Sorry.. just have to rant about my wife

[NavyBlue]

You'd think that, since it's Xmas everybody will be in a joyous mood? Well it's not happening to my wife and now I am not in a holiday spirits either.

My wife is always so annoyingly and frustratingly naggy. For example, if I pick a clothes for my son to wear, she'll complain that it's too small or not right for that time. She would pick the smallest things to argue with me, with her reasons that she had told me a thousand times and I would still do the same thing over and over, or that I should have know what she wants and do accordingly. Excuse me? How the hell do I know what she wants? Yet she keeps using that to accuse me of doing things wrong.

Just 30 mins ago she came downstairs (where I was having breakfast) and gave me the evilest stare, while telling me I put the wrong socks on our son again. I knew she cleaned the shelf where we put the baby's clothes and put the ones deemed too small away, so I picked a pair of socks from that shelf on the baby, and yet she still says it's too small, blah blah blah. So I told her I think it's the right size, and she insisted that that's not what she would have the baby wear, so I told her she always complain too much and that she's way too picky about everything. When she shot back that I am picky too, I almost told her that if I was picky I would never have married her, but held my tongue. After calling me an idiot she stormed back to the room where the baby is sleeping and closed the door, so I guess she don't want me to see the baby for rest of the day.

I've just about had it with her. She wants everything done to her liking or she'll raise a stink about it. She says I don't take care of the baby but I work full time while she's a house wife and I had to spent nights and weekends helping her with the baby and she's still not satisfied. I am very tempted to call a divorce lawyer and see what my options are. I took tomorrow's off from work and she rather have me go to work so she don't have to see me, well I may just leave to see a lawyer instead. What should I do to make her understand it's not just her way or the highway. I am sick of always having to defend myself about the things I do around the house. Nothing is good enough for her unless she's the one doing it. Help.

 

[squallumz]

if you cant work it out with her, try finding out from some peers or friends about decent consoling. dont jump to divorce or separation, its too easy. try romancing her, sitting down, explaining to her how you feel and that you love her and want things to be back to the way they were.

reason with her, let her tell you how she feels and take the criticism. take it. listen to her, be loving. i really hope things work out.

 

[Spleen]

You're not hitting her hard enough.

 

[squallumz]

You're not hitting her hard enough.

ouch. not cool. i mean, im trying to feel the humour, but oi man.

 

[young_guns]

tell her, talk things out...seek some help for both of you

 

[mongo18]

How new is the baby? She could have an honest hormonal imbalance. Was she like this before the baby or pregnancy? If not then you should definitely talk her into going to see a doctor for some happy pills. Babies are a lot of work, and if it's still young and she's doing all the feeding then she's probably pretty tired a lot of the time. There are also some irrationalities that mothers go through, for example when they first become mothers and you leave to go to work, they all seem to think that you're off partying and living it up. I don't know how many times I came home from work to be handed a baby and told "I've been looking after her all day, I need a break, now it's your turn." I always thought to myself, "yeah but I've been at work all day, so now you're getting a break, when is mine???" No matter how much you help, you're always going to hear "staying at home with the baby is work you know" and I don't think many men would argue that, but they too easily forget that going to work is work too. My advice is to not even tackle that one, it's just one concession that men have to make to keep the peace.
A baby can put a lot of pressure on a relationship, but if it wasn't bad before, it can definitely be good again, just be patient and flexible.

 

[Psychology]

This is one of the reasons I'm glad I'm single. Yeah, it sucks not getting laid, but there's no way I could deal with mood swings, nagging, and being told what to do. Call it a lack of maturity, a lack of growing up, whatever, but I couldn't live with someone telling me where to put clothes, having to deal with ups and downs in moods, nagging and whining. Damn, I might as well be living at home with my parents.

This topic has made me more thankful that I come at home everyday to a nice, quiet apartment with clothes on the floor and pizza for dinner. Thanks for the Christmas present, TC.

 

[meesterperfect]

I feel for you navy, tell me was she always like that, or just after you had a child with her?

American woman, get away from me-ee

 

[Dawn]

It could be many things...

Have she always been a controlling-type of person?

Since when is the baby there (and what mongo18) written?

Is it possible she constantly look to stir up confrontational situations about futile things because she doesnt dare to speak about what could be her real problem regarding you, her own life or her mother role?

For sure, you have to speak with her... to listen to her... to try to understand her... And be able to reverse roles. If you aren't able to do it, You Might want to find help for that.

Of course, if there is no discussions possible, there is always the option you considered (Divorce) but if i was in your situation, i would give a try to everything else before calling it a day.

:2 cents:

 

[prof_porn]

wife swap!

Its your answer sonny!

 

[assholebythedoor]

sounds like she is a good lady. you should keep her around

 

[fatman0529]

thats women for you especially new mother's...dont jump to conclusions bro, hang in there for your kid, no matter the age its hard for an child to go through a divorce whether they know it or not it will have an affect on the kid

 

[carfiguy]

You'd think that, since it's Xmas everybody will be in a joyous mood? Well it's not happening to my wife and now I am not in a holiday spirits either.

My wife is always so annoyingly and frustratingly naggy. For example, if I pick a clothes for my son to wear, she'll complain that it's too small or not right for that time. She would pick the smallest things to argue with me, with her reasons that she had told me a thousand times and I would still do the same thing over and over, or that I should have know what she wants and do accordingly. Excuse me? How the hell do I know what she wants? Yet she keeps using that to accuse me of doing things wrong.

