Nikki Nova

[bobjustbob]

Re: the Official Nikki Nova thread

Hey Nicky. You have read my posts and know how I am. I read your posts and was pleased to find your thread here. Lots of people may think that I am a douche bag but I don't care. We are all here to have fun and you've got to round 3. For good reasons. I'll stay here to be with you.

As far as my first post goes you have got to say that it was funny.

BobLovesNikki

 

[Antoniof7772]

Re: the Official Nikki Nova thread

a guy looks at his girlfriend pussy and asks...uuuh...hun...are you sure you are still a virgin?
yeah..i am..
uuuh,,,its just that your pussy looks as large as a 8 lane highway..
-What???? Get you right hand inside my pussy!
the boyfriend did so.
Now get your left hand inside my pussy too withou taking out the right one.
The boyfriend does so.
Now try to clap!!
I can´t!!,its too tight for that...
You see?? i told ya i was had a really tight vurgin pussy!!!

 

[crazy_cock]

Re: the Official Nikki Nova thread

niki nova one of the best babes ...........magnifique

 

[georges]

Re: the Official Nikki Nova thread

bonjourno la bellissima nova

Your last pics are awesome :thumbsup: I remembered of scans I used to have on my old hdds, did you made photoshoots for motorcycle/car magazines?

big hugs :kiss: and have a great day nikki

 

[NikkiNova]

Re: the Official Nikki Nova thread

har har har to both of you. bad ones but ya got a smirk outta me. haha
xoxo
Nikki Nova
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Okay, I will tempt fate by posting my second bad joke.
Three little old ladies are sitting on a park bench, when a guy comes by and flashes them.
The first old lady had a stroke.
The second old lady had a stroke.
The third old lady tried to have a stoke, but could not reach it.

Kids: Mummy, Mummy, can we play with Grandma.

Mother: No, you've dug her up 3 times already this week.

 

[NikkiNova]

Re: the Official Nikki Nova thread

actually i will quote a great old punk band here to give you the proper answer

"It's better to regret something ya HAVE done then to regret something you haven't done"

xoxo
Nikki Nova
PLZ Vote Nikki Nova!! http://www.missfreeones.com/bio.html?contestant=81
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hello Nikki Nova.Mr vampire is here and has a question.
are you more : Better regret for what i did,than to regret for what left undone
or..........carefull,think twice and and dont cross the line when its slippery and wet?

 

[NikkiNova]

Re: the Official Nikki Nova thread

Ok these are just fantastic! I don't know what that says about me but honestly the more politically incorrect and wrong the jokes are the funnier they are to me.

xoxo
Nikki Nova
PLZ Vote Nikki Nova!! http://www.missfreeones.com/bio.html?contestant=81
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and here goes to politically incorrect jokes.i am neither racist or anti semit,on the contrary,so remeber this is only a joke:


Do you know what the Nazis use to call to the diabetic jews they cremated on concentration camps??
CARAMEL!!!

A little white baby dies and goes to heaven.
God gives him wings...that makes him a??
An angel!
a little black baby dies,goes to heaven
God gives him wings...that makes him a...?
A BAT!!!

a few more jokes:

an angel asks God,why he doesn´t return to earth to make things right?
God answers:
"Are you kindding?!Over 2 thousand years ago i went donw there got a stone worker wife´s pregnant and after 2 thousand years ,they still talk about it!"
neither to say,i am catholic,so like i said on my previous post this are only jokes.

2 misogenic jokes:
What´s the difference between a "lego" (construction toys for kids) and a woman?
..........don´t know???
well,than just keep on playing with "legos"!!

what is a woman??
A woman is what is around the pussy

on the other hand:
d'yall know the more and more less women want to get married??
cause for a few grams of sausage they have to take home the whole pork!

the monkey:
a guy gets in a bar with a monkey on his shoulder.seats down has a drink,and the monkey wonders through the bar eating peanutts and olives.
The bartender says to the monkey owner:
hey mister,your monkey is eating everything.
aah...don´t worry.i´ll pay,let him eat!
so the monkey jumps from table to table eating everything ,till he gets to the pool table and swallows a pool ball!
in the end the monkey owner pays for everything.
A week later they come back...and there goes the monkey again..the bartender isn´t worried cause he knows the monkey owner pays everything,untill he sees the monkey taking an olive to his own ass and eat it afterwards.
he laughs and says to the monkey owner.hey your monkey just took an olive to his ass and then ate it.
-oh yeah,ever since he swallowed that pool ball,now he measures everything before eating it!

