No, I have no job. I live in a government subsidized cardboard box, under a bridge, just outside Sherwood Forest. It's me, six horny midgets and this weird chick named Snow White, but her friends call her Cinderella. Cindy has mad B.O., so I normally sleep outside the box these days.
When I sold my mortgage company to CSFB back in the late 80's, it was pretty much all down hill from there. Every now & again, I do leave the forest and go to this place that asks me for ideas on how to improve processes and productivity. I go down to Kinkos and have the girl print out some charts and graphs that are laying on the floor and that company seems to buy whatever shit that I'm selling. They even give me a percentage of the first year's cost savings as a quarterly bonus. But you are right: you can't really call it a job. A lot of days, the closest thing I do to actual work is make brunch for the dog. Does she appreciate it?! No! Maybe this ungrateful dog is the source of my extreme anger?
My hope is to someday be more like you. You know, finally get my shit together and become a happy, content, productive member of society and not worry about what other people are doing with their lives... or who they're doing it with. Maybe build a big house on 7 or 8 acres of land out in the country. Buy some horses. Go to auto races and car shows on free weekends. Get a girlfriend who is content not to live with me. Fuck around on chat forums for shits & giggles. Do a little day trading, flip a house or two and general what-not activities. Well, maybe some day...
You're right, man. I gotta get out of this damn box with this stinky girl and these freakin' midgets! How do you write one of them cover letter thingies, anyway? Is it better to have a cute cover letter or to have a head-hunter contact you and you're told that you can basically name your price and the terms if you'll agree to a three year contract with a non-compete clause? Something about reputation and word of mouth. What's that mean? Which is better? Sounds like you know 'bout this here stuffs. Probably the cover letter, huh? I'll start on that... uh, tomorrow. I better hook the dog up with some chow first. In fact, I need to eat too - ain't payin' for the midgets though. :nono:
No shit, you are an interesting "internet character", my man. Have a good day, rock star! :hatsoff: