Rough Sex in the Real World

[Member2019]

Re: It's a dance, but she leads ...

i would love to see just how you came up with this statatistic. a little proof is in order.

Can't find the exact statistic on husbands, but the statistics of husbands, boyfriends and co-habitants is 20-30%, depending on the factor/study:
http://www.endabuse.org/resources/facts/

I'll try to find the study that focused solely on husbands, but given the above, you can safely assume it's over 10%.

 

[albanyanonymous]

Yep, when to go farther?

When they ask you to "do that more"

You should be able to tell what they like and just go VERY slowly to teh next step in anything - position, bondage, whatever - any discomfort or disagreement menas just plain stop, but encouragement to continue and go harder faster deeper tighter etc means take the next tiny baby step.

 

[bravado]

Seriously folks, do you really think that your girlfriend will act like a porn whore???

That is all staged up and made against a big amount of $$$$$$$

So, doesn't real caring sex make sense to you? It makes sense to me... I can't imagine making anal sex with my wife or force her to swallow without her consent...

If those porn bitches want to look like sex slaves, they don't respect themselves... My wife does!!!:glugglug:

 

[pickles&cumquat]

I once made the mistake of grabbing my ex-girlfriends hair while thrusting rather vigorously doggie style, she started to cry, i stopped, felt guilty and got no sex for over a week

 

[loveforbarbie]

Some of you have been unlucky I hear.

 

[Paskkal]

I usually go: "I´´d like to have it a little rougher.Just say "stop" when it gets oo hard!"
And then I go step by step.
No big deal.

 

[HMan1966]

My girl usually asks for it. She likes to be fucked hard and gets a bit impatient if I'm too gentle. She will just tell me to go for it.

 

[dick van cock]

When do you know it's "ok" to start getting rough in bed with a girl?

Have her fill out a three-page questionnaire first:

- Hair pulling ? Tick!
- Spitting? Tick!
- Anal fist? Tick!
- Vivisection? Tick!


... and make sure to fax a signed copy to your lawyer! :nannerf2:

 

[titsrock]

Is "spitting" considered "hawt" by chicks? I think spitting on a girl pretty much destroys any idea that two people are having sex with each other..if by spitting you mean literally spitting on her face or hair or something..

It's okay to just hold onto hair too ya know...you don't need to grab a fistfull and go for this giant whiplash-enducing head snap...

There is no "correct way" to do anything. People have different tastes and moods. Some chick might be so turned on she wants her brains fucked out and another just wants to climb aboard for a slow ride...it all depends.

Claire Dames, one of my faves at the moment, has a tattoo on her lower abdomen that says "Hit it harder"...just an fyi..

 

[Caitlain]

You can start pounding her a little harder and check her reaction... if she seems to like it, keep on going harder... then, each time you fuck her, get a little rougher... she'll talk to you about it and she won't be too surprised because you started pulling her hair and maybe even hurting her all of a sudden!

That's the best answer I've seen here, and that's what I'd suggest for anyone. Usually, in my case, I like *really* rough sex, so you're going to pick it up from me before you get the chance to have to worry too much about it (in most cases). But if you just open up on her, as others have said, you run the risk of encountering some.....issues.

A *lot* of women like rough sex, but they have to work into a trust with you. If it is your first night, just opening up will scare her more than anything. You need to wait and let her indicate to you that she wants to go that route, OR, as is outlined above, go a bit rougher and see how she reacts. If it is favorable, then step it up a notch.

If you want to get really rough with her (slapping, spitting, etc.), I'd suggest you just ask her how rough she wants it once you've gotten pretty serious with it. I sure wouldn't just haul off and slap her out of the clear blue even if you had been banging her head against the headboard. That's "too much" of an escalation.

 

[titsrock]

^^^So you find it *attractive* if a guy spits on you? Seriously?

