OMG ! I watched porn with my wife and it bored me ! Help !
- Thread starter Dr.Brisson
- Start date
I think you should talk to your wife about this. Maybe you can find out what turns her on and what turns you on and then work on a compromise that will turn you both on.
What the fuck is wrong with people? Do they not know how to live?
As you say who the fuck can even get hard or relax their rectum with that shit all over the place. It doesn't sting, it doesn't burn and nothing rips when forced into a tight position.
You people disgust me!
It is kids these days. They want sex to be smooth, comfortable, and pleasant. The don't know that the drier, sandier, and bloodier it gets, the greater the reward. No one is willing to work hard to punish or humiliate their partners anymore.
I challenge everyone here to expand their world, and their rectum, but reaming yourselves with a frozen aluminum baseball bat dipped in corn meal This weekend.
And if you're not interested in that people, then clearly we have nothing more to discuss. You lazy cock-holsters! :thefinger
Bunch-a pussies!
Take it from me you bunch of draft dodging hippy bastards! You've never had true sexual gratification before, none of you and I can state that as gospel because you've never had a half dead chicken clawing at the backs of your legs and pecking your ass from the inside before whilst administering a rectal enema with your own piss and a bag full of concrete.
You have not lived ladies and gentlemen until the blood running down your legs which originates deep within your own asshole isn't your own.
None of you have even experienced the majesty and pleasure that any of these acts truly allow a person to experience. It's mind altering let me tell you. It allows you to touch the face of the creator one bloody and shit stained hand at a time.
Before this I was like you, with your butt plugs and your water based lube, but no I left all of that behind, plus a wife and kids in a big house to follow a dream! How many of you piss ants could even come close to that kind of life! None of you, that's who, because you're weak and you won't open your eyes to the possibility of true happiness and sexual gratification.
::BlueBalls will be away from the computer for a few moments, he needs to change his colostomy bag::
GregCentauro
Banned
Generic answer #518: Get a new wife
Will E Worm
Conspiracy...
You need an actual hobby.
Baseball cards, comic books, read a book?
Baseball cards, comic books, read a book?
Maybe you two should find other people since you obviously stopped loving each other a long time ago. Your inability of being able to make love while watching a pornography shows you have no interest in her whatsoever. If you did have interest in her you would have brought home something she would of enjoyed. A big, long, hard dick! Instead, what did you bring home? WHAT DID YOUR BRING HOME, YOU BASTARD!?
You brought home two other women! I bet you enjoyed watching those two women. Did you think of your wife, though? No. You did not. You were too busy watching two other women. She is wondering where the dick is. She finally gets your dick, and what do you do? You are so focused on the two women you can't even supply your own dick to her!
What kind of monster are you!? Yeah. This was more about you than it was for her. You just treat her like a trophy wife. Like she is some thing!
In the meantime you should be ashamed of yourself!
Think he took me seriously and read the first paragraph, got upset, and immediately quoted me to reply I am horrible????
You brought home two other women! I bet you enjoyed watching those two women. Did you think of your wife, though? No. You did not. You were too busy watching two other women. She is wondering where the dick is. She finally gets your dick, and what do you do? You are so focused on the two women you can't even supply your own dick to her!
What kind of monster are you!? Yeah. This was more about you than it was for her. You just treat her like a trophy wife. Like she is some thing!
In the meantime you should be ashamed of yourself!
Think he took me seriously and read the first paragraph, got upset, and immediately quoted me to reply I am horrible????
maybe have her pick out some porn next time. she might surpirse you, which would probably be a big turn on.
I find it impossible to believe that a woman who is comfortable enough suggesting that you bring porn into the bedroom hasn't watched quite a bit of it herself privately. Which means that your fear about it being "cheap" or "in bad taste" is irrelevant. She knows it's cheap. She asked for cheap. Give her cheap.
A gigantic part of the problem you are going to have with this type of situation is that good porn pretty much died out about 10 years ago or more, and good porn that could be good for couples died out about 15 or maybe 20 years ago. The stuff now is gimmicky, fake, misogynistic, and insulting. It also often treats the people in it as more sex dolls than actual people having sex. While porn was never truly realistic it's even an order or magnitude less so now. Even in the cases where that isn't so it has virtually no eroticism anymore, doesn't set itself up well anymore, and the producers and directors are pretty much clueless or don't care.
My advice is if you and your partner really want to try out watching it together is get some of the old classic generic stuff. It's as sad as hell, but when one goes back and watches the old stuff you can tell how it kicks the ass of anything made now.
My advice is if you and your partner really want to try out watching it together is get some of the old classic generic stuff. It's as sad as hell, but when one goes back and watches the old stuff you can tell how it kicks the ass of anything made now.
tartanterrier
Is somewhere outhere.
At least you never fell asleep :hatsoff:
Gapeman 3
Spamalot, eh ?
Why did you even bother reading this in the first place ?
In return I have an advice of my own for you. Buzz off !
I tend to agree with you, but really, thanks for the advice ! I'll try that !
At first I thought we'd do it together, but she's too shy. So I went alone.
But I do enjoy some of the newer stuff when I'm alone.
Your kind of humour is lost on me.
I don't know about that. I know her pretty well. We shopped online over the adult DVD collection of our local automatic DVD rental machine and she seemed to dislike the same stuff as what made me uncomfortable.
Why did you even bother reading this in the first place ?
In return I have an advice of my own for you. Buzz off !
I tend to agree with you, but really, thanks for the advice ! I'll try that !
At first I thought we'd do it together, but she's too shy. So I went alone.
But I do enjoy some of the newer stuff when I'm alone.
Your kind of humour is lost on me.
I don't know about that. I know her pretty well. We shopped online over the adult DVD collection of our local automatic DVD rental machine and she seemed to dislike the same stuff as what made me uncomfortable.
Damn. Not a mention of the conversation between me and Blue. I'm a bit disappointed.
I'm totally going to take it out on Blue's ass. I was going to leave the pineapples at home this weekend, but forget that now.
I'm totally going to take it out on Blue's ass. I was going to leave the pineapples at home this weekend, but forget that now.
Why does this glove belong to Voltaire?
Indeed. I missed it.
Because he criticized the catholic church? :dunno:
It's symbolic. It's supposed to represent the literary pounding Voltaire gave the Catholic church during his time.
Just like how; Voltaire's Mechanized Army, represents the disdain he had for French society.
