the goal until it was clawed away by goalkeeper Robert Almer.
The American players raised their arms, clearly thinking they had scored, but the referee waved play on, awarding neither a goal nor the penalty.
Television replays were inconclusive as to whether the ball had crossed the line although the handball by Arnautovic appeared to be clear.
Austria, who have not qualified for the World Cup, then went ahead when David Alaba released Gyorgy Garics on the right and his low cross was turned in from close range by unmarked Turkey-based forward Marc Janko in the 33rd minute.
The hosts had a chance to increase their lead early in the second half when Martin Harnik sprung the offside trap, only to curl his shot wide of the post and there were few chances for either side after that.
 
International friendlies - Belgium given reality check in loss to Japan

Belgium's World Cup ambitions received another reality check on Tuesday when they suffered a second defeat in five days with a 3-2 loss to an impressive Japan in a friendly in Brussels.
Belgium, who have climbed to fifth in FIFA's world ranking after an unbeaten qualifying campaign, were undone by a 44th-ranked Japanese team that exposed the hosts' defensive frailties.
Marc Wilmots's side, who will take their place in Brazil next year for their first World Cup finals in 12 years, lost 2-0 to Colombia last Thursday.
For Japan, due to make their fifth consecutive World Cup appearance, it was proof of further progress after they produced some effective one-touch football to come from two goals down and draw with the Netherlands on Saturday.
There was some mitigation for Belgium, however, as they were without captain Vincent Kompany and striker Christian Benteke.
They also started brightly, opening the scoring in the 15th minute. Kevin Mirallas had an easy tap-in after Romelu Lukaku raced on to a through-ball from Dries Mertens, rounded Japan keeper Eiji Kawashima, and slid the ball goalwards.
A Yoichiro Kakitani header made it 1-1 at halftime.
Japan took control in the second half, going 2-1 up with a rasping shot from an unmarked Keisuke Honda and adding a third when Yoichiro Kakitani neatly chipped over the Belgian defence to an advancing Shinji Okazaki.
Toby Alderweireld's header pulled one back for the hosts, and the crowd urged Belgium forward for a final push in the last 10 minutes. Kevin De Bruyne came closest to an equaliser, ******* a decent save from Kawashima in the final minute.
Belgium, whose loss to Colombia was their first defeat in a year and their first at home since September 2010, will be among the seeded teams in Brazil.
 
International friendlies - Neymar pulls strings in Brazil win over Chile

International friendly, Rogers Centre - Brazil 2 (Hulk 14, Robinho 78) Chile 1 (Vargas 70)

Neymar excelled once again as Brazil beat Chile 2-1 in an entertaining international friendly played at the Rogers Centre in Toronto, Canada.
Hulk opened the scoring for Brazil in the first half only for Eduardo Vargas to pull Chile level with 20 minutes remaining. But the World Cup hosts secured victory when Robinho stooped to head his first international goal for two years and stake a real claim to be included in Luis Felipe Scolari's squad next summer.
A disjointed opening to the game was punctuated by Hulk's goal just before the quarter-hour mark. The Zenit Saint Petersburg striker fired a fierce low drive past Claudio Bravo from Oscar's pass after the Chelsea midfielder had been gifted the ball in what proved to be a costly error by Marcos Gonzalez.
The Chileans responded well to going behind and they could have been level had Cardiff City's Gary Medel not made a hash of things when found in the Brazil box by a clever free-kick. Medel later went into the book for a clumsy challenge on Oscar, who looked every bit a world class player before fading slightly after the break.
Brazil began the second half on top with Neymar central to most of their attacking play and it was from his dangerous cross that Gonzalez went some way to atoning for his earlier error, the Chilean defender somehow diverting the ball up and over his own crossbar.
Robinho, Hulk, Paulinho and Oscar all had decent chances in quick succession to add a second for Brazil, but Chile survived the intensive onslaught and emerged unscathed before going on to level against the run the play.
Vargas, the Gremio striker, appeared to cleverly use David Luiz as a screen to unsight Julio Cesar in the Brazil goal before firing into the bottom corner and drawing Chile back onto level terms.
The goal sparked the match into a furious finale with both sides going for a winner. But it was Brazil who found it, Robinho heading home from close range after wonderful vision from Neymar found Maicon, who crossed for the AC Milan forward.
Neymar should have capped his night with a goal but he fluffed his lines when played in on goal in the dying embers of the game, while Robinho could have added a second to his personal tally with the last kick of the game. As it was, the former Manchester City striker may well have already done enough to earn a place at next summer's tournament.

