Post Your Best Relationship Advice

Read a post about having a pretty girlfriend being hard because of the attention she gets from other people. My thoughts, if you're that insecure in a relationship then man up and end it first. Any sage bits of wisdom anyone would like to share on this topic? What's your best bit of relationship advice that's served you well?
 

Ace Boobtoucher

Founder and Captain of the Douchepatrol
A hundred dollars goes a long way towards solving all relationship issues.
 
A $100?!? Dude, that ain't shit. I got REAMED by an ex-GF of mine, a DECADE AGO, for spending that on her for Valentine's Day. (Of course, she wanted M-O-R-E!!!)

About jealousy: If at the end of the night, after all the attention from other dudes - she is GOING HOME WITH ME, the rest is "just noise..."
 
Don't stop believing'... hold onto that feeling...
 

bobjustbob

Proud member of FreeOnes Hall Of Fame. Retired to

FreeOnes_Adam

FO Admin - 19 Cents of Magical Cock (her/shey)
Staff member
Cook her dinner. But make sure you don't wash a single fucking pot or pan, or the fucking plates. That well guarantee a blowjob at the very least.

If seagulls aren't hovering over the sink, you've fucked up.
 

Ace Boobtoucher

Founder and Captain of the Douchepatrol
True but our friend got burned again.

"Shes a dirty rotten thief

Sent her 40.00 for a 20 min skype video. She took teh money and never gave me my skype date

have emailed and tweeted her multiple times and she ignores it

fuck this fat bitch"

PICS, mang. We need pics.

Some more good relationship advice:

If she asks if a dress makes her look fat, tell her "yes." Women appreciate honesty.

Farting and stuffing her head under the covers is always a crowd pleaser.

Box up all the clutter she leaves in the bathroom and donate it to Goodwill. Women appreciate organization and charity.

Vampires only sparkle when their taints get tickled. Tell her "Twilight" is for homos and crazy cat ladies. Again, women appreciate honesty.
 

Ace Boobtoucher

Founder and Captain of the Douchepatrol
Also, make sure to mention to your paramour that nothing turns you on more than men with tits or porn produced by Joey Rivera.
 
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