disgusting joke:
Do you know whats the difference between a hooker a wife and a girlfrined if you cum in their mouth?
the hooker spits
the wife swallows
the girlfrinds asks.:"ghwat ghe ghuck gham i guppose to ghdo wigth ghis???!

a spanish man is in a portuguese hotel,chewing gum,enjoying the sunanswers?,and in the table beside him a portuguese man eats a toast with jelly...and the spanish curious asks:
que es esso?? what is that you are eating??
the portuguese answers..this is a crunchy-bread
- crunchy-bread??..oh yes in spain we gather the bread with fungus and over 2 weeks and send it to portugal as crunchy-bread...
the portuguese has a smile briefly,ignores the provocation.
The spanish smiles widely as he keeps on chewing his gum!
than he ask again..escuse me...and what is that you are putting in the crunchy-bread??
-its jelly!
-jelly???? well in spain the rotten fruit we smash it and send it to Portugal as jelly!
And widens his smile even more as he keeps on chewing his gum.
the portuguese faces him seriously as and asks him,hey what do you in Spain to a used condom after having sex??
a used condom asks the spanish surprised while he keeps on chewing his gum-well...nada..nothing,pues we thow it away to the garbege.
well.answers the portuguese.we dont,here in portugal we gather the used condoms filled with cum and send it to spain as chewing gums!

do you know what gays call to suppositories??

candieeeeeeeeeeees!!!!!

bin laden dies and goes to hell where he is received by the devil ,lucifer himself and lucifer tells him,well,,bin-laden..can i call you binnie?
-sure.
well binnie,we have a problem..clearly you can not go to heaven,but you were so evil i dont know what punish i should give you to eternity..hummm...well lets see:
they pass in a room where george w.bush is swiming in a pool,but the more he swims the more the shore gets far away.
Bin-laden says..oh nooo..please..i can not swim ,please...
oh well,says lucifer..lets see..
in the next room tony blair is braking stone with a hug hameer,but the more he hits the rock the bigger the mountain gets..
bin laden begs in agony...oh nooo.pleaaase..my arms are very week...no pleease...even as a baby i had week arms...
ok..says lucifer
in the last room bill clinton is laying on a bed while monica lewinski is doing him a blow job.
uuuuuuuuh yesss...yes...says bin lade..i could do with that punishment..yes yes yes.
humm..says lucifer..well..so be it...Miss lewinski,go back to the purgatory,Binnie here will take your place!

The most disgusting joke in the world.
A guy walks and sees a brown puddle in the sidewalk right in front of him.
approaches it .looks at it and says..."it looks like shit"
Kneels down,get some of that brown stuf in his fingers...and says..feels like shit.
Smells it and says...it smells like shit.
takes it to his tongue..and sys..even tastes like shit.
Hell it..is shit...than God i did not step on it!

Blondes.
blondes all around the world gather and decide to show the world they are not stupid,so the make a manif in the streets...with flags and and sticks,blondes around the world fill 5th avenue screaming all in one voice.
"Blondes are not stupid,blondes are not stupid!
bLONDES ,bLONDES,GOOOO BLONDES!!
B-L-O-....B-L-O-....uuhh...B-L-O..uuhh..
BLONDES ARE NOT STUPID!!!

If you think these jokes are bad,believe me,i have worse...ehhehehe

 

[NikkiNova]

Re: the Official Nikki Nova thread

I feel really stupid but what are hdd's? hahaha.
Yes I did however do some shoots for Easyrider and some other car n hot rod mags. I can't remember. Oh yes.. V-twin? and some others I don't remember.
xoxo
Nikki Nova
PLZ Vote Nikki Nova!! http://www.missfreeones.com/bio.html?contestant=81
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Follow me on twitter http://twitter.com/nikki_nova
my site www.nikkinova.com
my blog http://clubnikkinova.com/blog/

bonjourno la bellissima nova

Your last pics are awesome :thumbsup: I remembered of scans I used to have on my old hdds, did you made photoshoots for motorcycle/car magazines?

big hugs :kiss: and have a great day nikki

 

[NikkiNova]

Re: the Official Nikki Nova thread

Well if it makes any difference at all I would much rather be with a geek then an athlete any day.
I don't know how open I am to a Nikki clone though. I like the idea of having someone to do a lot of the work but oh the problems that could cause. case in point...that silly 80's movie "Multiplicity"
hahaha
xoxo
Nikki Nova
PLZ Vote Nikki Nova!! http://www.missfreeones.com/bio.html?contestant=81
miss free ones and best oscm
Follow me on twitter http://twitter.com/nikki_nova
my site www.nikkinova.com
my blog http://clubnikkinova.com/blog/