MAN OF THE MATCH

Neymar (Brazil) -
The Barcelona ace pulled the strings for his country once again and with him in their ranks, Brazil cannot be looked on as anything other than favourites for next summer's tournament.

PLAYER RATINGS

Brazil:
Cesar 6, Maxwell 6 ,Maicon 6, Thiago Silva 6, David Luiz 7, Paulinho 7, Luiz Gustavo 6, Oscar 7, Jo 6, Neymar 8, Hulk 7. Subs: Hernanes n/a, Dante 5, Ramires 5, Willian 5, Robinho 7, Lucas n/a.

Chile: Bravo 6, Gonzalez 5, Jara 6, Mena 6, Diaz 6, Medel 6, Carmona 6, Fuenzalida 5, Gutiérrez 6, Sanchez 6, Vargas 7. Subs: Fernandez 6, Beausejour 6, Valdivia 5, Munoz n/a.
 
International friendlies - Ecuador salvage 2-2 friendly draw with Honduras in Texas

Honduras substitute Carlo Costly scored twice in five minutes before Enner Valencia's 89th minute strike earned Ecuador a share of the spoils in a 2-2 friendly draw in Texas on Tuesday.
Ecuador, who had held Argentina to a 0-0 draw in New Jersey on Friday, opened the scoring with a 16th-minute header from forward Jaime Ayovi at the Compass Stadium in Houston.
Costly equalised in the 63rd, five minutes after coming off the bench, when striker Jerry Palacios headed the ball down to him in the penalty area.
The China-based striker added his second goal, a fine left-footed shot into the top corner, in the 67th and Honduras appeared on course for victory when Ecuador left back Juan Carlos Paredes was dismissed nine minutes later.
Honduras, however, were also reduced to 10 men when England-based midfielder Wilson Palacios was shown a red card six minutes from time and Valencia popped up five minutes later to equalise for the South Americans.
Both sides have qualified for the 2014 World Cup finals in Brazil.
 
Some fantastic humour in the Premier League today.

Arsenal 2-0 Southampton (Giroud 2)
Artur Boruc either thinks he's on Strictly Come Dancing on Saturday nights rather than Match of the Day, or he thinks attempting three Cruyff turns with Olivier Giroud nipping at his heels is a good idea.

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Everton 3-3 Liverpool (Coutinho, Mirallas, Suarez, Lukaku 2, Sturridge)
We had a handy reminder that Brendan Rodgers once thought Joe Allen was worth £15M and how ridiculous that notion is. Almost as ridiculous that Liverpool fans think they're going to win the league.

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West Ham 0-3 Chelsea (Lampard 2 [1 pen], Oscar)
Guy Demel thinks trying to knock an airborne ball back to your keeper with your thigh is perfectly acceptable defending.

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Stoke 2-0 Sunderland (Adam, N'Zonzi)
And.... referee Kevin Friend thinks this is a red card offence.

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ALSO
Hull 0-1 Crystal Palace
Newcastle 2-1 Norwich
Fulham 1-2 Swansea

So basically, a two ***** race between Houghton and Jol. Sack race, that is.
 
At least you aren't a Spurs supporter who has to wonder if they are even worthy of the top ten, let alone a top 5 position. Can't score and can't beat top-flight sides.
 
At least you aren't a Spurs supporter who has to wonder if they are even worthy of the top ten, let alone a top 5 position. Can't score and can't beat top-flight sides.

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We've already beaten six of them, thanks very much. All of which, to NIL. Chelsea are the only side that have conceded the first goal to Spurs and been able to come back to register. Yeah, at least he supports Everton, with a mind-boggling ONE FUCKING POINT more than Spurs after 12 games.

CONTEXT - only 4 points separate the teams in 2nd-9th, with Arsenal only a further 4 points ahead. Every team in the chasing pack has plenty of time to either get things right, or for the wheels to fall spectacularly off.

Hey, I remember you - you're the lad that couldn't tell the difference between a friendly and the Prem actually having kicked off with that Spurs-Sunderland game, aren't ya? I'm probably wasting my breath, then. Typing. E-breath. Whatevs. We'll be right back on course next game, we'll be at home to.... (checks fixtures) .... oh, for FUCK'S SAKE.

Fuck it, I can't wait for the next international break, me. And fuck Christmas too. Humbug.
 
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