When did you decide to be heterosexual?

I don't see many straight men gaying it out with other gay men just to "live a lie", sooooo...:dunno:



It's called society and it has nothing to do with science. It's more socially acceptable for females to be gay, so societally, more females tend to experiment with other females, as opposed to males with other males.

That's common sense...not science.



That's an impossible question to answer and you know it. That's the only reason you're asking it; so you can use it to support your argument. There is no answer to that question which will please the person who asks it (AKA - you).

But, to TRY...

I can't give you an exact moment as to when I decided to be straight. I just did. Just like when I decided that I liked the Bears, the color orange or the smell of mint...I just did.

When you're being raised as a child, you are at your most impressionable. Personally, while I was being raised, I was raised to believe that heterosexuality was how I was supposed to be, so I mimicked that lifestyle. I saw that boys and girls interacted with one another and not just with the members of the same sex.

As time went by, that became part of who I am. Just like my morals, values, emotions, opinions, etc...it became part of me.

People who claim that homosexuality is something you're born with are refusing to see the whole picture of things. Some people are born with a predisposition to become an alcoholic as well, but, in order to become an alcoholic, you have to pick up a drink first...and nobody makes you pick up that first drink; it's a choice.

:2 cents:

So homosexuality is like alcoholism? you personally choose to drink or it is in your DNA that you drink?

I have now idea how someone chooses to be that way with all the societal consequences, but it feels natural to them somehow. It is just that way. We as humans cannot be pigeon holed in strict defined terms of our sexuality.
 
I didn't have to decide, I have been attracted to girls since I was about 3 years old. I had a "girlfriend" then lol.
 
If being gay is in your DNA...then why aren't all sets of identical twins in which BOTH are gay? Identical twins essentially have the same DNA...and yet studies vary widely when it comes to finding sets of twins where both are gay. Percentages range from 10-50%...and usually have a particular bias from the outset. Still...common sense would say that if twins share nearly identical DNA...and a large percentage of them are NOT both gay...then other factors...environmental, social, psychological or choice must be involved.
 

GabberMan

Closed Account
If being gay is in your DNA...then why aren't all sets of identical twins in which BOTH are gay? Identical twins essentially have the same DNA...and yet studies vary widely when it comes to finding sets of twins where both are gay. Percentages range from 10-50%...and usually have a particular bias from the outset. Still...common sense would say that if twins share nearly identical DNA...and a large percentage of them are NOT both gay...then other factors...environmental, social, psychological or choice must be involved.

Correct!!:nanner:
 

ChefChiTown

The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
So homosexuality is like alcoholism? you personally choose to drink or it is in your DNA that you drink?

Not everyone who has DNA which primes them for alcoholism becomes an alcoholic. Nobody makes those people pick up a drink and have that life, even though their DNA is telling them to.

This isn't directed as you EAH, but everybody...

Let's get one thing straight: When you are born, you don't know what sex is. When you are born, you don't know what relationships are. When you are born, you don't know what a kiss is. When you are born, you don't know what spaghetti is. When you are born, you don't know how to ride a bike. When you are born, you don't even know who or what you are. When you are born, you don't know anything.

Yet, people want to claim that people are "born" a certain way. No, you aren't "born" a certain way...you grow up a certain way. You are influenced by your surroundings and come to your own decisions, whether it's sexuality, religion, morals or beliefs...you come to your own decisions on how you want to live your life.

Here is a serious question for those people who claim that being gay doesn't involve any sort of personal choice (and I'm dead serious)...

If you are truly "born" with a certain sexuality, making you sexually attracted towards different things, then what about pedophiles or people who are into beastiality?

If people are "born" with a certain sexuality, then it's not their fault that they are sexually attracted to those things, yet, I'm sure that 99.99% of people who claim that they are "born" a certain way will never defend such actions. Why not? Maybe they don't choose to be that way.

Food for thought...

:dunno:
 
Not everyone who has DNA which primes them for alcoholism becomes an alcoholic. Nobody makes those people pick up a drink and have that life, even though their DNA is telling them to.

This isn't directed as you EAH, but everybody...

Let's get one thing straight: When you are born, you don't know what sex is. When you are born, you don't know what relationships are. When you are born, you don't know what a kiss is. When you are born, you don't know what spaghetti is. When you are born, you don't know how to ride a bike. When you are born, you don't even know who or what you are. When you are born, you don't know anything.

Yet, people want to claim that people are "born" a certain way. No, you aren't "born" a certain way...you grow up a certain way. You are influenced by your surroundings and come to your own decisions, whether it's sexuality, religion, morals or beliefs...you come to your own decisions on how you want to live your life.

Here is a serious question for those people who claim that being gay doesn't involve any sort of personal choice (and I'm dead serious)...

If you are truly "born" with a certain sexuality, making you sexually attracted towards different things, then what about pedophiles or people who are into beastiality?