BJB, i'm still a geek!
i'd volunteer to be the geek in said story... seeing Nikki Nova in the flesh... making a Nikki Nova clone (even an obscene one)... mmmmm...
Geeks rule the world... all the money MJ made winning those rings is chump change to Bill Gates... now i just have to figure out what the next Microsoft will be.

pax
RA

 

[Korto999]

Re: the Official Nikki Nova thread

The joke i liked 10 years ago.... apologies to everyone offended
a few serbian soldiers are running away, and an army of croat soldiers are chasing them. The serbs entered the village and they decided to hide in well in the middle of the city.
The croats reached the well and stopped to check out if somebody is in it. they decide to yell in the well and if they hear the echo then it must be empty. So they begin:
CRO: (where are the serbs?) Maybe they are in the forest?
SER: (from the well) MAYBE THEY ARE IN THE FOREST!!?
CRO: (again) Maybe they are in village?
SER: (again from the well) MAYBE THEY ARE IN VILLAGE?!!
CRO: Maybe they are in the well?
SER: MAYBE THEY ARE IN THE WELL?!!!
CRO: Maybe i should throw a bomb in the well?
SER: MAYBE THEY ARE IN THE FOREST?!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[larss]

Re: the Official Nikki Nova thread

I feel really stupid but what are hdd's? hahaha.

hdd = Hard Disk Drive

 

[jitna]

Re: the Official Nikki Nova thread

Well if it makes any difference at all I would much rather be with a geek then an athlete any day.
I don't know how open I am to a Nikki clone though. I like the idea of having someone to do a lot of the work but oh the problems that could cause. case in point...that silly 80's movie "Multiplicity"
hahaha
xoxo
Nikki Nova
PLZ Vote Nikki Nova!! http://www.missfreeones.com/bio.html?contestant=81
miss free ones and best oscm
Follow me on twitter http://twitter.com/nikki_nova
my site www.nikkinova.com
my blog http://clubnikkinova.com/blog/

youre worried your clone might rent the movie? if she does you know you dont have to watch it with her, right?

 

[Jon S.]

Re: the Official Nikki Nova thread

Kinda had a busy day today, so I'm a little late posting my bad jokes. Coincidentally, this is also my 100th post!

It was nice to see the "revival" of Bad Joke Friday! I was sad when they fired the guy (for being too old/attracting old listeners no less) that used to do this on the radio when I lived in Pennsylvania. I think I really missed the GREAT prize packs that he always gave away every Friday. His name was Ralph Lockwood, and every year he took a trip to Montreal with his listeners. I never went, though I did go with a group from college every year (Toronto once too). I could never figure out why a radio personality from York, PA (the same York that gave us York Peppermint Patties, and briefly served as the nation's capital while the British has us on the run....ha ha ha) was going to Montreal every year. After he was fired (radio is really a ruthless business), I found out why. Little did I know (in the brief time I listened to him every Friday anyway), he was originally from PA, but went to Montreal in the late 60's, and was a LEGENDARY DJ in Montreal radio (English speaking station) from the late 60's to the early-mid 80's (briefly had a tv show in the 80's too). His nickname was "the birdman" & his catch phrase was the double entendre "How's Your Bird?" He ended up leaving Montreal and returning to York in the late 80's. Of course, like so many others, he was kicked to the curb and basically retired after he was fired from the station in York.

But.....Bad Joke Friday lives on!!!

Now keep in mind, the 1st two jokes I'm posted are original jokes that I came up with sometime between 8-10th grades. I always thought they were cute/funny....but this one kid used to almost die laughing when I told them.....never did understand that.....ha ha ha!
I will follow that up with some of the jokes that I actually used on the radio and won prizes with on Bad Joke Friday. All of the jokes are original.

On to the jokes.....

Q: What do you get when you combine a penis and a potato?

A: A Dictator (get it.....Dick Tater)

Q: What do you call a pickled female deer?

A: A Dildo (Get it Dill Doe)



Now a couple of the tamer ones that actually got on the air:

This one I called in around Halloween one year (I tried to come up with timely bad jokes):

Q: What do dieting vampires like to drink?

A: Blood Light (Get it.....not Bud Light....Blood Light)



People who have followed baseball will get this one (the radio station used to carry Baltimore Orioles games.....before they really SUCKED and the station dropped them after I left the area......but I'm a Pirates fan....so what are you going to do....and watching/listening to baseball is only SLIGHTLY more interesting than watching paint dry....ha ha ha!

