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Can't wait for these bras to hit the market :D

I've seen this loads of times but it's still a gooden :thumbsup:

Quick get the breathaliser done before she gets away with it :D

I've all of a sudden started to enjoy this game :thefinger

No wonder I'm a member of the AA :rofl:

As a guy takes his seat on an airplane, he is surprised to find a parrot strapped in next to him. After taking off, the flight attendant comes around to serve the passengers on the plane. The guy asks the flight attendant for a coffee and the parrot squawks: "And get ME a ****...NOW!" The...

:eek: Don't fart!!!

Granny : What did he say??? :rofl:

Imagine his surprise when the Pope sat down in the seat next to him for the flight. Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to the Pontiff. Shortly after take-off, the Pope began a crossword puzzle. 'This is fantastic,' thought the gentleman. 'I'm really good at crosswords. Perhaps, if the...

A pastor explained to his congregation that the church was in need of some extra money, so he asked them to consider being more than generous. He offered that whoever gave the most would be able to pick three hymns. After the offering plates were ****** about the church, the pastor glanced down...

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan Officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan. So the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls...

A ****** passing by his ***'s bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "***." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling...

Folks, I seem to be struggling to find African porn queens. Does anybody know any names????? Cheers. :thefinger

Folks, I seem to be struggling to find South American porn queens. Does anybody know any names????? Cheers. :thumbsup:

A ******* man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a *****. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table,leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her...

Folks, I'm off to Lake Tahoe next March and I'm wondering if its better than Big Bear Lake. When I went to Big Bear.I was 14 - 1st time skiing and when I found out there were babes skiing with their bikinis on...I was hooked.Then my learning curve from beginner to Super G downhiller was...

A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked. "Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once, on a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers who were...

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and went into a shop. I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him and said...

As you lie back, your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place...

She came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. The wife was VERY upset! "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me - a faithful wife, the ****** of your ********! I'm leaving you. I want an divorce straight...

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked toward the object, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling neckties. The Taliban asked, "Do you have...

Guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute Blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move. "You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk." The blonde, who had just opened her book...

Ammar has spent many days crossing the desert without water. His camel dies of thirst. He's crawling through the sands, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of...

A very sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were loose and flapping. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found...

This is scary for anyone who travels frequently by plane!!!! Actual crack in a US Airways DC-9 window frame! Fliers beware of the sub standard maintenance on the airplanes that you fly on. This is an actual crack that was found in the window frame on a DC-9. I'll definitely think twice...

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to seek his help in reviving her husband's libido. "What about trying Viagra? Asks the doctor. "Not a chance," she said. "He won't even take an aspirin." "Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Give him an Irish Soluble Viagra. Drop...

TICKLE ME ELMO There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8.00am. The next day at 8.45am there is a knock at...

If only he took part in the Tour De France :D

A TRUE PLAYA One evening, Mike went over to his friend, Terry`s, house to play cards with some friends. Mike sat directly across from Terry`s wife. Mike dropped a card on the floor and bent down to pick it up. When he looked across the table he saw that Terry`s wife had her legs wide open and...

Stay safe :thefinger

A couple were sitting up waiting for their 16 year old *** to come home from a social engagement when the boy came into the house with a big smile on his face. Hi, Mum ! Hi, *** ! he said breathlessly. "Guess what! I've just had sex for the first time, and it was wonderful!" His ******...

Happy e-mailing to your boss. But I'd leave it till your about to leave your job :thumbsup:

A blind man enters a Ladies bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a *****. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender: "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says...

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have ****** him, but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to...

Folks.The life of the Scots :wave2: Being Scottish is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian ****, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or ,aTurkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most Scottish...

This member of the Police Dog Unit has just requested a transfer to the **** Squad! :eek:

Quote from a ***: "This is my kindergartener's artistic rendering of a pair of scissors. I wonder what his teacher thought. And I am so dang proud of myself. I allowed myself just a small smirk when I saw it. I waited until he was out of the room before I started to cry from laughing so...

I would just like to know what people thought about this. If it was me (Thank fcuk my g/f's not in this) I would without one and hope to hell she's not got any nasties :D Stupid I know :wave2:

As the winter is approaching,we start to see the ladies replacing their shoes with big boots.My mate absoulutely loves this and I can't see why,because they always wear big woolly socks underneath them. So I would just like to know from my fellow perverts out there. Why get carried away as my...

Who is your favourite to lift the UEFA Cup this season? Since my team Glasgow Rangers scrapped past Livorno tonight.I think we have got to be favourites now :D Tartan Terrier :thumbsup:

Hi folks, This is my first post and I need some advice.Me and the lads are off to Riga - some time in the near future for a pretend stag-do,and we want to know where the best places to go are. Can anyone help? Cheers. Da-Terrier :glugglug: