The worst thing you've ever said/heard during sex

[squallumz]

oh, i was telling my chick that she was fat, basically

mine was thin. but, i heard she's really fat now.

id still hit it for old times sake though.

 

[lamarwynn]

Her- " ohh baby, can you lick it till I queef "
Me- " until you what ???" Queef means pussy farts

 

[sean miguel]

Her- " ohh baby, can you lick it till I queef "
Me- " until you what ???" Queef means pussy farts

Did it make a loud BWAAARP sound?

:hatsoff: @ zdenka

 

[squallumz]

Queef means pussy farts

glad you cleared that up for us.

 

[lurkingdirk]

"My husband is a martial arts instructor."

 

[Mr_Stiffy]

"I want your babies."

Not what you want to hear when your current method of birth control is the pill. And it's too late to pull out. And you've only been together two weeks.

 

[twat36975248664224]

I gonna ruin your vagina

 

[Ace Boobtoucher]

Hot girl farting on my stomach.

 

[LucyOHara]

ERROR
404 - Penis Not Found

 

[STDiva]

i once dumped a chick during sex by telling her that i was in incredible pain from her riding me cowgirl

Everybody here knows you've never had sex. And if you did, you sure as hell weren't the one dumping anybody.

Once during sex a girl whispered in my ear, "The jews control the banks and the media."

 

[davidsmith20]

Was performing oral on my girl. She said "put it in my butt". I said "no, its dirty". She cried.

Backstory
I had done it a few times before. But my brother was in medical school and came down with a bad case of viral meningitis. I asked how he got it and somebody said you can get it from coming in contact with fecal matter.

 

[JaanaRuutu]

"queef means pussy farts" should have been my yearbook quote.

 

[BCT]

This one time my companion and I were fooling around, and I forget what we were talking about, but for some reason i blurted out with "CAN YOU DIG IT, SUCKA?!". it ruined the moment and we both had the giggles for like 15 minutes..bbut we both still finished, eventually.

et tu?

Just take it one burrow at a time.

 

[bobjustbob]

Girlfriend is drunk and wants to swallow one of my loads for the first time. I'll oblige. She was really into it and was doing a great job. I held off as long as I could and told her when I was letting it go. She just kept sucking even after the last drop and I lay there twitching with nothing left. I finally started going flaccid and told her how great it was. She says to me, "What? That was just per-cum. Let me get the whole load." Per-cum? Felt to me like everything I could give and more. Maybe she was just too drunk or too much into it to notice or both. Maybe she was used to getting those endless streams that only can be found in porn. It left me with some doubt about my volume but I think it's at least average.

 

[Mr. Daystar]

Come on Sandy, suck that cock.


Her name was Monica.

 

[Maggie Green]

I was shooting a g/g scene once and she had her ass to me..I was playing with her pussy and then something made me grab her butt cheeks and make them talk, like in Ace Ventura. I actually said, Excuse me, can I ASS you a question? We had to cut and we were dying laughing.

 

[rivasky]

me: "Why the belt?"

she: "Allahu akbar!"

 

[vodkazvictim]

:1orglaugh

I'm not even joking.
That's what he said to me.

"Jon!"

our mutual friend dared me to shout his name when i was banging my gf. i totally did it. it was actually pretty funny.

You're gay for Jon. Just admit it.

Come on Sandy, suck that cock.


Her name was Monica.

During phonesex I accidently referred to a girls clit as her cock. She didn't let me forget that for a long time.

 

[Petra]

"Just think, our parents do this"

 

[vodkazvictim]

"Just think, our parents do this"

What did you expect to hear when you fucked your sister?