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You can tell by the grammar and spelling.

Or a huge dong. Either.

http://www.cracked.com/article_19521_6-most-badass-self-inflicted-medical-experiments.html I'd never ****** my pennis with VD nor would I ***** cholera but I have super-glued a cut that went to the bone on my index finger when I was climbing in Red Rocks.

you're wondering right about now how many people your dick will feed.

My ex-girlfriend runs marathons and I enjoy the occasional 5k run, but I prefer watching sprints, especially during the Olympics.

How in the hell do you make your tits smell like this? And more importantly, why would anyone think I care? Why would this become a bone of contention?

Create a caption for this and you could win a pearl necklace.

They have my vote.

Get thee to a magistrate.

The awesomeness of the headline speaks to me in ways I cannot possibly fathom.

http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/articles/lovie-smith-says-voices-in-headset-keep-calling-hi,21267/ God bless The Onion.

No gaping buttholes or trannys. You know who I'm talking about.

http://www.ktnv.com/news/national/129312893.html Two of the victims were Nevada National Guardsmen in uniform. The gunman died right before I started posting this. Rot in hell, douche bag. " It's **** like this that weakens my faith in humanity.

http://www.cracked.com/article_19389_the-8-most-badass-make-a-wish-foundation-wishes.html It's things like this that help restore a small measure of faith in humanity. I didn't realize the Barefoot Contessa was such a bitch. Then again, she did confer that title upon herself, which is a...

I fucking love the factoids about TR and Andrew Jackson. That'd be in the second attachment.

Too good to be left only in the talk forum.

Works for me.

I love **** like this. Kinda reminds me of that conversation I had with the spambot that was trying to get me to join a dating website. http://www.unprofessionalemails.com/home.html

This button is connected to the Internet Kitten Database. You have access to over 2 billion different kitten pictures. This gives you a 100% guarantee that you will never post the same kitten twice. Okay, ***** glitch. I will fix that in version 1.1.

Make your own captions, I'm feeling lazy. the end.

Seeing as how popular the "Freeze!" thread has gotten, I thought I'd start another one.

No homo. Well, maybe a little.

Just wondering.

Me neither, but I needed a title.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit...

Just look at the results.

Guilty. But I never had a Grizzly Adams beard.

:funnyshit:

or West Virginia.

At a grocery store to be more specific. My ******* and I were getting some stuff for barbecuing last week and there was this big fat woman getting some strawberry ice cream and Mid Summer's Eve douche. I told my *******, "Someone's got a big night planned." And we giggled like eighth graders...

What a bargain.

Or his wang?

Look out, here comes sexy Aidrian Edmonson.

One of the most highly decorated Allied secret agents of World War II, Nancy ****, has died in London aged 98. Born in New Zealand but raised in Australia, she is credited with helping hundreds of Allied personnel escape from occupied France. The German Gestapo named her the "White Mouse"...

And here's the proof.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Steelers-coach-sells-Mercedes-to-team-cafeteria-?urn=nfl-wp4503 It is stories like this that help restore a bit of my faith in the inherent goodness in man.

Showoff.

Matt Damon's ****** is a college professor, so watch and laugh as he defends teachers against a shitty cameraman. Aside from saying the guy might be a shitty camera man he makes a very eloquent point. Discuss. Are ten percent of all teachers doing a sub par job or is it the self-entitlement...

ShTm8MnUAjo

:elaugh: Pronanly **** off some other types as well.

Is it weird that I find the can more attractive than Yoko Ono?

Especially when I pop my pecs, brah.

Because someone in jail will take it as a personal challenge.

http://www.cracked.com/article_19322_6-insane-holidays-youll-wish-you-celebrated.html I don't know about the rest of them, but I'd celebrate the living fuck out of Rouketopolemos or Rocket fucking Easter. Holy ****. It'd be kind of dangerous if there was a mosque nearby, though. Can you...