OK...jagger, I will answer what you posted, and you can go where you will.
I have had many handguns, some I really loved, a few I just gave away from lack of interest.
here's what I recommend...
Get a 5 shot snub-nose .38, 2" barrel...then put some Pachmyer grips or something similar on it for easy gripping and shooting.
Easy for a lady or a guy to shoot, accurate and uber reliable. Fits in a pocket and cleans easy.
But +P ammo, something like Hydra-shok or NiCad hollow points, will make the .38 a very serious firearm and will absolutely put someone out of contention with one shot.
Practice with basic cheap ball ammo, and you will be surprised at how easy to shoot and accurate it is...no discernible kick and hits what you point at.
Or...consider a Taurus .380 15-shot, basically a copy of the Baretta...I had one, and there was nothing other than a plating to be done to it...a perfect gun and you'd love it (any female who I took shooting loved the Baretta .380).
Euro police have used the .380 for many years, it's basically a 9mm short round. You'd want to use a copper-jacketed round, and believe me a self defense firearm is as good as the rounds that hit the target...both will do that little thing under stress.
I personally love the .45 ACP, and the .40 S&W...I've had both and truly love the .45.
A bit much for a non-gun person, though.