Just 30 mins ago she came downstairs (where I was having breakfast) and gave me the evilest stare, while telling me I put the wrong socks on our son again. I knew she cleaned the shelf where we put the baby's clothes and put the ones deemed too small away, so I picked a pair of socks from that shelf on the baby, and yet she still says it's too small, blah blah blah. So I told her I think it's the right size, and she insisted that that's not what she would have the baby wear, so I told her she always complain too much and that she's way too picky about everything. When she shot back that I am picky too, I almost told her that if I was picky I would never have married her, but held my tongue. After calling me an idiot she stormed back to the room where the baby is sleeping and closed the door, so I guess she don't want me to see the baby for rest of the day.

I've just about had it with her. She wants everything done to her liking or she'll raise a stink about it. She says I don't take care of the baby but I work full time while she's a house wife and I had to spent nights and weekends helping her with the baby and she's still not satisfied. I am very tempted to call a divorce lawyer and see what my options are. I took tomorrow's off from work and she rather have me go to work so she don't have to see me, well I may just leave to see a lawyer instead. What should I do to make her understand it's not just her way or the highway. I am sick of always having to defend myself about the things I do around the house. Nothing is good enough for her unless she's the one doing it. Help.

I was scared to click on this thread. Now I know why.

DEJA VU`!!! Its like looking into a mirror.

here's my take on it. How are the good times? Are there any? Whats the point of staying with someone if you don't enjoy it. I told my wife this. I told her that I wouldn't have a problem leaving if this is how it would be. It wasn't a threat, and I wasn't just trying to scare her. I calmly said, I have absolutely no problem leaving you if I have to. She got the point and things are starting to turn around. We'll see if it lasts, but you need to put the foot down.

 

[Facetious]

When she shot back that I am picky too, I almost told her that if I was picky I would never have married her, but held my tongue.

You're a damned good man, Navy !

Truth is, certain select women can have a tendency to get psycho before, during and after their pregnancies, and for their victims, there's little immediate remedy. You might just have to take the heat for a while because it sounds like her chemistry might be a little haywire for the time being.

I think that it couldn't hurt for you to develop a better understanding about what is going on with your wife at this particular time, particularly if this condition didn't occur prior to the pregnancy. A little reading into the subject, about women and post birth ("Post Birth Obstetrics Basics For The Husband" lol ! That was my own made up title, BTW), might go a long way for you.

Again, I reiterate - If this super duper bitch kinda thing wasn't apparent before her pregs, she's got a chem thing going on. See a specialist (a real MD, from your hospital, BTW, not some self styled, fly by night therapist !) about it and see what they could recommend for you because I'd like to think that it's only temporary.

~ Best To You & Family

 

[cabey]

There's been alot of great advice offered in this thread (see above post for example).

If you try and talk to her i feel she won't listen at all, and this will frustate you further. The only people she might talk to are her family, you may have to approach her mom or dad and tell them the situation DELICATELY!!! Ask them to talk to your wife, but they have to be subtle or she may react even worse to the intrusion.
Your wife somehow needs to realise there is a problem, so that she can agree to see doctors or counsoling.
This may be tempory, BUT, she may may fall into a habit of being a bitch even after her post pregnancy depression is over.

 

[LBP 76]

If I have a beef with a woman I'm with, I tell her right away; as calmly and completely as I can. If the problem cannot be satisfactorily resolved within a reasonable time frame, I end the relationship.

Postpartum or not. You never let lover's/spouse's walk on you or hurt you, it's not good for the relationship.

Being understanding and being emotionally abused are two different things.

 

[Nina_Mercedez]

if you cant work it out with her, try finding out from some peers or friends about decent consoling. dont jump to divorce or separation, its too easy. try romancing her, sitting down, explaining to her how you feel and that you love her and want things to be back to the way they were.

reason with her, let her tell you how she feels and take the criticism. take it. listen to her, be loving. i really hope things work out.

I agree this is good advice although I don't ever involve friends into my problems when I have them because some times they are only on my side no matter what I say. but talking to her is best before jumping right into a divorce.
Your happiness comes first though!

 

[meesterperfect]

Actually the kid comes first.
I'm not sure if even if he gets a divorce he will be happy, and depending on what state he lives in.
If his wife is like he says she is, she will go for the jugular, meaning hefty child support, probable alimony and a very limited visitation with the child, for 18+ more years.
She is in a position to ruin him, emotionally and financially. A legal nightmare.

Depending on his income he may have to live in squaller, or with his parents and probably have to work two jobs to support himself and the ex and the kid in seperate homes.
He's in a pickle.
Even if he makes good money and supporting her and the child is not a big problem, the mother can keep the child from him as much as she wants, with or without a legal agreement, an emotional nightmare if he loves his child.
Cheaper to keep her, he really should try to do whatever it takes to resolve the problem, but its all up to her.

 

[Timbobjambo]

Actually the kid comes first.

I was wondering when someone was going to mention this. Maybe its my age but i wouldn't give jack shit about the wife if she act like this. How ever i would do anything for the kid ( if it was mine ).

 

[meesterperfect]

Excuse me for overposting.
Let this guys post be a lesson for everybody, men and women.
Be careful who you marry or have kids with.

Being alone can suck, but marrying and/or having kids with the wrong person is much worse.

Problem is, many people change or take off the mask once theyv'e got you hooked, so you gotta be real careful.

Blinded by love, or loneliness can have very bad results.