 

[thapie]

my former gf enjoyed 'rough" sex from time to time , by porn standards it was pretty tame . mostly grabbing ,pulling ,pushing and banging hard it seemed to work for her and i can't say that i continue or have much interest to in my new relationship but who knows ...we'll see when she gets home !

 

[ChefChiTown]

I don't last long enough to even begin to think about getting rough with a girl.

 

[Caitlain]

^^^So you find it *attractive* if a guy spits on you? Seriously?

I don't recall stating that I found anything "attractive" in that post. lol

I've never had anyone spit on me or ask to. I won't rule it out, even though I can't imagine myself enjoying that. Horniness does strange things to people some time. <3

 

[VidKing]

I didn't really realize this was something people had to ask about. Now, when I think of rough sex, I just think of doggy with hair pulling and spanking...no more. And as that as my definition of rough sex, I've always been able to tell without having to ask. Usually, if I read the signs, I bring it up before we've even kissed (but of course, we're in a situation where we've been flirting for a while). Like I'll tell her that I know (don't say "guess," say "know") what her favorite position is. Girls have always loved me guessing that correctly. I get it right because the answer over 80% of the time is doggy (I'm only speaking of my experience). So, it makes me look like I know what I'm doing in bed because I "read her." I just say doggy everytime. So, like I said, I've got like a 4 out 5 chance of being right. You know what happens if you do get it right? Usually she'll open up and tell you what else she likes right then. She'll say "you're right and I like getting my hair pulled and sometimes spanked." I've had that happen like 3 or 4 times.

Also, there's a fundamental problem in asking. The whole psychological high of rough sex is the dominance/submission element. Asking reverses roles. It makes the asker the submissive one and the askee the dominant one. That misses the whole point. So, like I said above, I try to use a technique to get around that. If a girl wants you to "take her hard" then she's probably not begging for you to "be a gentleman and ask if she will let you." See the problem? Confidence in who you are what you want is usually attractive to women.

So, just in my opinion, if you want rough sex you should (in the flirting stage) bring it up. Try the technique I listed above or somehow come up with a way to talk about it beforehand. That way, you avoid the whole 'rape' question people are concerned about and you get the greenlight without asking (which hurts your game). If you can talk about this while you're still just flirting...it's like foreplay...its very hot.

Remember, I'm not suggesting you just do it; I'm suggesting try a better way of finding out than asking.

 

[Caitlain]

^^^ That pretty much goes along with what I suggested.

I really like the point you made here:

Also, there's a fundamental problem in asking. The whole psychological high of rough sex is the dominance/submission element. Asking reverses roles. It makes the asker the submissive one and the askee the dominant one. That misses the whole point.

That's an excellent way to frame it.

The trick is to be able to "read her" as you suggest and make sure you don't' step over that invisible line. That's why I suggested that you do ask her how much rougher she wants it if you get to the point where you're getting "serious" with the roughness (i.e., the point where you might start bruising or leaving marks or doing something really outlandish [such as spitting or slapping the face]).

 

[VidKing]

The trick is to be able to "read her" as you suggest and make sure you don't' step over that invisible line. That's why I suggested that you do ask her how much rougher she wants it if you get to the point where you're getting "serious" with the roughness (i.e., the point where You Might start bruising or leaving marks or doing something really outlandish [such as spitting or slapping the face]).

In my mind, I don't plan on going those further steps so I wouldn't need to ask, but I see your point (for those that want to go even further). However, I do slap girls sometimes...but only with 100 dollar bills to the face: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQatZM8ZOfU

 

[titsrock]

Let me cut to the chase of this^^^ and sum it up as "Some do, some don't."

Wow, Fox. We've really broken some new ground here!

 

[Caitlain]

Let me cut to the chase of this^^^ and sum it up as "Some do, some don't."

Nothing like not beating around the bush, no?

 

[titsrock]

Nothing like not beating around the bush, no?

The reward for reading the opus above is this line...

For some people, when you're horny (myself included), pretty much anything in the world is hot. With a few exceptions, but not many.