Movie Quotes

[maildude]

This is a long one, but fucking hilarious. Picture a group of middle-aged guys sitting around playing poker:


Oscar Madison: I'm in for a quarter.
Murray: Aren't you going to look at your cards first?
Oscar Madison: What for? I'm gonna bluff anyway. Who gets a Pepsi?
Murray: I get a Pepsi.
Oscar Madison: My friend Murray the policeman gets a warm Pepsi.
Roy: You still didn't fix the refrigerator. It's been two weeks now - no wonder it stinks in here.
Oscar Madison: Temper, temper. If I wanted nagging, I'd go back with my wife. I'm out. Who wants food?
Murray: What do you got?
Oscar Madison: I got, uh, brown sandwiches and, uh, green sandwiches. Which one do you want?
Murray: What's the green?
Oscar Madison: It's either very new cheese or very old meat.
Murray: I'll take the brown.
[Oscar hands Murray a sandwich which Murray starts wolfing down]
Roy: Are you crazy? You're not going to eat that, are you?
Murray: I'm hungry!
Roy: His refrigerator has been out of order for two weeks now. I saw milk standing in there that wasn't even in the bottle!
Oscar Madison: What are you, some kind of health nut? Eat, Murray, eat!

--The Odd Couple

 

[Violator79]

Johann Krauss- "Dr. Manning, suck my ectoplasmic schwanzstucker!"

- Hellboy 2

 

[minidog]

Spock: "Jim, you are my commanding officer, you are also my friend. I have been and always shall be yours." - Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan

-cs™

Live long and prosper

 

[BlueBalls]

"We ain't outta here in ten minutes, we won't need no rocket to fly through space" - (*****)

 

[maildude]

And a classic:

Nigel Tufnel: [Demonstrating his amplifier]The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...
Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven.

--This Is Spinal Tap

 

[Violator79]

Gen. Patton- "Thirty years from now when you're sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee, and he asks you, 'What did you do in the great World War II?' -- you won't have to say, "Well, I shoveled **** in Louisiana."

- Patton

 

[BlueBalls]

"I know, Jerry, that you are as human as the rest of us, if not more so" - Rupert Pupkin

- The King of Comedy.

 

[Apex]

I cant help noticing that when people run to freedom they tend to wash up on North American shores.

 

[historylover]

------
Quote: "As Wichita falls... so falls Wichita Falls."

- John Cusack as Charlie in "The Ice Harvest"

------
Quote: "Ernest Hemingway once wrote, "The world is a fine
place and worth fighting for." I agree with the
second part."

- Morgan Freeman as Detective Lt. William Somerset in
"Seven"

------
Quote: "I like your sweater. Does it come in a V-neck?"

- Paul Rudd as David in "The 40 Year-Old Virgin"

------
Quote: "It's only an island if you look at it from the
water."

- Roy Scheider as Police Chief Martin Brody in "Jaws"

------
Quote: "I'm a teacher, not a Holiday Inn."

- Michael Douglas as Prof. Grady Tripp in "Wonder Boys"

------
Quote: "Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a
few laughs..."

- Bruce Willis as John McClane in "Die Hard"

------
Quote: "You see, in this world there's two kinds of people,
my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig.
You dig."

- Clint Eastwood as Blondie in "The Good, the Bad and the
Ugly"

 

[Smittmaestro]

Ernie McCracken(Bill Murray): "You're on a gravy train with biscuit wheels." - Kingpin

-cs™

 

[hothannah]

"Join Us"

-- The Evil Dead in The Evil Dead (Voiced by the film's Director, Sam Raimi)

 

[Smittmaestro]

"WHAT YOU'RE HIRED FOR, is to help us... does that seem clear to you? TO HELP US, not to... FUCK-US-UP... to help those who are going out there to try to earn a living... You fairy. You company man." - Ricky Roma (Al Pacino) - Glen Garry Glen Ross

-cs™

 

[L3ggy]

Marty McFly: You Can Accomplish Anything, If You Put Your Mind To It.

 

[BlueBalls]

The Dude: It's like what Lenin said... you look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh...

Donny: I am the walrus.

The Dude: You know what I'm trying to say...

Walter Sobchak: That fucking bitch...

Donny: I am the walrus.

Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny! V.I. Lenin! Vladimir Ilich Ulyanov!

- The Big Lebowski

 

[Violator79]

Jesus Quintana- "You said it man, nobody fucks with the Jesus."

- The Big Lebowski

 

[Violator79]

The Joker- "You wanna know how I got these scars? My ****** was....a drinker...and a fiend. Then one night, he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen ***** to defend herself. He doesn't like that, not..one...bit. So, me watching, he takes the ***** to her, laughing while he does it and turns to me and he says...'WHY SO SERIOUS?' He comes at me with the *****. 'WHY SO SERIOUS?' He sticks the blade in my mouth. 'Let's put a smile on that face.' Aaannnddd....why do serious?"

- The Dark Knight

No typed words can describe that scene. You have to watch it for yourself.

 

[PlasmaTwa2]

From Batman Returns:

Selina Kyle: A kiss under the mistletoe. You know, mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.
Bruce Wayne: But a kiss can be even deadlier... if you mean it.
*They realize each other's secret identities*
Selina Kyle: Oh, my God. Does this mean we have to start fighting?

And another Joker from The Dark Knight:

"Well, hello beautiful. You look nervous. Is it my scars? You wanna' know how I got them? Come here, look at me, look at me! See, I had a wife. And she was beautiful. Like you. And she would always tell me that I worried too much, that I needed to smile more. She was a gambler, got it in with the sharks. So, you see, one day, they decided to carve her face. We couldn't afford to pay the hospital bills... I just wanted to see her smile again, to let her know that I didn't care about the way she looked. So I took a razor to my mouth and did this, see? Now she couldn't even stand the sight of me! She leaves me. But, you wanna' know what's so funny about all this? See, now, I'm always smiling!"

 

[Smittmaestro]

Marge Gunderson: "So that was Mrs. Lundegaard on the floor in there. And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper. And those three people in Brainerd. And for what? For a little bit of money. There's more to life than a little money, you know. Don'tcha know that? And here ya are, and it's a beautiful day. Well. I just don't understand it." - Frances McDormand - Fargo

-cs™

 

[Violator79]

The Joker- "You know what I noticed? Nobody panics when things go according to plan. Even if the plan is horrifying. If tomorrow I tell the press that, like a gangbanger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blown up nobody panics, because it's all part of the plan. But when I say that one little old mayor will die, well then everyone loses their minds! Introduce a little anarchy, upset the established order, then everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh and you know the thing about chaos? It's fair."

- The Dark Knight

If you really think about it, in a twisted way, he's right.

 

[maildude]

Willard: Charlie didn't get much USO. He was dug in too deep or moving too fast. His idea of great R&R was cold rice and a little rat meat. He had only two ways home: death, or victory.

--Apocalpse Now