R
RogueAlan
Guest
Re: the Official Nikki Nova thread
Vern,
Ewww.... and Hahahahaha....
great clips. Gaffigan is a fave. Saw Stephen Wright back in the 80's... that flat affect delivery has to be hard to perfect. And liked Jake Johnansenn's 'I Love You' which was a solid 'this is still a funny life 20 years after we were 20' show.
bad joke? uhm... Well, since Nikki is always so busy, she went to a geek who'd shadowed the board for years, and asked if he could help her out. he said he'd been working on just the thing, & undressed... er unveiled a cloning machine. He asked if she was a dog or cat person, and she shrugged and grabbed BJB's unle's monkey and held it out to said geek.
Our mad geekist puts the monkey in the phone booth he's got wired like a McFly DeLorean, and has Nikki lie back in a similarly foil and wire hangar dedazzled tanning bed. Our heroine does so with some trepadition, but he's promised to help her with her problem and in her 5" heels she's half a foot taller then he is, so it's all good. He pushes a button, there's a buzz and a flash nothing like you'd get from a Sybian or a tanning bed, And...
Voila, a perfect clone of Nikki (not aka nikki) climbs out of the phone booth, naked. Yes guys, naked. Without missing a beat Nikki II sets to work writing an aritcle on tax shelters for cam performers in the recessional economy while shooting candid photos to keep the mad geekicist voting on the board.
Our heroine is thrilled, but her hero admits he is 'worried.' When she asks why, he explains Nikki II seems to be an exact opposite... He points to the leopard tattoo with inverted spots facing the wrong way. Ever the optomist, Nikki is unfazed, thanking our geek with a hug and a wink.
Soon enough, though the horrible truth is apprent. Nikki II is the antithesis of our heroine. She is mean, dour, demanding, arrogant, and greedy. She insults friends and ignored strangers. Nikki tries to put up wit it... Nikki II is getting lots of work done. But soon the complaints start to come back from her publishers, men in too tight suits in too small cubicles, they do not lie the tone of her 'new work.'
And reading the article that was supposed to discuss the death of network television in an internet world, Nikki is aghast at the unending string of sexually explicit anecdotes that fill an article intended for Reader's Digest!
Grabbing Nikki II, she heads to the nearest mountain in her desert state. Finally reaching the great salt dune in Colorado (like i said, home is a desert...keep reading, you've stayed this long) she insists Nikki II will 'love the view' and when her opposite leans out just far enough, our heroine applies a gently shove... no polling necessary... & the horrid copy plumets to her gruesome death.
Relieved, our heroine jumps into her car and hurries back to see what has become of her thread on bad joke Friday. Before she can log on, though, there is a knock on her door. She answers to find the interstate branch of TSA on her Zepplin doormat. They push into the room, insisting she strip for a 'millimeter wave scan' before agreeing among themselves they have 'found their woman.' Clapping her into some of Miss Hybrid's padded cuffs, they assure our heroine she'll wish she'd never violated a Homeland Security statute.
Puzzled, Nikki asks 'what statue?' TSA agent marble mouth repeats, 'Statute.'
'Oh,' Nikki blushes prettily, 'but what statute.'
'We thought that would be obvious,' the 2nd over important inspector huffs...
Anyone?
c'mon, you've heard this!
She was guilty of making an obscene clone fall.
Sorry... was that bad enough? heh heh heh.
As to TV, I leave one on all the time, but rarely pay attention... it's white noise.
And hockey, love watching it live as the pros... locally it's 'semi-pro' which is the difference between boys n men. and I'll try not to be offended about the baseball crack... i can't argue as far as watching goes, but love the strategy & team interactions actually PLAYING... or coaching as the sands move through the hourglass.
Nikki, glad to see you made it through in 2 categories. Totally understand real work & obligations will keep ya from the board, but never fear. the votes are yours. & love the new thread.
Pax all,
RA
Vern,
Ewww.... and Hahahahaha....
great clips. Gaffigan is a fave. Saw Stephen Wright back in the 80's... that flat affect delivery has to be hard to perfect. And liked Jake Johnansenn's 'I Love You' which was a solid 'this is still a funny life 20 years after we were 20' show.
bad joke? uhm... Well, since Nikki is always so busy, she went to a geek who'd shadowed the board for years, and asked if he could help her out. he said he'd been working on just the thing, & undressed... er unveiled a cloning machine. He asked if she was a dog or cat person, and she shrugged and grabbed BJB's unle's monkey and held it out to said geek.
Our mad geekist puts the monkey in the phone booth he's got wired like a McFly DeLorean, and has Nikki lie back in a similarly foil and wire hangar dedazzled tanning bed. Our heroine does so with some trepadition, but he's promised to help her with her problem and in her 5" heels she's half a foot taller then he is, so it's all good. He pushes a button, there's a buzz and a flash nothing like you'd get from a Sybian or a tanning bed, And...
Voila, a perfect clone of Nikki (not aka nikki) climbs out of the phone booth, naked. Yes guys, naked. Without missing a beat Nikki II sets to work writing an aritcle on tax shelters for cam performers in the recessional economy while shooting candid photos to keep the mad geekicist voting on the board.
Our heroine is thrilled, but her hero admits he is 'worried.' When she asks why, he explains Nikki II seems to be an exact opposite... He points to the leopard tattoo with inverted spots facing the wrong way. Ever the optomist, Nikki is unfazed, thanking our geek with a hug and a wink.
Soon enough, though the horrible truth is apprent. Nikki II is the antithesis of our heroine. She is mean, dour, demanding, arrogant, and greedy. She insults friends and ignored strangers. Nikki tries to put up wit it... Nikki II is getting lots of work done. But soon the complaints start to come back from her publishers, men in too tight suits in too small cubicles, they do not lie the tone of her 'new work.'
And reading the article that was supposed to discuss the death of network television in an internet world, Nikki is aghast at the unending string of sexually explicit anecdotes that fill an article intended for Reader's Digest!
Grabbing Nikki II, she heads to the nearest mountain in her desert state. Finally reaching the great salt dune in Colorado (like i said, home is a desert...keep reading, you've stayed this long) she insists Nikki II will 'love the view' and when her opposite leans out just far enough, our heroine applies a gently shove... no polling necessary... & the horrid copy plumets to her gruesome death.
Relieved, our heroine jumps into her car and hurries back to see what has become of her thread on bad joke Friday. Before she can log on, though, there is a knock on her door. She answers to find the interstate branch of TSA on her Zepplin doormat. They push into the room, insisting she strip for a 'millimeter wave scan' before agreeing among themselves they have 'found their woman.' Clapping her into some of Miss Hybrid's padded cuffs, they assure our heroine she'll wish she'd never violated a Homeland Security statute.
Puzzled, Nikki asks 'what statue?' TSA agent marble mouth repeats, 'Statute.'
'Oh,' Nikki blushes prettily, 'but what statute.'
'We thought that would be obvious,' the 2nd over important inspector huffs...
Anyone?
c'mon, you've heard this!
She was guilty of making an obscene clone fall.
Sorry... was that bad enough? heh heh heh.
As to TV, I leave one on all the time, but rarely pay attention... it's white noise.
And hockey, love watching it live as the pros... locally it's 'semi-pro' which is the difference between boys n men. and I'll try not to be offended about the baseball crack... i can't argue as far as watching goes, but love the strategy & team interactions actually PLAYING... or coaching as the sands move through the hourglass.
Nikki, glad to see you made it through in 2 categories. Totally understand real work & obligations will keep ya from the board, but never fear. the votes are yours. & love the new thread.
Pax all,
RA