Q: What baseball player do all heifers fawn over?

A: Cow Ripken, Jr. (Get it....Cal Ripken, Jr.)


That is just a sampling of my bad jokes. I see the bar has been set pretty high. I'm going to have to work on some new material for next weeks Bad Joke Friday. I originally thought I would end up just posting my old jokes, and that would be it! It was nice to see the idea was actually fairly popular (as things on the FreeOnes boards go anyway)! I've really been better at improv in recent years, but I'm sure I can come up with some new material for next week! Might even post something else tonight if an idea pops into my head. For me being funny is something that just happens, and can be a little tougher when you try....ha ha ha!

Hell here's another one:

Now I think several thousand people "came up" with this one (I was but one of many):

Q: What was Michael Jackson's favorite Chinese food?

A: Cum of Sum Yung Gai (Get it.....Cum of Some Young Guy)



Here is a REALLY dated one that may require Google (history geeks will have no problem) for some to get it (again, I think thousands "came up" with it....me included):


Q: How did they know Christa McAuliffe had dandruff?

A: Her head and shoulders washed up on shore. (Get it....Head & Shoulders)



Well that's all for now!

Great job everyone!

I guess those boos and hisses are my cue.....and I am outta here!!!

 

[Jon S.]

Re: the Official Nikki Nova thread

Wow....hit 100 posts, and get "Rep Power!" Who knew??? I'm no longer at 0!....YEA ME!....ha ha ha!

 

[Jon S.]

Re: the Official Nikki Nova thread

And Now For Your Official Nikki Nova Thread "Duh" Story of the Day:

"U.S. officials say they have no specific and credible information about planned terror attacks on the United States, but they have issued an intelligence bulletin to state and local law enforcement warning terrorists could target large crowds at holiday gatherings.

The Department of Homeland Security and FBI issued an intelligence bulletin Wednesday to encourage law enforcement agencies to be watchful."

DUHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Are they that desperate to "stay in business?" Who would have thunk that "they" might target Christmas time? I'm glad they are alerting state and local law enforcement! God knows NO ONE could have figured that a possibility on their own! I guess that's why they make the big bucks.....ha ha ha!


Guess fearing the boogieman is still big business!

 

[Jon S.]

Re: the Official Nikki Nova thread

Here's one last joke.....only for Jitna:

The Philadelphia Flyers are going to win the Stanley Cup this year!


Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!! Sorry, that was REALLY bad.....but I couldn't help myself

 

[jitna]

Re: the Official Nikki Nova thread

Here's one last joke.....only for Jitna:

The Philadelphia Flyers are going to win the Stanley Cup this year!


Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!! Sorry, that was REALLY bad.....but I couldn't help myself

what has 44 points and is second place? The Pittsburgh Penguins

here's a better joke. the Pittsburgh Pirates

 

[RodgerBama]

Re: the Official Nikki Nova thread

Here are two quick ones for this Friday

Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked.
'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.
'What's the matter, asked Larry 'Giving up?'


I had a bunch of American dollars I needed to exchange so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank .
I chose the shortest line...just one guy in front of me.
He was an Asian guy who was trying
to exchange Yen for dollars and he was a little agitated. He asked the teller, "Why IT change? Yestoday I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty?"
The teller says, "Fluctuations."
The Asian guy says, "Fluc you white guys too!"

 

[Jon S.]

Re: the Official Nikki Nova thread

here's a better joke. the Pittsburgh Pirates

No, that's really A BAD JOKE......but I remain loyal to a fault (though the Pirates logo is conspicuously missing from my avatar) ....ha ha ha!

Hell, I was at the last home playoff game for the Pirates at old Three Rivers Stadium. Bob Walk pitched, and I was too young to buy a beer! Held off buying World Series tickets until they made it in '92......which never happened....and the rest is, as they say, history! ha ha ha Fucken Francisco Cabrera......Fucken Sid Bream too!!! ha ha ha


I swear I am the only guy in the deep south that wears a Pirates hat, not because he is trying to look "gangsta," but because he really is a fan.....ha ha ha!

Still wouldn't be surprised to see the Pens and Flyers in the Eastern Conference Finals!


Another Bad Joke would be Brent Johnson & the Pens defense in the 2nd half of the 3rd period against the Rangers the other night.....ha ha ha!

 

[bkrcp]

Re: the Official Nikki Nova thread

Hey Nikki you are the fucking hottest... All the pics of you and Jelena Jensen are sexy as hell. Are you ever going to make some dreams come true and do some girl/girl hardcore with her? I know she took the plunge into to it I was hoping you plan on it too.