The bible explained by /b/

[alexpnz]

While /b/ is technically a sub-board of many chan imageboards, it is more commonly known as the asshole of the Internets. According to Faux News, they are also a secret underground network of evil hackers on steroids. It is populated by pedophiles, furries, otaku, wapanese, Azns, WoWfags, otherkin, Trent Reznor, probably Will Smith, and recently gentlemen. Also, God has been known to lurk /b/ for hopes of landing some hawt Baby Fuck. All these fags are called /b/tards. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villany.

Ummmm.....okay STD, I'll just go ahead and take your word for it! :dunno:

 

[STDiva]

Ummmm.....okay STD, I'll just go ahead and take your word for it! :dunno:

Also...

The people on /b/ collect and distribute child pornography. /b/ is desensitized to any violence or sexuality. Not a day goes by on /b/ without someone being told to kill themselves. If you harm a cat and /b/ finds out about it, though, your life is about to be over.

 

[BlueBalls]

A joke that was intended to offend those that believe in the Bible.


Good on ya.

If you don't have a sense of humour about your faith you're never going to be taken seriously. At least the Muslims can take a joke, why not take a leaf out of their book? Hmmm?

May Buddha bring peace upon you.

 

[darkwarrior3007]

A joke that was intended to offend those that believe in the Bible.


Good on ya.

I believe in God and I wasn't offended at all. I thought it was funny.

 

[alexpnz]

Also...

The people on /b/ collect and distribute child pornography. /b/ is desensitized to any violence or sexuality. Not a day goes by on /b/ without someone being told to kill themselves. If you harm a cat and /b/ finds out about it, though, your life is about to be over.

Oh! okay, That makes mores sense!
K Thanx!

 

[STDiva]

This is also /b/

 

[Jack Davenport]

If you don't have a sense of humour about your faith you're never going to be taken seriously. At least the Muslims can take a joke, why not take a leaf out of their book? Hmmm?

May Buddha bring peace upon you.

[Sgt Hulka] The Muslims have a hell of a sense of humor[\Sgt. Hulka]


Ask Salman Rushdie

 

[STDiva]

A joke that was intended to offend those that believe in the Bible.


Good on ya.

You need to relax man. Sip on some Hennessey.

 

[lurkingdirk]

You need to relax man. Sip on some Hennessey.

Or fuck a watermelon. Also great therapy!

Incidentally, how did you get that picture? I thought I had the only copy. The camera was on self timer, afterall...

 

[dogbone27]

4 the people that don't what /b/ is
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan

 

[ThatRedWing]

You tell me that I sin,
You say I'm bound for hell,
So once your judgment condemns you,
I shall see you there.

 

[Trident1]

Since someone did this for the Bible, I take it the Koran is wide open for extensive comedic "shortening"?

 

[BlueBalls]

Since someone did this for the Bible, I take it the Koran is wide open for extensive comedic "shortening"?

Go nuts. :hatsoff:

Could you also throw in your own comedic interpretations of the Rigveda and the Book or Mormon as well?

Thanks.

 

[Trident1]

Go nuts. :hatsoff:

Could you also throw in your own comedic interpretations of the Rigveda and the Book or Mormon as well?

Thanks.

Absolutely. Zeenu will also make an appearance somewhere in my Koranic interpretation.

 

[lurkingdirk]

Absolutely. Zeenu will also make an appearance somewhere in my Koranic interpretation.

No interpretation of the Koran is complete without an appearance of Zeus.

Just like all scriptural reenactments need to include at least once scene with Ellen Degeneres. She exemplifies marriage, after all...

 

[sporty_carr]

Oh look, another thread bashing God. How................boring.
I'll just file this with the ranting HR threads.

 

[JayJohn85]

Old Testament God creates the universe and he sees it and it's serious business, but then Satan pretends to be a snake and trolls Eve, telling her Apple or GTFO (cuz she was already showing tits). She chooses the former and then she and her fuck buddy Adam get banned form Eden for being trollbait. Then a lot of serious f*cking incest occurs and we get the human race (wich explains a lot, really).

Then later God gets uber pissed about Pharaoh Hitler pwing the Jews so he gives Mozes some cheat codes for the universe. Mozes stages a mass slave runaway and he opens the sea so the Jews can run through, closing it behind him drowing the ancient Nazi's. God lol'd.

Some other less important stuff happens, mostly composed of a bunch of faggots writing emo poetry about God for him to fap to.

New Testament God finds Mary sleeping and just sticks the tip in and drops his load. Nine months later, Jesus is born. For his 13th birthday, God gave him more cheat codes than he gave Mozes, plus the rcon password for life and some CP.

Later, Jesus became a hard core ska punk and trolled the old school Jews hard. The got super pissed and permabanned him with a cross and some nine inch nails. They forgot he had God mode turned on though so he waited 3 days and hit vid_restart on the rcon panel, came back into life's server and laughed at the Jews.

After that, 3 more guys tell the same story, then this faggot Paul wrote an assload of shit about sex being evil and a bunch of other stuff that Jesus never f*cking said but everybody listened to Paul anyway because they're stupid.

The End.

As Satan's lawyer I regret to inform you that the neglect of mentioning him at all in this rendition of the bible can be construed as libel of a highly discriminatory nature. He has contacted me in regards to this highly sensitive issue. I suggest you get in touch with your solicitors miss Boothbabe

oh and good evening.

 

[HELLRAISER]

I agree with lbl summary of the bible and agree with the interpretation that Jesus Christ was a Zombie

http://api.ning.com/files/8gqMbbfdf...QPXcUmIgFzQl/zombie_jesus_by_ENominiPatri.jpg

Oh look, another thread bashing God. How................boring.
I'll just file this with the ranting HR threads.


Alongside your file called "sporty_carr <3 NeoCons" and your other filed called "Unfunny Posts by sporty_carr" make sure when you file my anti-NeoCon threads, label that file with this title:

Generic Christians + Generic Conservatives = NeoCons

 

[mr google]

Will E Worm, if you really are that sensitive about the religion to which you belong why didn't you keep that information to yourself?

We don't know what you look like so we can't comment and upset you. I don’t know how big or small your nose is. I can only guess that it's very big. :1orglaugh

If we didn't know your religious views we couldn't comment. Then, hopefully, you would have no reason to try and throw the rulebook in Boothbabe’s direction.

Also you don't own your religion. It's been around long before you were born and it will be around long after you are gone. :2 cents:

Now I'll hand you over to Petra. :bowdown:

...if you STIR THE POT and post things that you know people will disagree with (pretty much any political or religious view) the be prepared to eat what comes out of that pot.

We're all adults, put your big boy/girl undies and live with what you post.

:hatsoff::hatsoff:



I think you would need one of America's biggest prisons to accommodate of the folks you've offended here @ FreeOnes. :1orglaugh

Will, grab a cupcake, open a beer and relax but don't forget to put your undies on. :1orglaugh

Let he who is without sin be the first to hide behind the rulebook.

 

[Gordar]

ROFLMAO!

This version of the bible is funny, but the way Will managed to hijack a thread & keep it alive even longer than it would have been if he hadn't posted is simply hilarious!