I was in bed with my girlfriend the other night, we were fooling around and i just suggested a different position. All of a sudden she freaks out and starts telling me that to fuck her doggy would be degrading to her, that if i cared at all i'd at least want to make eye contact while we were fucking. I've never heard anything like this before, every other girlfriend i've had hasnt said anything about it, one really preferred it (looking back that may have been because it meant that she didnt have to look at me but i'd rather not dig too deep on that one).
So, has anyone else had this experience? Any thoughts?
Okay, this is one of those areas where she has her values, and you have to work with that.
It's only degrading if that's your intent. At the same time, it's clear that eye contact is important to her. So you have to recognize the latter, while explaining it is not the former. And work from there.
One way is to maybe start with spooning and embracing sideways, then moving more and more to a knees position for you, then her as well. At some point maybe you can get her to look back at you, as you are speared into her, but meeting her eyes leaning to a side.
Remember, it's rarely about "absolute" values and this "degrading v. respectful." It's about taking your partner's values and working with them, putting her at ease, but making sure she recognizes your intent.
God she'd hate me. I've been known to focus on various portions of my wife's body, anatomy, let alone we're not making as much contact when she's sitting on my face, or I'm balls deep into her mouth. I love her entire body in motion, but sometimes she gets on me cowgirl, and I'm totally lusting for her flying DD cups.
the only problem with doggy is the guy can go very deep and it can catch you off guard.
Working the woman up and a good rhythm is always best. In general, I haven't had a problem because I typically go after my wife, and she is completely relaxed, possibly quivering. The nice thing about the quiver is that you can easily tell when she's enjoying it, and when she'll tense (possibly too much, too fast, too deep, etc...).
But what I love about the doggie is that I am so focused on her hips, her hourglass, etc... I typically don't spear and slam hard from behind, but it's a total facination with her backside. Maybe that is why I fantasize about doing such, an immediate slice and hard spear, because I rarely do it in real life.
I really enjoy working the whole experience, slow, extended, maybe even getting her off with an angle, or reaching around and getting that clitoris with my hand. And as much as I talk about cupping my wife's DDs as I ram her from behind, I typically have my hands at those hips, feeling like I'm "pulling" her onto my rod, bounding her cheeks against my pelvis.
In fact, many times I don't grab her breasts at all, until I reach the "point-of-no-return" and then I edge up, and cup her breasts. So I'm not quite as deep into her when I "go nuts," frantically copulating her breasts in total overload just before and just as I unloading into her. That's the most intensive doggie I'll usually have, it's almost always slow and relaxing for both of us.
So as far as "Degrading," it's really her definition. If your lover doesn't want you lusting after her body or portions of her anatomy, and wants you staring into her eyes while you slice, pump and unload, then you have to work with your lover. Of course, if you're the raw, animalistic type of man that sometimes just gets focused on "big fucking tits" or "pounding her hard," honesty is the best with her. If it means you aren't meant from one another, it's better to find out earlier ... than later.
Most of the time, finding a medium is easier than you think. Although any time a woman has a physical issue with the action, such as going too deep, you have to heed that completely. You want her to be comfortable, and especially not fearing discomfort. That never ends well, even if she agrees to "deal with it," you want her desiring it, not "putting up with it."