If people are "born" with a certain sexuality, then it's not their fault that they are sexually attracted to those things, yet, I'm sure that 99.99% of people who claim that they are "born" a certain way will never defend such actions. Why not? Maybe they don't choose to be that way.

Food for thought...

:dunno:

It is food for thought!

I dont know when I saw a rack of lamb the first time, it looked disgusting to me and when I tasted it, I did not like it. That was life experience.

When I saw a womens vagina in front of me the first time, I knew I loved it. That was a gut feeling.

Sounds like You Might feel the same way on the 2nd point. But why? You never saw one before that point or maybe in a magazine, but why did you feel that way? Enjoying women in the sexual context is not like riding a bike in the least. is it societal influence? or just the way you are?
 
If being gay is in your DNA...then why aren't all sets of identical twins in which BOTH are gay? Identical twins essentially have the same DNA...and yet studies vary widely when it comes to finding sets of twins where both are gay. Percentages range from 10-50%...and usually have a particular bias from the outset. Still...common sense would say that if twins share nearly identical DNA...and a large percentage of them are NOT both gay...then other factors...environmental, social, psychological or choice must be involved.

A far better argument against it being tied to DNA is the inherent suicidal aspect of the trait. Homosexuality leads to a fairly obvious problem when it comes to reproducing, thus the gene should inevitably be spread thin or vanish from the gene pool.

I should however point out a few other things.
First, biological causes does not necessarily equal DNA. Genes are one factor, but any number of abnormalities can be present in an individual without there being a genetic reason for them. Mutation, injuries and environment all have an impact on your development and biological state. I remember one study that concluded that there were distinct similarities between a homosexual man and heterosexual woman in an area of the brain that deals with sexuality (all I remember of the actual study was that they cut the brains into thin slices and saw the structure/number of some kind of pathways).
Second, based on studies of sexuality in primates, bisexuality is apparently fairly common. As animals are generally not influenced by social factors in the way or extent that humans are, this would indicate that there's at least some biological basis for it. Plus, bisexuality in social animals (thus also humans) makes perfect sense from an evolutionary point of view. Homosexuality doesn't, as I pointed out, but this may simply be an extreme manifestation of the same trait.

To use an analogy, it may very well be that biology dictates the hand we're dealt, but social factors decide how we play it. If this is so, biology could certainly be blamed in the cases of someone being dealt a particularly, erm, gay hand.

Let's get one thing straight: When you are born, you don't know what sex is. When you are born, you don't know what relationships are. When you are born, you don't know what a kiss is. When you are born, you don't know what spaghetti is. When you are born, you don't know how to ride a bike. When you are born, you don't even know who or what you are. When you are born, you don't know anything.

That's not entirely true. Reproduction is a basic instinct. Even plants are aware of the basics. They may not understand it, but that is another matter. Animals don't need to be told who to have sex with or how to do it, they seem to be fairly good at figuring it out on their own.

Here is a serious question for those people who claim that being gay doesn't involve any sort of personal choice (and I'm dead serious)...
If you are truly "born" with a certain sexuality, making you sexually attracted towards different things, then what about pedophiles or people who are into beastiality?
If people are "born" with a certain sexuality, then it's not their fault that they are sexually attracted to those things, yet, I'm sure that 99.99% of people who claim that they are "born" a certain way will never defend such actions. Why not? Maybe they don't choose to be that way.

The same logic is used when questioning personal responsibility and destiny. The generic question is: if I am ruled by an external factor of which I have no control, what gives you the right to punish me? The generic answer: if you are ruled by an external factor that forces you to act in a certain way, then I too am ruled by an external factor that forces me to punish you for it.

At any rate, as I've pointed out before, I doubt it's as simple as either something you are, or something you actively chose. There's a whole range of possibilities in between.
 
I don't feel like quoting you Chef, so I'll just pick and choose, and you can tell what i'm talking about.

when you talk about alcoholism, I'd say that it's the exact same thing as homosexuality. being an alcoholic has nothing to do with whether or not you drink, it just means that you have the biology to become addicted to it. If you are attracted to members of the same sex, then you are gay, even if you are married and have kids and never have a homosexual relationship.

as for your example of so-called deviant behaviors, I think that you are right. why would anyone choose to live a lifestyle that they know society is against and that they face punishment and imprison for (actually the same thing can be said for gays throughout history). Of course they wouldn't.

But to a certain extent you are right, no one is forcible compelled to commit an action that goes against their own judgment. that's called demonic possession and it doesn't exist.(Involuntary reflexes as a result of a neuro-impairment are a different story, but I think you can see what I'm getting at here.) Committing an action with no understanding or reasoning why you are doing it is called insanity. So people do Choose the actions that they commit or don't, but the impulses leading them towards those things are biological and outside of their control.
 
Why does it ALWAYS come down to being one OR the other???? Is it DNA ingrained programming or is it rearing and societal impressions?

