Don't think this hasn't crossed my mind at least a few times.
My moral dilemma
- Thread starter gunslingingbird
- Start date
Don't think this hasn't crossed my mind at least a few times.
It sounds like she feels as if she's using you and doesn't want to. She's probably not, but when you show a woman you care it can often be misinterpreted as an offer to "use."
I've actually seen a very similar situation on the show Rescue Me (Yes, I know it's a show, but women have been proven more likely to act upon actions viewed on tv). There was a guy, Lou, who hired an escort to make his ex-wife jealous. They just went out to dinner but when she asked why he wasn't paying attention to her, he told her and they clicked. She also had financial problems and didn't want his help. He kept trying and he finally convinced her when she told him the situation was getting more serious and she had to pay the money soon. He gave her the money, she disappeared.
I'm not saying that's gonna happen and I hope it doesn't but you gotta be careful. Best of luck bro!
I've actually seen a very similar situation on the show Rescue Me (Yes, I know it's a show, but women have been proven more likely to act upon actions viewed on tv). There was a guy, Lou, who hired an escort to make his ex-wife jealous. They just went out to dinner but when she asked why he wasn't paying attention to her, he told her and they clicked. She also had financial problems and didn't want his help. He kept trying and he finally convinced her when she told him the situation was getting more serious and she had to pay the money soon. He gave her the money, she disappeared.
I'm not saying that's gonna happen and I hope it doesn't but you gotta be careful. Best of luck bro!
bobjustbob
Proud member of FreeOnes Hall Of Fame. Retired to
Being into this for a few months was a day by day, step by step process. Do today what you did every day till this point. Ask yourself,"Am I emotionally equipped to take this on?" Don't worry about tomorrow will bring. That will get your head all fucked up. If things start turning up for the better than great and your mind will begin to ease. If it doesn't and it gets to the point where you just can't emotionally handle it, that's okay. It just wasn't meant to be. You may not be the one to provide the solution for this situation.
I am a believer in that everything happens for a reason. However things may go, you will both have given each other something to carry down the road. Even when I get myself into stupid situations (and I'm not saying that this is) I learn something and thankful for it.
I am a believer in that everything happens for a reason. However things may go, you will both have given each other something to carry down the road. Even when I get myself into stupid situations (and I'm not saying that this is) I learn something and thankful for it.
TheOrangeCat
AFK..being taken to the vet to get neutered.
80 voice and text messages in 8 hours!!!??? 10 an hour, one every 6 minutes .... dude, whatever the circumstances, whatever the dynamic that is waaaaay over the top; to the point of being desperate/stalker-ish/bunny-boiling ...
You need to take a GIANT step backwards, take some very deep breaths, and chill. Either she is genuinely into you, in which case none of the context, history, other relationships (platonic or otherwise) matter because they will naturally be subsumed and trumped by a genuine relationship. Or you are being led along a very rocky, narrow and dangerous path on a journey whose end is already pre-determined and, cannot be good for you.
My 10c - and this is based just on what and how you posted this message: you are being subtly and skillfully emotionally manipulated. To what end, I cannot say, but it seems clear that as of today, she has all the power in your emotional dynamic. And that is a death sentence to any relationship, anywhere, with anyone, any time, all the time .....
I wish you the best, but I fear unless you make some space for yourself to think without expectation, the rocks are speedily approaching and they are jagged, merciless and unmovable.
daitro
I must possess all, or I possess nothing.
This, this and more this. Very sage advice.
Rey C.
Racing is life... anything else is just waiting.
I also wish you the best, 'Bird. But go with TOC on this one. You're being taken to a bad place.
I was going to say go for it, and work towards her getting out of what she is doing. Having reading your last post though I would maybe be a little leery.
Only just noticed this thread, If you're serious about her and her about you then I don't see any reason why you can't help her out financially without worrying about being a sugar daddy, unless you're concerned about her 'real' feelings for you. In terms of her health she could be pregnant (sorry to say but don't assume you're the father) or she could be sick from an STD, she may prefer to use protection but if a customer offered her extra money to go without a condom she may take it considering her dire financial situation. I'd be wary if I was you but if you fully trust her I think you should do whatever it takes to get her out of that profession if it's really what you both want, I don't see your relationship developing any further until that happens.
It wasn't exactly that many messages, I just pulled a random number out of my ass at the time. It was actually more like 8 or 9 voice mails, and 15 text messages. But, yes, I've thought about it, and I realize that I probably did seem rather creepy and stalkerish.
Your story reminded an episode of the shield where Vic Mc Key tried to get a mother of a child who was a prostitute out of the ring and he had feelings for her. Feelings are personal and emotionally strong, if you think you are attached strongly to her, then I think that you must show her your real feelings especially if you care for her. Just be guenine, also weight carefully the pros and the cons of what involves to have a common life over the long run with her.Good luck whatever you do.
Sam Fisher
Banned
Sorry to hear you're going through this right now.
However.... cash in your chips. The game's over.
However.... cash in your chips. The game's over.
PlasmaTwa2
The Second-Hottest Man in my Mother's Basement
Do it. I'm not sure about the rules but I think this thread means she can be an OCSM.
That is true, we all might just be friends
What, and admit to her that I spend my time hanging out with a bunch of perverts and degenerates online? :angels:
PlasmaTwa2
The Second-Hottest Man in my Mother's Basement
Perverts, degenerates, AND Spexy.
