more nice theology
A great human being? Fuck, Isobel, you're going STRAIGHT to the sixth circle of Hell!
A great human being? Fuck, Isobel, you're going STRAIGHT to the sixth circle of Hell!
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My girlfriend broke up with me because I was...too nice???
- Thread starter horny nikka
- Start date
Shyness is passive aggressive?
OK, I see I actually had 2 earlier posts (#73 and #93), not counting the one I'm quoting from here. Guess it's time to drop the subject.
I still think you're a Pelagian heretic, though, Isobel, damned for all eternity unless you repent.
OK, I see I actually had 2 earlier posts (#73 and #93), not counting the one I'm quoting from here. Guess it's time to drop the subject.
I still think you're a Pelagian heretic, though, Isobel, damned for all eternity unless you repent.
Re: Nice Theology
Have you recanted yet, Heretic?
I will recant the following:
because after rereading the thread, I realize that you were reacting not specifically to her desire to be mistreated but more generally to her erratic behavior that suggested bipolar disorder (about which you are a better judge than I).
But here I have a paradox for you. These evil "Nice Guys" are said to have the following characteristics (among others):
So you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. You're condemned to eternal Nice-Guy-ness just because you have a strong preference for not making decisions, through no fault of your own. After all, you can't be held responsible for your own preferences, because you never had a chance to decide them. You can't make a deliberate decision not to like the taste of chocolate. Nor can you make a deliberate decision to like making decisions.
(I feel I may need to be more explicit about what I mean by "hate to make decisions." Obviously if the results of the decision are sufficiently important to you, and you believe that you are capable of making a good decision, then you will choose to make a decision, because the benefit of getting the right results outweighs the psychic cost of making the decision. But in many cases, the results are not very important, and not predictable enough to make it possible to make a "good" decision rather than just a "random" one. In that case, if you hate making decisions, you would choose, all other things equal, not to make a decision. That might mean letting someone else decide, or it might mean accepting some default decision.)
I don't think I'm just being sophistic and playing logical games here. I think there really are guys who manipulate women by pretending to be the kind of guys that you think are truly nice (for example, by pretending they enjoy having input into decisions they actually don't care about and would rather not be involved in). The only difference between these "nice guys" and the evil "Nice Guys" that you talk about is that these "nice guys" are better at manipulating women. They're really not any nicer, and don't have any more integrity, than the evil "Nice Guys." But they don't get bitter and angry and resentful, because they're successful.
In fact, after a jaunt through Wikipedia inspired by beany_man's post at the bottom of the last page, I realized that there is a whole industry devoted to teaching men how to successfully manipulate women. I imagine that there are a great many men who don't need the courses because they have a natural talent for manipulating women. I imagine that the women these guys manipulate believe that they are truly nice guys.
So is the conclusion that it's OK to manipulate women as long as you're good at it?
And if not, then how many men are really left in the category of "truly nice guys"? once you take out
I doubt there are many left. If you've got one of them, you're pretty damn lucky.
Have you recanted yet, Heretic?
I will recant the following:
because after rereading the thread, I realize that you were reacting not specifically to her desire to be mistreated but more generally to her erratic behavior that suggested bipolar disorder (about which you are a better judge than I).
But here I have a paradox for you. These evil "Nice Guys" are said to have the following characteristics (among others):
- They are unwilling to make decisions (or to contribute to a joint decision)
- They subvert their own needs/interests/preferences to those of another for purposes of ingratiation and manipulation (usually unsuccessful)
So you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. You're condemned to eternal Nice-Guy-ness just because you have a strong preference for not making decisions, through no fault of your own. After all, you can't be held responsible for your own preferences, because you never had a chance to decide them. You can't make a deliberate decision not to like the taste of chocolate. Nor can you make a deliberate decision to like making decisions.
(I feel I may need to be more explicit about what I mean by "hate to make decisions." Obviously if the results of the decision are sufficiently important to you, and you believe that you are capable of making a good decision, then you will choose to make a decision, because the benefit of getting the right results outweighs the psychic cost of making the decision. But in many cases, the results are not very important, and not predictable enough to make it possible to make a "good" decision rather than just a "random" one. In that case, if you hate making decisions, you would choose, all other things equal, not to make a decision. That might mean letting someone else decide, or it might mean accepting some default decision.)
I don't think I'm just being sophistic and playing logical games here. I think there really are guys who manipulate women by pretending to be the kind of guys that you think are truly nice (for example, by pretending they enjoy having input into decisions they actually don't care about and would rather not be involved in). The only difference between these "nice guys" and the evil "Nice Guys" that you talk about is that these "nice guys" are better at manipulating women. They're really not any nicer, and don't have any more integrity, than the evil "Nice Guys." But they don't get bitter and angry and resentful, because they're successful.
In fact, after a jaunt through Wikipedia inspired by beany_man's post at the bottom of the last page, I realized that there is a whole industry devoted to teaching men how to successfully manipulate women. I imagine that there are a great many men who don't need the courses because they have a natural talent for manipulating women. I imagine that the women these guys manipulate believe that they are truly nice guys.
So is the conclusion that it's OK to manipulate women as long as you're good at it?
And if not, then how many men are really left in the category of "truly nice guys"? once you take out
- guys who know they're not nice
- "Nice Guys" who think they're nice but aren't
- guys who can make girls think they're nice but really aren't
I doubt there are many left. If you've got one of them, you're pretty damn lucky.
ChefChiTown
The secret ingredient? MY BALLS
Green Day made a song about this: Nice Guys Finish Last
It's a decent song, but more importantly, it's not lying.
Nice guys who get laid are different than nice guys who don't ...
Nice guys who get laid are different than nice guys who don't.
Hmmm, maybe that would be a good song title?
I like Green Day. But even so, many of their lyrics stereotype people without pointing out that many people are different.
Nice guys who get laid are different than nice guys who don't.
Hmmm, maybe that would be a good song title?
Straight up chicks (not all but alot) digg the guy who they think they can change and thats why they go back to them.
Case in point rihanna and chris brown...from what i've heared there back together after chris beat the crap out of her. Things i will never understand in this world. :dunno:
Case in point rihanna and chris brown...from what i've heared there back together after chris beat the crap out of her. Things i will never understand in this world. :dunno:
i know this girl whose husband threw her out of a window and put her in the hospital with broken bones and still she never divorced him
What a scam this dude's got going.
He gets paid to teach guys how to pretend to be something they're not so they can attract women who tend to be masochistic :1orglaugh
i know this girl whose husband threw her out of a window and put her in the hospital with broken bones and still she never divorced him
fuck that is unreall.
I have to agree with this since I've seen it in my own life. This is especially true when some of these women have had a kid or two from that 'Bad-boy A-hole' and are now in need of a stable, mature guy, who isn't trying to play them with some faux wannabe rockstar lifestyle. All of a sudden, that "Nice guy" becomes a prize. But I'm not interested in being some "Instant-Dad" for their little bastards and their failed relationship....so I give them a smile and wish them well:wave2:
What a waste!
