Ace Boobtoucher
Founder and Captain of the Douchepatrol
It's not what you're thinking, you dirty perv.
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I had a similar experience in Rio de Janeiro about five years ago. I was walking towards the Ipanema, a blissfully unaware tourist when a youngish guy approached and said I had something on my sandal. I looked down and sure enough there was a dime sized piece of dog **** on the toe of my shoe. I was immediately suspicious of the good Samaritan because who the fuck gets dog **** on the toe of their boot?
The guy said he'd be happy to take care of it for 50 reais, which at the time was the equivalent of 20 dollars and as luck would have it, he just happened to have his shoe polishing kit with him. I did the math and said no thanks I'll just find a tissue or a scrap of paper and take care of it myself.
He showed me the bottom of his kit on which was written in ball point pen his rates for Brazilians and his rate for Americans which was ten times the amount for natives. I started laughing and one of his buddies came out from behind an apartment complex trying to look menacing.
I started walking towards the beach with these two schmucks in tow and I spotted a tourist cop. That is, he was a policeman detailed to help tourists avoid people like this. I waved him over, explained the situation and he told me to keep walking. The shoe shine guy was pissed off mightily and started after me but I saw the cop grab him by the shirt and give him a good smack.
So if you're traveling and are obviously a tourist keep your wits about you.
I had a similar experience in Rio de Janeiro about five years ago. I was walking towards the Ipanema, a blissfully unaware tourist when a youngish guy approached and said I had something on my sandal. I looked down and sure enough there was a dime sized piece of dog **** on the toe of my shoe. I was immediately suspicious of the good Samaritan because who the fuck gets dog **** on the toe of their boot?
The guy said he'd be happy to take care of it for 50 reais, which at the time was the equivalent of 20 dollars and as luck would have it, he just happened to have his shoe polishing kit with him. I did the math and said no thanks I'll just find a tissue or a scrap of paper and take care of it myself.
He showed me the bottom of his kit on which was written in ball point pen his rates for Brazilians and his rate for Americans which was ten times the amount for natives. I started laughing and one of his buddies came out from behind an apartment complex trying to look menacing.
I started walking towards the beach with these two schmucks in tow and I spotted a tourist cop. That is, he was a policeman detailed to help tourists avoid people like this. I waved him over, explained the situation and he told me to keep walking. The shoe shine guy was pissed off mightily and started after me but I saw the cop grab him by the shirt and give him a good smack.
So if you're traveling and are obviously a tourist keep your wits about you.