Here's an update. Not because any of you give a rat's ass, but because I need a place to vent. She quit escorting a little over 3 weeks ago. She started her apprenticeship with the union, and moved back in with her parents to help her get a new start. In that regard, she's doing great.
We had a bit of a rocky month, so to speak. After my last update we cleared things up, and we started hanging out again, though not as frequently as before. She also became more distant toward me, whereas before she would give me a kiss here and there, she would hold my hand when we were walking, or she would snuggle with me when we sat together, now she would limit herself to giving me a hug when she sae me and when we said goodbye. In terms of our relationship, though, she seemed to grow more sincere. She did get annoyed at thee fact that I always worried about her, but, like I told her it wasn't out of malice, but because I really cared about her.
I thought of some of the advice I got on this thread, and I decided to open up to her. I told her that I love her, and how much she means to me. I mentioned that I was confused about her change in attitude toward me, and I told her that she had become the most important person in my life. I said that I understood that we were technically just friends, but that I had grown to see her as much more than just a friend, and that I wanted her to be a much greater part of my life than just a friend. She said she had to think about what I told her, and she would get back to me.
About a week later, last Monday night, the night before she had agreed to go with me to my monthly Masonic Stated Meeting and dinner, I got the following text message from her:
I told her that I would rather have that than nothing at all, but that I would still love her, and would always be there for her.
This afternoon we went to dinner, and she acted fairly nonchalantly, as if we hadn't had the conversation we had less than 48 hours earlier. I asked her if she wanted to go to a Sharks game tonight (because she loves hockey), but her response was that she was meeting someone afterwards. She had mentioned going to see her cousin after we parted ways, so I asked her if that was it. She replied that she was gonna see her cousin, and then she was meeting someone else.
When I picked her up she was finishing a phone conversation with what sounded like a guy, and she said that she was gonna have dinner with a friend, and that she would let the other person know when she was on her way. I felt kind of devastated when she told me that she was meeting someone else.
I asked her to tell me what she was thinking, because she seemed more distant, though she seemed more interested in how things are going for me. She very matter-of-factly said that she had told me what she thought, and that as long as I was ok with it and didn't keep bringing it up she was fine with being friends, but that she just wouldn't have any feelings for me. I asked her if I had fucked up by sharing my feelings with her, but she said that everything was just fine. The whole time we talked about this I was driving, but she never even looked up from her game of Bejeweled that she was playing on her phone.
Now I'm quite torn about what to do next. I don't know if I should just resign myself to the fact that we're going to be friends only from now on, or if I should persist, or what. I have grown to love her more than I have anyone in a long time, and I don't wanna let her go just like that, but at the same time I don't wanna be persistent and eventually drive her away.
We had a bit of a rocky month, so to speak. After my last update we cleared things up, and we started hanging out again, though not as frequently as before. She also became more distant toward me, whereas before she would give me a kiss here and there, she would hold my hand when we were walking, or she would snuggle with me when we sat together, now she would limit herself to giving me a hug when she sae me and when we said goodbye. In terms of our relationship, though, she seemed to grow more sincere. She did get annoyed at thee fact that I always worried about her, but, like I told her it wasn't out of malice, but because I really cared about her.
I thought of some of the advice I got on this thread, and I decided to open up to her. I told her that I love her, and how much she means to me. I mentioned that I was confused about her change in attitude toward me, and I told her that she had become the most important person in my life. I said that I understood that we were technically just friends, but that I had grown to see her as much more than just a friend, and that I wanted her to be a much greater part of my life than just a friend. She said she had to think about what I told her, and she would get back to me.
About a week later, last Monday night, the night before she had agreed to go with me to my monthly Masonic Stated Meeting and dinner, I got the following text message from her:
I told her that I would rather have that than nothing at all, but that I would still love her, and would always be there for her.
This afternoon we went to dinner, and she acted fairly nonchalantly, as if we hadn't had the conversation we had less than 48 hours earlier. I asked her if she wanted to go to a Sharks game tonight (because she loves hockey), but her response was that she was meeting someone afterwards. She had mentioned going to see her cousin after we parted ways, so I asked her if that was it. She replied that she was gonna see her cousin, and then she was meeting someone else.
When I picked her up she was finishing a phone conversation with what sounded like a guy, and she said that she was gonna have dinner with a friend, and that she would let the other person know when she was on her way. I felt kind of devastated when she told me that she was meeting someone else.
I asked her to tell me what she was thinking, because she seemed more distant, though she seemed more interested in how things are going for me. She very matter-of-factly said that she had told me what she thought, and that as long as I was ok with it and didn't keep bringing it up she was fine with being friends, but that she just wouldn't have any feelings for me. I asked her if I had fucked up by sharing my feelings with her, but she said that everything was just fine. The whole time we talked about this I was driving, but she never even looked up from her game of Bejeweled that she was playing on her phone.
Now I'm quite torn about what to do next. I don't know if I should just resign myself to the fact that we're going to be friends only from now on, or if I should persist, or what. I have grown to love her more than I have anyone in a long time, and I don't wanna let her go just like that, but at the same time I don't wanna be persistent and eventually drive her away.
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PlasmaTwa2
The Second-Hottest Man in my Mother's Basement
Women suck.
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