The debate stems from the fact that we the people must decide it is one or the other. When in fact it is not. We are all told during our first biology lesson of how gender is decided in the womb. A combination of X and Y chromosomes and the level of Testosterone and Estrogen. These in fact choose gender and in a small way influence our character of sexuality. For example: more testosterone in a boy makes him more masculine, while and influx of estrogen can turn the boy somewhat effeminate.

HOWEVER....

These are not the finality of the end result....

How we are reared as children, (example: in a Heterosexual Family) such as little boys are to grow up and be John Wayne and little girls are to grow up and be Martha Stewart. These factors of rearing are influential in our day to day thoughts of what boys are and what girls are and how each act and interact.

NOW....

There is one last and final determining factor....

...and Chef is the only one so far that has voiced this so ardently....


PERSONAL CHOICE


As we enter into and experience puberty, and are continually influenced by society and our parents, we begin to experience our personal choices. We can choose to experiment or not to. We may decide what we like and do not like. We may decide in a moment of sexual exitement to try something new... or to not do.

The decision comes down to three determining factors:

1. DNA
2. Rearing/Societal Influence
3. Personal Choice

It is a combination of all three that determines who we are in terms of our Pubescent Sexuality. As we grow and learn during our Post-Pubescent Sexuality (Adult-hood), all three still beat on us daily.



In the end we are influenced by more that what we realize as it pertains to our sexuality, our psyche is far more complex than we think it is, yet we as a society want simple answers where no simple answer is found.

We want to believe that we have "it all figured out", when we really are more ignorant that we believe.

This thread, as a whole should have us ASKING more questions about what made us who we are, rather than defiantly declaring what made us who we are.

Just my :2 cents:

And for the record, I am a John Wayne... a manly man... a heterosexual.
 
I guess I'm just a victim of peer pressure, society tells me that I should like women, so I do. It's got nothing to do with the fact that I can think of a million reasons I like sex with women and not one that would make me want to have sex with a man.
 
1st clue, when I watched my first porno at age 6 or 7. 2nd clue, when I discovered some soft porn mags that my dad stashed away at 12 years of age. By that time I was already drawing naked chicks and fantasizing about them.
 

RealMenSwallow

Closed Account
I decided to be straight the first time I kissed a girl and rubbed her pussy through her jeans and listened to her moan. There's something about the way a woman moans that's an insane turn on.
 
When did you decide to be straight?

Or is it continuous decision? A fight, if you may? Like MegaChurch Pastor Ted Haggard from the News.

Personally, I can't choose to be gay. Doesn't work for me. My switch might be broken.

why do you think people decide to be striaght? there is nothing to decide about. thats just the way we are.
 
born, you don't know what sex is. When you are born, you don't know what relationships are. When you are born, you don't know what a kiss is. When you are born, you don't know what spaghetti is. When you are born, you don't know how to ride a bike. When you are born, you don't even know who or what you are. When you are born, you don't know anything.

That's a straw man. Bikes and Spagehetti are man made.

That's not true at all. Babies know to follow you with their eyes. To grab your fingers. To suckle. Nature and Nuture.

I didn't have to be taught to get aroused. I didn't have to be taught to be hungry or thirsty.

Yet, people want to claim that people are "born" a certain way. No, you aren't "born" a certain way...you grow up a certain way. You are influenced by your surroundings and come to your own decisions, whether it's sexuality, religion, morals or beliefs...you come to your own decisions on how you want to live your life.

Environment plays a large role in development, but some things are up to nature.

If you are truly "born" with a certain sexuality, making you sexually attracted towards different things, then what about pedophiles or people who are into beastiality?

I think pedophiles are probably born that way. Possibly stemming from an evolutionary advantage of getting girls younger and younger. Maybe not. Ultimately, it's up to them to control themselves, and if they cannot then it's our duty as a society to dispose of them.

I have no clue as to bestiality.
If people are "born" with a certain sexuality, then it's not their fault that they are sexually attracted to those things, yet, I'm sure that 99.99% of people who claim that they are "born" a certain way will never defend such actions. Why not? Maybe they don't choose to be that way.

It isn't their fault for being that way. But it's their fault for committing those actions. And even if it wasn't their fault at all, their still danger society.

Scientists are working on it right now. It may not be a gene problem. It may be natal problem. Wrong hormones in utero.

Needs more research, though. All hypotheses are just that so far.

Do you think homosexuality is morally wrong? Not that you've say anything to indicate where as, just wondering.
 
there hasn't been a statistical correlation between the sexuality of parents and their children, in fact if anything it would seem that contrary to nurture most "out" gay people cite having at least one parent that was opposed to it (usually dad, who is supposed to be our teacher in the ways of "manhood", so so much for that theory).

Also studies show that a majority of gay men have an older biological brother that is straight- yeah, explain that one to me. I don't get it.
 
Top